Night Sky
by ashlynnb14
Summary: Kat Epps is Kip aka Half Sack's twin sister. She gets a message from her brother that has her leaving Seattle and showing up in Charming as fast as possible. She sees a ghost from her past and tries to navigate how to deal with it. Will her secrets catch up with her or can she manage to fix what was broken?
1. Chapter 1

My brother has always had a knack for finding trouble. It had been our mother's hope that joining the Army would give him some discipline. Luckily, she died before ever seeing him get arrested as an adult. During the time she was alive he was still in the Army and doing it wasn't for the motorcycle club that he was joining, I would have bailed him out five times since he was discharged. The one time I did bail him out, he paid me back immediately. I had not talked to him in several months before he called me up talking about getting an implant for the testicle he lost in Iraq. It was enough to spoil my appetite and get me down from Seattle.

I pulled into his driveway and shook my legs out before stretching my back. His truck was in the driveway but the house seemed empty. Normally he would have already come outside if he were home. To be sure, I knocked on the front door several times. When there was no answer, I used my phone to search for the address of the garage he worked for. The map showed it was less than 10 minutes away, so I put my phone back in my jacket and pulled on my helmet.

The garage wasn't hard to find. When I pulled in, there was a line of motorcycles on the left and several cars parked on the right in front of a chain linked fence. My bike didn't belong beside all the choppers and Harley Davidsons, so I opted to park next to one of the cars instead. The cat calls started as soon as I took my helmet off. I rolled my eyes as I swung my leg off the bike. Cat calls were nothing new, I had started riding motorcycles when I was fifteen and men were still surprised to see a woman ride a bike by herself. My keys even had a fabric key tag that read, "I don't ride bitch". Kip had given the tag to me for Christmas several years ago.

"Kat! What are you doing here?" Kip asked, jogging out of the garage. I gave him a tight hug before stepping back and looking him over. He had some bruising on his cheekbone but otherwise looked healthy. His hair was all over the place but that had been the case since we were toddlers.

"You texted me about getting a surgery on your junk, Kip. You think I wouldn't come down here to talk you out of it?" I shook my head as if to say he should have known better. He sighed as several other men walked up. I looked around, feeling confined.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, Sack?" A man with sunglasses and wild black hair asked. I resisted the urge to scoff at the nick name he had gotten. Kip had told me about it before and he was fine with it, I just hated the idea of it. He looked nervous as he looked around the group.

"Uh, this is my twin sister Katerina." He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. "Kat, this is Tig, Chibs and Juice." By the names I assumed they weren't just mechanics but part of the motorcycle club as well. I raised my hand in a silent hello.

"Twin, huh? Sweetheart you should be happy you got the pretty genes." I looked to my right. The man had short black hair with light wisps of gray in it and deep scars on his face. His Scottish accent reminded me of several Scotts that I had met on deployment. I smiled at the compliment since it didn't specifically target my boobs or ass. The man with wild black hair took a step forward and pulled his sunglasses off. I immediately took a step back.

"I understand it was probably tough growing up with this twat as a brother. If you need to talk about it, I'm here. You don't even have to use words." I narrowed my eyes and took a step closer to him. He smiled broadly.

"You want me to use my body? Is that it, big boy?" I asked in a whisper. Kip snorted but the man ignored him and nodded enthusiastically. I slowly unzipped my leather jacket a couple inches and gave him a smirk. He was eating it up until I pulled the zipper back up and shot him the bird. "Never going to happen."

"See, I almost like you for a minute." He pouted. The third man shook his head and clapped him on the back.

"Nice way to crash and burn, Tig." He laughed with a boyish smile before looking over at me. "I'm Juice. That's Chibs."

"Pleasure." I said flatly. I wasn't in the mood to meet everyone and I was still feeling confined. Chibs answered his cellphone and stepped back towards the garage. I breathed a little easier and moved so that Juice and Tig were in front of me instead of to my side. "Kip, I can go wait at your place if you want to give me a key."

"I'm about to leave, Kat. Just sit tight for a minute." He darted back into the garage and I was left with Tig and Juice. Juice looked like he was going to say something until three Harleys rolled onto the parking lot. I glanced over the bikes and did a double take. The graphics on the side of one bike in particular was familiar.

"I'll see you at your house." I threw over my shoulder as I walked towards my bike. Without hesitation I pulled my helmet on, started the bike and left the parking lot towards Kip's house. I rode past his house and up towards the mountains, needs some curves to settle my nerves. As the first sharp right came up, I dropped a gear and leaned my bike into the turn. The turns were simple and spaced apart but it was better than all the straight highway I had ridden on my way to Charming. The sun was setting as I pulled back into Kip's driveway. He was outside before I even had my helmet off.

"What the hell, Kat? You took off like a bat out of hell." Kip said, throwing his hands up. I brushed past him and walked inside. The house looked clean with minimal furniture or decoration. I sat my helmet on the kitchen counter before walking over to the couch. "Kat."

"Kip." I said mockingly. He sat down in the recliner across from the couch and stared at me. "I just felt confined with everyone standing around me. I rode up through the mountains for a little bit and then I came back."

"Have you been seeing anybody?" He asked, searching my face. I raised an eyebrow, confused why he changed subjects to my love life. He sighed. "I mean about Iraq."

"No, why? I was cleared over a year ago." I didn't expect Kip to push the question but he didn't look too convinced. I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine. You're the one that wants a fake ball."

"It isn't a fake ball. It's a prosthetic. If I lost a leg you wouldn't call it a fake leg." He went to the kitchen and returned with two beers in each hand. I took two and he returned to his recliner. "The VA is going to pay 100%."

"That's not the point. Why do you need it? It's just cosmetic." I took a drink of the beer and pulled it away from my mouth quickly. "Pumpkin beer? Really?"

"Shut up." He's cheeks reddened a little. "How would you feel if some guy you were hooking up with dropped his pants and just had one ball?"

"Is he hot?" Kip rolled his eyes. I finished the beer off and leaned forward. "If everything still worked, I wouldn't care. Most women don't care if you're circumcised or not. We don't exactly stare at your junk in the heat of the moment."

Kip opened his second beer and turned the television on. He was done with the conversation and I couldn't really complain. I understood how awkward it was to discuss testicular and sex with your sibling. I returned the second beer to the refrigerator in hopes of finding one less offensive. The shelves were pretty barren of any food. He had a half empty carton of eggs, several bottles of water and three neatly arranged lines of beer. I replaced the pumpkin beer and took an Octoberfest in its place. It was still a little too festive for my liking but almost anything was better than pumpkin.

"Hey, your phone was vibrating." Kip said, motioning towards my jacket. I shrugged and sat down without checking the missed call. If they needed something, they could call back. I settled in on the couch and started watching the comedy Kip had turned on. Once my beer was finished off, I took off my boots and stretched out on the couch. At some point, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up with a pillow under my head and two blankets covering me. Kip was no longer in his recliner. My phone was vibrating again. It must have been what woke me up. When I finally got it out of my jacket, the screen showed four missed calls, all from a blocked number. There was no question in my mind about who it was. I turned the phone off and shimmied out of my jeans before turning over and going back to sleep.

"Morning. You want some breakfast?" Kip was always chipper in the morning. It had always been annoying. I grunted and rolled onto my stomach to block some of the light from assaulting my eyes. "Pancakes or waffles?"

"Fuck you." I groaned. He turned a radio on and cranked up the volume on some metal station. "Coffee, you inconsiderate ass."

"Pancakes and coffee it is." He called over the music. I pulled one of the blankets over my head. When we were little, Mom always woke me up before Kip. She said she could guarantee that I would be at least twenty minutes behind Kip in the mornings, even if she woke me up half an hour before him. It only got worse the older we got. There were many mornings that I was doing my makeup in the car on the way to school because of how late I made everyone. Oddly enough, I stayed at school once we were dropped off. Kip was the one that would skip class.

After breakfast, Kip headed out to the garage. He offered for me to come by and check out the clubhouse but I declined. I was still tired from the ride down from Seattle and I needed to make a few phone calls. I took residency on the couch and turned the television on for background noise as I searched the internet for information on testicle implants. If Kip was really set on doing it, I wanted to make sure he was at least well informed and safe. By the time my stomach started growling, I was surrounded by sticky notes and papers that I had printed off about surgeons and the procedure itself. I picked up my phone off the coffee table and realized I had never turned it back on. It was almost five o'clock in the evening. I was surprised Kip hadn't freaked out and come to check on me.

"You've got to be kidding me." My phone turned on and immediately started vibrating with voicemail notifications, text messages and missed calls. Most of the notifications were from the same, blocked number. I didn't bother opening those notifications and gave Kip a call. He had texted about dinner plans. He answered almost immediately. After convincing him that I had not in fact slept all day, we agreed to meet at a diner in an hour. As soon as I hung up, I dashed down the hall for a shower. I had been in the same clothes for way too long.

"You're late." I said as Kip sat down across from me. He looked exhausted and practically fell into the booth. I raised my brow but didn't ask. The waitress took our orders quickly, spending a little extra time flirting with Kip. I smiled and motioned after her as she walked away. "She's cute. Why don't you ask for her number?"

"I don't have time to date anyone." He muttered. I hated seeing him down. He was normally upbeat and lively.

"I spent the day looking up information on your procedure." I said, hoping to bring him out of his mood. He just nodded. "Apparently the implants are pretty realistic. They're not just metal balls dangling in your scrotum."

"Katerina, really?" He looked around the diner, no doubt hoping no one overheard me. I smiled, proud to have gotten a rise out of him. "I thought you were against it."

"I was against you doing something without really researching it. There's a doctor in Oakland that has a lot of experience. He actually helped develop a new, natural-like implant. He's published in a lot of medicine journals and hasn't had any malpractice suits." I kept going with the information I'd learned until I saw the waitress approaching with our food. Kip gave her a toothy smile as she sat his plate in front of him. Just like that, he was back to being my goofy brother.

"So, are you going to stay to nurse me back to health?" Kip asked, stealing a French fry off my plate. I scowled at him and pulled the plate closer to me.

"I'm going to stay to make sure you don't die from hemorrhaging out of your ball sack." I retorted. He chuckled and reached for another fry. "Next attempt costs you a finger."

****First story in a long time. Please let me know if you have any interest and if you catch any grammatical mistakes. I've been writing this while working. I don't own any characters you recognize, so on and so forth.


	2. Chapter 2

After a couple days of discussing the procedure, the benefits and the risks, Kip decided to go ahead with the surgery. I was still hesitant about the need for the surgery but it was obviously important to him. He scheduled an appointment with the surgeon I had found in Oakland and offered to let me come with him to ask any questions I still had. I declined. I had no intention of seeing his junk more times than absolutely necessary.

"Hey." Kip sounded excited as I answered the phone. I waited, feeling no need to say hello back. "There's a party at the clubhouse tonight. Will you come? Please?"

"I don't know, Kip. I don't know anyone and..." I let my voice trail off. The other reasons I had for staying away from the clubhouse were private.

"Kat, you're not going to know anyone if you don't meet them. Jax will probably bring his doctor girlfriend." I could tell he was grasping at straws.

"Yeah, she and I could discuss my thorough knowledge of scrotum surgery." I teased. He scoffed. His mood had been elevated ever since he scheduled the appointment and I didn't want to be the reason he was down. "I'll think about it, okay? I was getting ready to go for a ride, so I'll let you know afterwards."

"Awesome. Call me." He hung up quickly, not waiting for any goodbye. I sat down on his front steps and held my helmet between my knees. The bubble above my message icon was in the double digits and I had yet to read a single one. If I was going to consider going to the party, I had to make sure not to have any more run ins with him.

1\. _Answer your phone._ (Monday 5:07 pm)

2\. _What are you doing in Charming? Answer the damn call._ (Monday 5:12 pm)

3\. _You're being a child. Text me back or answer the phone._ (Monday 8:24 pm)

4\. _Where are you?_ (Monday 11:15 pm)

5\. _Prospect is acting funny. Know why?_ (Tuesday 10:03 am)

6\. _Katerina_. (Tuesday 12:09 pm)

The next seven messages were much of the same. I was hoping he would say something about leaving town. There were voicemails but I wasn't about to listen to those. I deleted the messages, the missed calls and the voicemails before sliding my phone into the pocket of my Dainese jacket. I was wound up and knew that I needed to get my mind off of shit. When I got back from Iraq, riding was one of the only things that could calm me down. The way I rode took all of my focus or I would end up eating pavement. I spent half of my enlistment bonus on a Ducati Panigale and another fifteen hundred dollars on a leather jacket, boots and full-face helmet. Seeing Kip and other cruiser riders wearing half helmets bugged the shit out of me. One good fall and that helmet would crush their skull. Kip argued that he would be too hot in a helmet like mine. I didn't understand why he thought that won the argument but there was no changing his mind.

After riding the mountains a few times, I rode back into town to get fuel. There weren't many choices in gas stations, so I planned on stopping at the first one I came across. I caught sight of one about a quarter mile ahead and turned on my blinker to go ahead and change lanes. Just as I was getting into the right lane, the Lexus that had been riding my ass whipped around me in the right lane. I planted my left foot to keep the bike up.

"Hell no." I spat. With a twist of my wrist, I was quickly catching up with the Lexus. My rage must have given me tunnel vision because I never saw the police car before it was behind me with blue lights. I considered dropping a gear and disappearing, but I didn't have the gas for that. Instead, I pulled off into the gas station parking lot and hopped off the bike.

"Step away from the motorcycle." The officer commanded as he stepped out of his jeep. The odd vehicle explained why I never saw him coming. "I'm Deputy Hale with the Charming Police Department. Do you know why I stopped you this afternoon?"

"Bad luck. That Lexus passed me on the right as I was getting over and almost hit me. I was trying to catch up with them to make sure they were okay." I lied with a smile. He didn't buy it.

"Is this your motorcycle?" He looked from the bike to me with a quizzical expression. I rolled my eyes and tapped on the seat.

"Registration and my license are under there if you need proof." I couldn't tell if he was questioning ownership due to my gender or if he was implying that I had stolen it. He nodded and motioned towards the seat. I popped the seat off and pulled out the zip lock bag with my documents in it.

"Seattle, huh? What brings you to Charming?" Again, his question seemed double sided. I folded my arms across my chest.

"My brother is having surgery." I could have kept quiet and refused to answer any questions. If I had been in Seattle, I probably would have. Small town cops normally celebrated arrests though. I didn't plan on catching any charges, so I just answered the question.

"Epps. Any relation to Kip Epps?" He asked, handing me my documents back. I nodded. He had his answer. I wasn't going to give him any more information than necessary. "Wait here."

"I'm putting gas in the bike." I called back to him. He didn't say anything so I went on about my business. I had a full tank and my gloves back on before he returned from his Jeep. "Find anything interesting?"

"Do they need to look again?" He snapped. I rolled my eyes and got on my bike. "Slow it down. Next time you will be getting a citation." I gave him a thumbs up and started my bike. The sun was starting to go down as I pulled back into Kip's driveway. He wasn't home, not that I expected him to leave the garage just to go back for a party. Before getting in the shower, I sent him a quick message to let him know I would stop by for a drink or two. He responded immediately with two smiley face emojis.

I stared at the few pairs of jeans and tops that I had brought with me. None of the clothes were really party ready but they would have to make due. I pulled on a pair of black, skinny jeans and a white T-shirt. After drying my hair and throwing on mascara and lip gloss, I headed out. I still had a bad feeling about the party but I also didn't want to let Kip down.

"Kat! I was wondering if you were actually coming." Kip smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. He smelled like a mix of grease and beer. I made a point not to look at the row of bikes he led me past on the way to the clubhouse. The pit of my stomach felt like I was being led into a trap. "So there's the bar, the bathrooms are down that hall, first door on the right."

"I think I've got it." I teased. The layout was pretty understandable, right down to the off limit room behind the heavy looking wooden doors that were opposite the bar. Kip ignored my sarcasm and steered me over to the bar.

"She's with me." Kip announced. The girl pouring drinks didn't look too impressed. "What do you want?"

"Vodka tonic, neat." I was looking at all of the photos lining the walls behind the bar and stretching over towards the door Kip had brought me through. Several of the photos were older and had started to fade a little. All of the older photos had the same five or six guys in it. There were photos of them in military uniform, t-shirts and bell bottoms and finally Levis and the leather kuttes that the members still wore today. It was interesting to see their history, even if I didn't know any of those aging faces in the photos.

"Here ya go." The girl behind the bar slid a glass to me before hurrying back down the bar to help someone else. I took a long drink and silently thanked the gods that motorcycle clubs poured their drinks heavy. Kip waved someone over as I turned around to get a look at the crowd.

"Jax, I wanted you to meet my sister Kat. Kat, this is the club's VP Jax Teller." I'd heard Jax's name numerous times since being in Charming and since Kip started prospecting. I gave him a quick smile.

"Nice to meet you. Kip's talked about you a few times." Jax had a way of talking that even that innocent statement sounded like flirting. I was terrible at meeting new people so I just nodded. "You were in the Army with him, right?"

"Well, we enlisted together but we were never stationed together or deployed together." I felt like he thought I just followed Kip into the Army and hung around him like an annoying little sister. Jax nodded with a bright smile. "Aren't you a little young to be VP?"

"Kat." Kip elbowed me and shook his head. Jax laughed and looked around the bar.

"My father was one of the founding members, so I've grown up in the club. I prospected early and one thing led to another." He didn't seem insulted by the question, despite Kip's bruising of my ribs. I nodded, out of things to start any conversations about. Jax waved to someone behind us. "Make yourself at home, Kat."

"Why did you elbow me, ass?" I hissed. Kip ignored me and walked back towards the bar. I was running low as well, so I decided to follow suit. Just as I was turning, someone grabbed my arm.

I could tell it was him before he spoke. I felt the leather of his kutte against my skin and smelled the spicy cologne he always wore. The metal of his rings felt like ice. I closed my eyes, convincing myself that if I didn't see him it would be better. It felt like an eternity before he spoke.

"You can't ignore me forever." I swallowed hard. His grip wasn't tight on my arm but I felt frozen in place. I kept my eyes closed, wishing he would just go away. "Answer your fucking phone."

He was gone as soon as he showed up. I took a deep breath, realizing that I hadn't been breathing. I didn't dare turn around to look for him. Instead, I finished off my drink, dropped my empty glass off at the bar and left. My heart was racing as I tore out of the parking lot. The back tire of my bike squealed and slid in protest as took the turn onto the street as fast as possible. Once it straightened back out, I laid over my tank and tore through all six gears. I didn't care about the laws, I didn't care about riding on unfamiliar road. I just needed to go somewhere and I needed to go there fast.

It wasn't until one right turn too many that I sat up and slowed down. The road transitioned to gravel and I had no intention of damaging my bike by laying it down or throwing gravel up on the fairings. Once I was down to what felt like a crawling speed, I opened my visor and looked around. There were gazebos over to my left and a large pond to my right. It looked like some park that people had forgotten about for years. Everything was overgrown and green. The rich greens reminded me of Seattle. As my eyes filled with tears, I slowed to a stop.

My emotions were everywhere and it was making me physically sick. I was so angry that I had let him get to me again. I promised I would never cry another tear over him or any man. Yet, there I was in some deserted, forgotten park crying over someone who never even gave a damn. Pacing back and forth in front of my bike, I tried the breathing exercises I had learned in therapy. Instead of relaxing, I ended up throwing up what little I had eaten that day.

"What?" I yelled into the phone as soon as I answered it. I didn't even bother looking to see who it was. The smell of vomit was making me feel ill again, so I walked across the gravel road from it and laid down in the grass.

"Don't yell at me." It was his voice, again. His voice that, before the party, I had not heard in over a year. I pulled the phone away and looked at the red end icon on the screen. All I had to do was hang up. I could go back to Kip's, avoid the club, stay with him while he healed and then leave. "Kat."

"Don't Kat me. You…you… fucking asshole. Why are you calling me? Huh? Why not go on like you have been, ignoring that I ever existed." I was glad to be in the middle of no where so no one could hear me screaming.

"Where are you?" I grabbed a fistful of dirt before slamming my fist onto the ground. "If you're going to yell at me you do it in person."

"I don't fucking know where I am. Leave me alone." I ended the call and chucked my phone into the field. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ground myself, trying to think about anything but what I was feeling. Without thinking twice, I pushed myself off the ground and went over to my bike. My gun was sitting inside my tail bag. I knew it was there. That was where it always stayed. It was underneath a microfiber towel and a map. It was loaded. It had seven rounds of .45 caliber hollow points in the magazine and one in the chamber. As I reached for the zipper, my head seemed to come out from under the water. The crickets and the wind were no longer muffled and the night sky had a full moon and thousands of stars again. I dropped my hand to my side and took a step back.

"Damnit." I muttered, realizing that I had thrown my phone into some over grown field in the middle of the night. I grabbed the flashlight out of my tail bag and started looking in the general direction of where I thought I threw the phone. To make matters worse, even if someone called me it would only vibrate. I rarely kept the ringer turned on because of the sudden, unexpected noise. So, I resorted to doing a grid sweep like we did in the Army only this time I was looking for a cellphone in a field instead of an IED on the side of the road. I was about a hundred feet off the road when I heard the unmistakable sound of a v-twin motorcycle approaching. There was no point in getting low and hiding. He would sit by my motorcycle and wait for me for as long as it took.

The closer the sound of the motorcycle got, the further I got from the road. I was still looking for my phone but I was also trying to distance myself from him. There was a moment that I told myself it could be Kip but I thought better of it. He knew that when I needed space, I needed space. The engine noise finally stopped after growing louder and louder. I heard boots step onto the gravel road but didn't bother looking back. I still needed my phone whether or not he had found me.

"What are you doing?" His voice confirmed my suspicion, even though I had little doubt as to whom had tracked me down.

"Looking for my phone." I swung my flashlight in steady, side to side motions. It was unlikely that I would have thrown it so far from where I had been laying. I must have thrown it at an angle. I turned to the left and took a couple steps before turning back towards the road and resuming my sweep.

"You threw it in the field?" His voice had a chuckle in it, so I ignored him. "You have it on vibrate, don't you?"

"Yes and I don't need your help." I could almost hear myself say that in a teenager's voice. It was juvenile and stubborn but I had no interest in getting help from him. I would even consider throwing it again if he happened to find it. "You had my phone tracked?"

"I did." He didn't defend his answer or offer an explanation. I shook my head and kept looking. "Just leave it and get another one."

"You realize the irony in that statement, right?" I spat. He was already working on my nerves again. At least I could focus on the sweep. I could pretend that I was sweeping for explosives and it would keep me calm. I could just ignore he was there.

"Fuck." I squatted down and picked up my phone. It didn't have a scratch on it and was still on, my old partner Rex's photo shined up at me. So much for focusing on the sweep.

"Are you going to stand out there all night?" He walked a few paces down the road so that he was directly in front of me. I considered it for a moment before taking another step. As soon as my boots hit the gravel, I dodged him and walked towards my bike. He followed me, naturally. "Stop being a bitch."

"You should be glad you're between me and my gun. Don't think I haven't thought about shooting you." I snapped, looking at him for the first time. I damned the moon and the stars in the night sky. He looked exactly the same and it brought feelings crashing down on me again. My mind jumped back to the last time I had seen him. My hands had been bleeding from smashing a glass onto the counter after he told me that he'd never cared, that the whole time he'd been lying. The last time I saw him he'd been riding away on the very same bike I'd seen him ride into Charming on.

"You wouldn't shoot me." He took a step towards me and my hands started to shake. I took two steps back.

"Hand me your gun and I'll prove you wrong." I shook my head as he took another step forward. "Leave me alone, Happy."


	3. Chapter 3

"What are you doing in Charming?" He asked, searching my face with his dark eyes. I pursed my lips and considered how to answer. A part of me wanted nothing more than to lie with every word I spoke to him.

"My brother is having surgery and I didn't want him to be alone." I hated that I couldn't come up with a lie. He would have seen right through anything I could have come up with on the spot. He narrowed his eyes.

"Your brother? Wait, the prospect is your brother?" He was already putting the pieces together. I didn't bother acknowledging what he'd asked. "Why did he prospect with SAMCRO?"

"What?" I blinked, caught off guard by the question. "I don't know. He wanted some kind of brotherhood like he had in the Army? Why don't you ask him?"

"You didn't have anything to do with it?" I realized where he was going with his questions and my blood started to boil.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I wanted nothing to do with the club, Tacoma or stupid Harleys after you left. Why? Why would I want him to prospect with SAMCRO? To what ends? God, you're so conceited." I unclenched my fists and could feel the crescent shape indentions that my nails had made in my palms. His face was pissing me off even more, so I turned away from him and looked out over the water. I couldn't believe he actually thought I had something to do with Kip's choice. "You know what? If it was my choice, he would have chosen literally any other motorcycle club. From what I've seen, you're all just violent, lying, cheating pieces of shit."

"Are you done?" I heard the bite behind his words. There it was. Finally, some emotion from the man that forced so many emotions upon me. I shook my head but remained silent. Despite the fact that he'd never laid a violent or angry hand on me, I didn't want to press my luck. "When are you going back to Seattle?"

"Seattle? I don't live in Seattle." I hoped I sounded convincing. After leaving Tacoma, I didn't have any contact with him or anyone else in the Tacoma charter.

"Yeah, you do." He said it so matter of factually that I turned around to face him. His face was expressionless. "You live off Othello."

"Why do you know that?" I shook my head. "Don't. Don't answer that. Why did you come out here? Why was it so important you talk to me?"

"I wanted to know why you were in Charming." He said flatly. I searched his face for any sign, any hint that there was something more to it. There was nothing. I nodded and walked over to my bike. "When are you going back?"

"If it puts me further away from you? As soon as possible." I slammed my helmet down onto my head and started the engine. It made me so angry that he could still get under my skin. I hated him for how he left. I didn't look back as I rode down the gravel road. I didn't want to see him in my mirror. I never wanted to see him again.

It took over an hour for me to find my way back to Kip's house. His bike wasn't in the driveway. When I walked inside, all of the lights were off. I pulled off my boots and dropped them by the front door before going to the guest room and laying down. I pulled my knees up to my chest and tried to ignore the anxiety washing over me. The timing for Kip's surgery couldn't have been worse. Why, of all times of the year, did he have to plan something when the Tacoma charter was in town? If Happy knew where I lived, did he orchestrate Tacoma coming down to Charming? No. He seemed surprised to see me and didn't know about Kip.

After hours of back and forth in my mind, I dug out the pill bottle that stayed in the bottom of my back pack. I hadn't taken one in six months but I needed to relax. I needed to unwind before I had an attack. I choked down two pills and waited. Luckily, it didn't take long for the medicine to knock me out.

"Kat?" I felt myself being shaken awake but it felt distant, almost like a memory. "Kat! Get up. Come on."

"Kip?" I groaned. I forced my eyes open, confused as to why he was so upset. His eyes were red rimmed and glassy.

"How many did you take, Kat? How many?" He rattled the pill bottle at me feverishly. I grunted and closed my eyes. He thought I'd overdosed. There was no emergency. "Kat!"

"Two. God." I growled, wanting to be left alone to sleep off the rest of what calm the pills could give me. I heard him sigh loudly and set the bottle down. "Go away."

"No." I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was blurry, even after a couple blinks. "What happened? You said you don't need these anymore. You said you were released from therapy and shit."

"I was released." I had quit going a couple months after the fiasco with Happy. The therapist kept harping on me for getting in a relationship with someone unstable. "I'm just worried about the surgery."

"You're full of shit. You searched for fucking bombs in Iraq. You aren't scared of some one-day surgery." I had not heard him angry since the day I visited him in the hospital after the explosion. I closed my eyes again.

"Rex searched for the bombs. I put little flags down to mark them and shot people that shot at us." I grumbled. He was overreacting. As a canine handler, my dog was the one that did the dangerous work during deployments. Kip was making it sound like I had been down there with my nose to the ground.

"Where did you go last night?" Kip was on a roll with the questions. I rolled over and put my face in the pillow. Talking about last night was going to counteract the medicine and he didn't need to know about Happy. He was dumb enough to get involved. "Katerina."

"I'm sleeping. Leave me alone, mom." I wasn't sure he could understand me through the pillow, but he eventually left the room all the same. When I woke up several hours later, he wasn't home. I checked my phone and there were no missed calls and no messages. I felt guilty for scaring him and being grumpy when he was trying to help. To try and make it up to him, I started cleaning. There wasn't much to do but I made a point to wash the bedding and deep clean the kitchen and bathroom as well.

Kip and I were close from the time we were born. We moved around a lot when we were little, so there were times when we were the only friends the other had. He was my best friend. I told him everything when we were teenagers. He was there after my first break-up, after I lost my virginity and after I had to take a pregnancy test three weeks before graduation. He was always the shoulder I could lean on. Even after he got hurt, he paid more attention to what I was going through. He forced me to see a therapist and made me admit that I had PTSD. I hated him for it at the time. I yelled and screamed and threw shit at him but he never left. Getting him to let me leave Oakland by myself was like pulling teeth. He was always too worried about me and that was part of the reason I left. I felt like I was pulling him down with me.

"You didn't have to do this." Kip said as he walked in. I sat a pumpkin beer in front of his spot at the table. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was a bitch to you this morning." I confessed. He shook his head and sat down. I sat in the seat across from him and watched as he started cutting up his lasagna.

"No one makes veggie lasagna like you." He said with a full mouth. I laughed and started eating as well. It was our mother's recipe. She had concocted it after Kip and I announced we were no longer eating meat. Kip had told me that the guys in the club gave him a hard time about being vegetarian, so I wanted to make sure he got lasagna at least once while I was in town.

"Well, I made another one. It's in the freezer. It should be good for up to six months." I watched him smile brightly and I felt better about my decision to come to Charming. It had been too long since I had last seen him. Then, he'd come up to Seattle for a few days after having to say goodbye to his girlfriend Cherry. He wouldn't ever tell me much about what happened, but it had him torn up for a while. "Are you ready for the big day tomorrow?"

"Not really." He shrugged and leaned back in his seat. "It's going to hurt like hell afterwards."

"Yeah," I couldn't help but laugh. "Just think of all the ladies that are going to see a full set of balls though. You could even play a game of are they real."

"They aren't boobs. That game only works with boobs." His cheeks had turned a little pink. "Seriously though, what if they cut open the wrong one or something?"

"I'm pretty sure a doctor can tell which side you're missing a ball on, Kip." He chuckled and rose to his feet.

"Do you want another beer?" I nodded and cleaned up the plates before meeting him in the living room. "There's a NCIS marathon if you want to watch a couple episodes."

"You had me at NCIS." I laughed. We both loved the show and would message each other about the weekly episodes when we were in the Army. It was our way of doing something together despite living across the country and then across the world from each other.

We watched five or six episodes before calling it quits. He was falling asleep in the recliner and I could barely keep my eyes open on the couch. After throwing away our empty beer bottles, we headed down the hall way towards the bedroom. Kip stopped just short of the guest bedroom.

"Kat?" I rubbed the back of my neck and looked up at him. "I'm glad you came down. I miss you."

"I've missed you to, kiddo. Get some sleep and don't wake me up extra early in the morning." He laughed at my warning as he gave me a rare kiss on the top of my head. I couldn't help but smile. As I laid down in the bed, I thought about my options. I was between jobs in Seattle and didn't have much to go back to. However, as much as I wanted to be closer to Kip, I didn't want to jeopardize or complicate his standing with the club. More than that, I didn't want to risk bringing him down with me. Kip was getting his life together and he seemed happy. If I was around, he would always be worrying about me and trying to help.

"Morning." Kip flipped on the lights and hurried down the hallway. He knew I hated being woken up like that. I groaned and rolled out of bed, telling myself that today was about him.

"You know you can't eat or drink anything." I yawned. Kip nodded and poured coffee into a ceramic thermos. He handed it over and motioned towards the door. "Can't I just follow you?"

"No because you have to drive on the way back. Do you think you remember how?" He locked front door and walked over to his truck. I couldn't remember the last time I had driven a cage. I clearly remembered the last time I was in a car but that was something I didn't necessarily want to think about given who else was in the backseat with me. "What?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired." I wasn't lying. I only managed to get a couple hours of sleep. He glanced at me and shook his head. "Don't take your eyes off the road. God."

"We've barely left the driveway. Chill out." I propped my elbow on the door and held my head up with my hand. It wasn't too long of a drive to Oakland but being in the truck made it feel like a cross country road trip. Kip turned up the radio and started singing along to some classic rock. He elbowed me to sing along and I waved him off. Once we got into Oakland, Kip turned the music off and slowed down. I noticed him sit up straighter and he had his head on swivel.

"What? Don't tell me you're lost because you were just here a couple days ago." He shook his head but didn't elaborate. I sat up and scanned the traffic ahead of us. Nothing seemed out of the usual. I checked the side mirror and saw a lone motorcycle a few cars back. The rider had a kutte on but I didn't recognize the colors. Kip switched lanes to the right and stared into the rearview mirror. The rider didn't seem to notice or be paying any extra attention to the truck. "I think he's just riding, Kip."

"Yeah, you're probably right." He continued on to the doctor's office, still tense and checking the mirrors extra frequently. I was taken back to one of the last days in Iraq. Rex and I were in a convoy with a Marine Recon unit that was pushing into Al-Shatrah. We had taken fire several times but everyone was whole, no one was hit. The closer we got to Al-Shatrah, the quieter it got. We were all scanning ahead, behind and to either side, even Rex. We were less than half a kilometer out when Rex started barking and standing up, then sitting down. Our Humvee stopped immediately but the squad in front of us pulled over to the shoulder. The explosion was immediate, deafening and blinding. Dirt and debris rained down on our Humvee as we unloaded and went to check for any survivors. Rex got to work quickly and was signaling every few steps. Within minutes, our convoy was almost completely surrounded by marker flags. Rex had found over fifty IED's, not including the one that had been set off. I still remembered wishing I'd told them to stop just thirty seconds earlier.

"Hey. Where are you at?" Kip's voice pulled me out of my memory but I could still smell the powder explosives. "Kat."

"I'm good." I unbuckled and got out of the truck quickly. Kip hesitated by the front of the truck and I could tell he was worrying about me. "I'm fine. Really."

We headed into the building and I started grounding myself. We were in Oakland. I was with Kip. The floor was marble. The elevator had a stupid picture of balloons on it advertising for depression medication. Once the elevator doors opened, I was breathing a little easier and no longer hearing my own heartbeat pulsing in my ears. I looked over at Kip who quickly looked away from me. He had his hands stuffed in his front pockets and was rocking from his heels to his toes. I dropped my eyes to the floor. I felt like shit for causing him to worry about me.

"Look, when I get home I'll go see the therapist. Okay? You don't have to worry about me." I whispered. Kip looked me in the eyes for a second before nodding and leaning back. When the nurses called him back to prep him for surgery, I smiled and told him I would see him when he got out. As soon as he was behind the door, I started picking at my nails. My anxiety was nearly making me nauseous. I knew worrying about Kip was irrational but the anxiety took it and ran with it.

"Can you tell me how he's doing?" I asked the receptionist. She looked up with wide eyes before narrowing them. "What?"

"Ma'am, he's only been back for fifteen minutes. The procedure won't start for at least forty five minutes." She looked at me like I had a second head growing out of my shoulder. I sighed and turned from the desk.

"Actually," She looked up from her computer, obviously annoyed. "I'm going to step outside. Can you call me when he gets out?"

"Sure, leave your number here." I quickly jotted my number down on the sticky note and headed for the door. Sitting in the waiting room just…waiting was killing me. I headed down to the parking lot and out to Kip's truck. I knew there had to be a pack of cigarettes in his center console. As I was digging around for the pack, my phone started vibrating in my back pocket. I cradled it between my shoulder and my ear, hoping I wasn't searching in vain.

"Hello?" I was starting to lose hope in finding anything, so I moved on to the glove box.

"Didn't think you'd actually answer." Happy sounded caught off guard. I rolled my eyes, too focused on finding the cigarettes to argue with him. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find cigarettes in Kip's truck." I said, closing the glove box. I stepped back and twisted so I could take a look under the seats.

"What's wrong?" I ignored his question. He didn't have any business knowing what was bothering me. "I've never seen the prospect smoke anything but some pot. What's wrong?"

"A lot." I stated, slamming the door closed. Happy knew that I only smoked on two occasions. He probably assumed that I wasn't screwing anyone during my brother's surgery, so that would have to mean that I was extremely wound up about something. I hated that he still knew me. I wished that he would just forget everything that he'd ever learned about me. I looked up and down the street but didn't see any service stations.

"Kat would you just fucking talk to me. Hell, yell at me if it makes you feel better." I closed my eyes and leaned up against the truck. Every time he said my name it felt like someone was driving a knife into my chest.

"I can't do this anymore." I felt myself cracking as a tear ran down my cheek. "I was doing okay until I got fired. It started with being tired all the time and now I can barely sleep. I wake up every single morning and fight the same damn memories that kept me up all night."

"Where are you?" His voice wasn't as harsh as it had been when I answered or when I left him on the side of that gravel road. I shook my head and slid down, my back resting on Kip's front tire. "Katerina, tell me where you are or I'll just have your phone tracked again."

"I'm not in Charming, Happy. I'm fine, okay?" I pulled the phone away from my ear and ended the call. My ears started ringing. It started off low while I was on the phone but it kept getting louder and louder. It drowned out the sound of passing traffic, the birds that had been chirping and cawing, everything was drowned out by the damn ringing. I tried to stand up but the world started spinning and the ground turned to waves beneath my feet. Grabbing onto the mirror, I lowered myself back down. My chest was getting tighter and tighter. "In and out. In and out."

"Kat." I forced my eyes open and looked up. Someone was standing above me, perfectly blocking the sun with their head and shoulder. I blinked.

"Happy?" I blinked again, this time slowly. "How did you get here so fast?"

"I talked to you an hour ago." He squatted down and the sun burned my eyes. I turned my head away sharply.

"Ow." I muttered. I heard him sit down on the ground next to me. He elbowed me lightly.

"Here." I looked over at him and saw him holding a fresh pack of menthols and a black lighter. I noticed my hand shaking as I reached out and took the cigarettes. "Mind if I sit here for a minute? Had to ditch some local cops on my way here."

"You can sit." I could always tell when he was lying.


	4. Chapter 4

"Do you want one?" I asked after lighting up my second cigarette. I was starting to feel better as the nicotine coursed through my veins. Happy shook his head. "That's new."

"Haven't smoked menthol," he paused and looked at the rings on his hands. "Just haven't smoked them in a while."

I told myself not to look much into what he had almost said. Menthols could get old pretty quickly. He had been smoking regular red labels when I met him but would frequently smoke some of my menthols. Stop, I told myself. I checked my watch, wondering how much longer it was going to take.

"He's probably fine." Happy offered. He hadn't said much since joining me on the ground. I nodded and took a long drag. I didn't know what to say to him. He had ridden almost an hour from Charming to bring me a pack of smokes? It didn't make any sense. He had been such an asshole since I saw him riding onto the lot of Teller Morrow. I paused my thoughts. That wasn't right. I was the one who left and ignored his calls and texts. Aside from accusing me of getting Kip to prospect with SAMCRO, he hadn't done anything overly rude.

"Why did you come here?" My voice came out as a whisper. I was torn about starting a conversation with him. There was a good chance it would bring all of the pain crashing back down on me. Happy looked up at me, his brow furrowed.

"When I found out where you were, I figured you wouldn't be able to get them yourself." He took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. "I also remembered finding you in the middle of an attack one night. Just doesn't seem like something you should go through alone."

My mouth fell open just enough to drop the cigarette onto my leg. I immediately regretted wearing shorts as the cherry burnt my leg. Happy chuckled as I jumped up and smacked my leg. I was embarrassed and still trying to process what he'd said.

"It's not fucking funny." I slammed my palms onto the hood of Kip's truck and lowered my head between my arms. The wasted cigarette was still smoking on the ground by my feet. "Why? Why do you give a damn about what I'm going through, Happy? After you left like that? After you made sure that you leaving me hurt like hell? Do you know what that was like for me?"

"Kat, stop yelling." Happy's tone was even. He didn't stand up or move to try and stop me from continuing. I smacked the hood of the truck again.

"You know how when you're riding and it's pouring rain? You pull over underneath a bridge and everything stops? Shit is still going on in front of you and behind you but not shit is touching you. When you left, I was right back in that down pour." Happy stood up. "It was always there, all of this shit. It was just easier with you there. Do you understand? When you told me that it meant nothing, that everything you'd said had been a lie, I felt like I deserved that shit. I felt like it was the world's way of paying me back for things I had done."

I knew I was rambling. It was something the therapist had told me I did when I was agitated. I probably would have kept going if I hadn't felt Happy's arms wrap around me. I pushed away from him, my palms on his chest. He didn't let go. I balled my hands into fists and pounded them on him. He pulled me closer. Finally, my fight ran out. Happy put his hand on the back of my head and slowly started to stroke my hair as I cried into the side of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Kat." He whispered. I gently shook my head but I couldn't pull away. I finally felt safe. Despite the pain, despite wanting to hate him for how he left, I never felt safer than in that moment. I was able to relax and let go of all the stress, all the anxiety that had been building up inside of me. The moment lasted maybe two minutes before my phone started vibrating. We pulled apart slowly, neither quite ready for the moment to end. As the receptionist told me that Kip was out of surgery, Happy took a few steps towards his bike.

"Thank you." I said. Happy paused for a moment and looked at me. He didn't speak or wave goodbye. I watched his back as he walked away and got on his bike. I felt myself begin to smile as he rode away.

"Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?" Kip had just begun to wake up when I sat down in a chair beside the bed. He grunted and closed his eyes again. I didn't rush him. I leaned back in the chair and let my mind be still. Kip was okay. That was all that mattered, everything else could wait.

By late afternoon, I was pulling the truck back into Kip's driveway. He was doped up and had not stopped talking since we left the doctors office. He talked about his ex girlfriend Cherry, his motorcycle, how he felt his prospect year was going and everything in between. I didn't have to do much beyond nod occasionally and throw in a random yeah or oh. Despite how annoying he was, I knew that once the initial meds wore off, he would be in a much different mood. For that reason alone, I let him go on and on.

"You could stay, you know? In Charming. I don't like that you live in Seattle. It's too far away." Kip declared as I helped him inside the house. I nodded. "Will you think about it? Please?"

"Yeah, I'll think about it. Right now, we need to get you to bed, okay?" I guided him down the hall and pushed his bedroom door open with my foot. He sighed dramatically but sat on the bed without fighting me. "I'm keeping the door open so you just have to yell if you need anything, ok?"

"Thanks, Kat. You're the best." He yawned and started squirming around on the bed. I sat at the foot of the bed for a little while, just watching him sleep. An irrational part of my brain thought that if I walked out of the room he would stop breathing. It reminded me of what some women said they thought after they had their first child. After my back started aching, I quietly left Kip's room, making sure to leave the door open. I checked the locks on both doors and settled in on the couch with a heated blanket. It was particularly cold but when I laid on top of the blanket, it seemed to soothe my back.

As I stared up at the ceiling, I tried to make sense of everything. My emotions were all over the place. Amongst the happiness of spending time with Kip, I was also sad that I would have to leave soon. Where I was relieved to have had a decent conversation with Happy, I was also scared that it would end up making me miss him more. Underneath every emotion, there was also anger. I was angry at myself for choices I had made leading me to be unemployed and three months behind on rent. I was angry at Happy for hurting me and refusing to leave me alone after seeing me in the parking lot of TM. I was angry with Kip for not recognizing what he was capable of in life. I was also mad at the damn Army for chewing both of us up and spitting us out. I hated being so angry. I missed being carefree and easy going.

Kip was sore and irritable for several days after the surgery. He wanted to get back up on his feet so he could help the club with something that was going on. I didn't bother asking what it was, I knew he couldn't tell me. After a week, he was back on his feet. He still couldn't ride, so he took the truck and spent more and more time at the clubhouse. I knew that he didn't need my help anymore when he spent three nights in a row in the bunk room.

"Kat, you can stay here as long as you want." Kip said over dinner on one of the rare nights that he came home. I set my fork down and looked up at him. "I've just been busy. The club is dealing with a lot right now and we're a little shorthanded after Tacoma went back up to Washington."

"It is time for me to go, Kip. I've got things I need to take care of back home." I pushed my broccoli around my plate. He didn't know that I had lost my job. He thought I was just taking some time off.

"You're probably right." His voice wavered a little and I wondered what he was hiding from me. I hadn't asked about the cut above his eye or why had was moving a little stiffer than usual. I had spent enough time with Happy to know that being part of the club came with inherent risk. If he wanted to tell me about it, he would. He must have seen the worry written all over my face. "Don't worry, Kat. I'm safe."

"Safe is a relative term when you're in a criminal gang, Kip." I offered him a small smile to let him know I was half joking. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. You're just a group of motorcycle enthusiasts."

"Exactly." He said with a chuckle followed immediately by a wince. If my presence in Charming would have kept him safe, I wouldn't have thought twice about staying. Unfortunately, I had to accept that he'd made his decisions about the club and everything that went with it long ago. It wasn't my place to judge him or try and convince him otherwise. "When are you leaving?"

"In the morning. The weather is supposed to be pretty mild." I explained. He nodded with a slight frown. "We'll do better about staying in touch, okay?"

"Good." He offered me a half smile as he pushed his chair back from the table. "I've got to get back."

"I guess this is goodbye then." I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He kissed the top of my head and gave me a little squeeze.

"Nah, I'll make my way up to Seattle soon." I highly doubted that considering how things seemed to be going with SAMCRO, but I smiled and nodded as though it was a done deal. His grin was toothy and bright as he walked out of the house. I felt my chest tighten a little, wishing I could convince myself to stay.

Just as I told Kip, I left the next morning. My heart was heavy but I just rode harder to keep my mind off of it. I lucked out and didn't run into any police or state troopers. If I had, I probably would have been arrested, or at least heavily fined for how fast I was riding. Aside from an hour nap at a truck stop, I rode straight through. Seattle weather was only predictable if you thought it was always raining. I wasn't going to miss a chance to ride completely dry for a couple more hours of crappy sleep.

"Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I made it home. You're probably busy so just text me when you get this." I ended the voice message and slid my phone back in my pocket as I stared at the red eviction notice on my door. I wasn't surprised but the timing wasn't great. I only had one more day to get my stuff out. My bank account had less than a hundred dollars in it, so I didn't have many options. The lights didn't turn on after I tried flipping the switch a few times. Defeated, I dropped my bags by the front door and headed to bed. There was nothing I could do about my situation after eleven o'clock at night.

The next morning, I started packing all of my clothes and what few personal belongings I had into duffle bags and back packs. My stomach was growling loudly but I didn't have the time or money to deal with it before I figured out a place to stay. After racking my brain for options, I started going through the contacts on my phone. I made a couple calls but no one answered. Finally, I tried my old boss from the job before last.

"Hey, Emily. It's Katerina." I sat down on the couch and was thankful it had come with the apartment so I didn't have to find somewhere for it to go.

"Kat! How are you?" Emily was always nice and had tried her best to keep me employed at the restaurant. She looked the other way when I was routinely late after fighting traffic across the city from my therapist's office. She always told me how important it was to go to the sessions. One night after closing we shared some cake that the kitchen had left over. Emily had told me about her brother who had been a Marine. She said that he told everyone he was fine and kept them in the dark. They didn't know how bad he was until they found him after he'd hung himself in his garage. So, she overlooked my tardiness on days I had therapy. It wasn't until an incident with a guest that she had to let me go. I never blamed her and she stayed in touch for several months after I was fired.

"Not that great. I had to go to California for a few weeks to take care of my brother. I came back and found an eviction notice on my front door." I left out being fired from the bar that I'd been working at and being flat broke.

"Oh no. I hate to hear that. Is your brother okay?" She always cared so much about other people. She reminded me of my mom in that way.

"Yeah, he's fine. He just had surgery and needed some help for a while. I was just wondering if you still had that storage building off of Central." I tried to keep it casual.

"I do but there's hardly any room for furniture." She sounded genuinely deflated from not being able to help.

"No, no. I don't need to store any furniture. This place was furnished. If I could just keep a couple duffle bags there for a week or two until my new place is ready, I would be super grateful." I felt a twinge of guilt about lying to Emily but I knew if she had the whole truth, she'd be offering up her guest room and the whole nine yards.

"Oh! Yeah! That's not a problem at all. I'll text you the combination to the lock. I'm swamped at the restaurant or I would meet you out there." I heard her kids calling for her in the background.

"Not a problem. My schedule is pretty crazy at the bar. I'll just swing by and drop those off today before my shift. Thanks so much, Emily." I was really racking up the lies on the one phone call. I told myself it was to keep Emily from worrying. Really, I was just embarrassed. Emily sent me the combination almost immediately after we ended the call. It was going to take more than one trip on my bike, so I went ahead and headed down with the largest of the four bags.

I missed a call as I was riding over with the third bag. Riding with duffle bags on a sports bike was precarious so I didn't risk answering the call on my headset. I needed all of my attention and energy on balancing the weight of the bag and navigating some of the less maintained streets of Seattle.

"Not blocking your number anymore?" I asked Happy, pulling the storage unit door closed.

"Nah. What was that noise?" He sounded like he had just woken up. It used to be my favorite time to hear him speak.

"Storage door. Just doing some Spring cleaning." The last thing I needed was Happy knowing that I was struggling. I had to keep some of my pride intact. "Did you need something?"

"Just seeing if you made it back to Seattle yet." He said with a yawn. I told him that I'd gotten back the night before. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just busy catching up on stuff that I couldn't take care of from Charming." I took a deep breath and looked up at the clouded sky. "I appreciate you checking on me but please don't call me again, Happy. It just confuses things."

"It doesn't have to be confusing, Kat. I know I messed up." I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I wouldn't have called him back. "There was-"

"Happy. Please. Stop." I felt my heart rate starting to climb quickly. "I can't do this. I'm sorry." I ended the call and turned the phone off. I kicked the storage unit door and screamed. There was no way I could think about picking things back up with him. I was going to be homeless in less than twenty-four hours and had no job. I was quickly becoming a PTSD statistic and there was no way I was going to also become a woman that relied on a man for everything.

Two weeks later, I walked out of a motorcycle dealership with my head hanging low. I had been staying at a homeless shelter and parking my bike in garages that I could ride around the gates of. I had interviewed for a couple jobs but was still waiting to hear something. I was desperate. I knew that my bike would go for at least a few thousand, despite the higher than average mileage. It pissed me off that I had to resort to selling the one thing that still gave me some happiness but I was out of options. When the dealership offered me four-thousand dollars, I was insulted. After a lot of back and forth, including me begrudgingly using my veteran status, they agreed to forty-five hundred. I couldn't bring myself to do it but the guy seemed to feel sorry for me. He gave me twenty-four hours to change my mind.

I knew what I had to do. Since I didn't know when I would ever be able to ride again, I headed out to the mountains. I wanted to have one last run through the switch-backs and sweeping turns before giving it over to the dealership. I was on my second run up the mountain when I saw a chopper behind me. It was rare to see anything beyond sport bikes and touring bikes running the pass. I knew there was no way he would keep up through the twists and turns, so I sped up to get away from the droning of his exhaust.

"What the fuck?" I yelled, throwing my visor up and looking over at the rider who had shown up on my left. He was way too close to my bike and I knew he was pushing his chopper. One bad lean angle and he could take us both out. He didn't seem to care. I shook my head and dropped a gear, pushing myself through the turns faster than I normally cared to. My right knee dragged across the asphalt on one particularly tight turn. Once the road straightened out for a couple hundred yards, the chopper caught back up with me. I was coming up on a black work van fast, so I had to hope that he wouldn't run into the back of my bike as I slowed down quickly.

He stayed right on my back tire and the van wasn't speeding up any time soon. I flipped him the bird and moved to pass the van, double yellow line be damned. The van swerved to the left, cutting me off. I knew something wasn't right. My vision started to tunnel. I didn't have many options for at least another mile when the road opened up to four lanes. I decided to back off the van, taking my chances with the chopper. We were about two car lengths off the van's back bumper when the rear door opened.

There were two men standing in the back of the van. One had a large metal pipe while the other one was holding a rifle. I ran through every prayer and every curse word I could imagine as the van slowed down. The last thing I saw before being thrown into the air off my bike was the metal pipe flying out of the man's hands. The pipe hit me somewhere, maybe in the chest or the head. I lost control of the bike and came down hard on the ground. I saw my bike flying in the air above me just before everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

I was so cold. There was no other feeling anywhere in my body besides cold. I tried to open my mouth to scream for help but nothing would come out. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I couldn't even cry when I realized that I was going to die alone in some ravine. There was so much I wish I could have done. I thought about Kip and wished I could have said goodbye properly. Hopefully the club would help him get through my death. He had already experienced so much loss in twenty-nine short years.

"Katerina, can you hear me?" The voice sounded distant and unfamiliar. I fought to open my eyes. It was bright. Maybe it was heaven. It didn't make much sense. There was no way I would go to heaven if it existed.

"Kat, wake up. Please." His voice was still distant but I would recognize it anywhere. I tried so hard to open my eyes again. It was exhausting. "Hey, she's starting to open her eyes."

"Katerina?" It was the unfamiliar voice again. Where had Happy gone? I didn't understand. "Sir, you need to step outside. Katerina, it's okay. Someone go get Dr. Hurst, she's tachycardic!"

Finally, my eyes opened wide enough to see Happy being drug out of the room. I tried to reach out for him but my arms wouldn't move. A bright light flooded my eyes and burned like the time I watched my father weld something. I tried to turn my head sharply towards the door but my chin hit a neck brace.

"Ha-" I didn't want him to leave. I could just barely see him out in the hallway with what looked to be police or security. I tried to reach out for him again. "Plea-"

Everything was getting fuzzy and dark. I could feel something cold pumping through my veins. It was getting cold again.

"You can't die, Kat. You don't get to stop fighting. You have to fight back." I heard his voice again. I didn't want him to stop talking again. He was holding my hand and I could feel the warmth of his skin along with the cold of his rings. "I should have never left, Kat. I thought you'd be safer that way. You were supposed to be safe and happy." He paused and let out a sigh. "Fuck. I didn't want an old lady, Kat. I never wanted to have anyone to leave behind. You scared the shit out of me. Why did you make me love you, huh? Damnit."

I pushed my eyes open and saw him sitting beside the bed with his head hung low. He was still holding my hand but his other hand was covering his face. I squeezed his hand but he didn't move or seem to notice. I tried again. He slowly looked up and stared at my hand. I squeezed it as hard as I could and he finally looked up at me. I could tell he had been crying.

"Hey." I whispered. It hurt to speak and my voice sounded like static. He kissed the back of my hand and moved closer to the head of the bed. "Where am I?"

"You're at Harborview. Do you remember what happened?" I tried to nod but my neck felt stiff. "You went down in the mountains, Kat. Some state trooper found you on his way home."

"Van." I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn't make the words leave my mouth. He blinked and sat up a little straighter. I closed my eyes, preparing myself to speak again. "Pipe."

"When did she wake up?" I opened my eyes and looked over at the door. There was an older lady in blue scrubs. She didn't look happy. "You were told to get someone as soon as she woke up!"

"Stop yellin' woman. She just woke up." Happy stood up. I looked at him quickly, begging him not to leave again.

"Stay." I could barely even hear myself. Happy looked down at me and I noticed a black bruise forming under his eye.

"I'm just going in the hall, Kat. I've got to call your brother." He bent down and kissed my forehead before walking around the bed and past the nurse. As soon as he was outside, she closed the door.

"He's unbearable." She said, shaking her head. "You don't need to try speaking. You were very dehydrated when you were brought in. Your neck is still quite swollen from the trauma and exposure. Blink once if you understand me."

I blinked.

"The doctor is going to come in soon and talk to you about your injuries and the surgeries." She looked at me for a moment, so I blinked.

"Do you have any drug allergies? Once for yes or two for no." I blinked twice. She nodded and jotted a few things down in the chart that was hanging on the foot of the bed. "If I send him back in here, you can't talk. Do you understand?"

I rolled my eyes and blinked once. She shook her head and crossed the room. Happy was leaning against the door frame, eager to get back in the room. The nurse squared up to him and pointed a finger at his face.

"Do not make her speak. She needs to rest her throat. One blink is yes and two is no. Got it?" I found myself smirking at how feisty she was. Most people, especially women, were afraid of Happy. She disappeared down the hallway as he came back in. He pulled the armchair closer to the bed and leaned back. I wanted to ask him how long he had been there. I wasn't even sure about what day it was.

"Your brother is about an hour out." He said. He wasn't looking at me, so I didn't bother blinking. "He's going to ask why I'm your emergency contact."

"Sorry." I forced out. He looked me in the eyes and held a finger up to his lips. I rolled my eyes. How was I supposed to have a conversation with him through blinking? I seriously doubted he knew Morse Code.

"Do you want me to tell him about us?" He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. I closed my eyes and wished he would just let me talk as much as I could. "Was that a blink or are you sleeping?"

"Bike?" I didn't know what to tell Kip or how to explain why I never told him that I had dated someone in the club. Happy scowled at me for speaking again.

"You've always been so damn stubborn." I blinked once and it managed to make him laugh a little. I smiled and waited for his response to my question. "From the pictures it looks like you high-sided, Kat. Your bike was DOA."

I closed my eyes and balled my hand into a fist; it pulled at the IV and stung. So much for the money that I was planning on using to try and restart my life. Now I had thousands of dollars of medical bills to deal with on top of everything else. If I ever found out who was up on that road with me, I was going to kill them.

"What?" I had done my best to hit Happy's hand but it was barely a brushing. I focused and held my hand like it had a pen in it. "You think you can write something?"

I scowled at him and blinked. There were few other options since he and the nurse wouldn't let me speak. He shook his head and started searching the drawers for a pen and piece of paper. He came back to the bed with a pen and a bandage package. I rolled my eyes but it would have to work. I directed all of my focus and energy to writing. Happy held the package for me as I struggled with the pen.

"632YLB? A fucking license plate, Kat?" He watched me as I made a point to blink once. "Did they have something to do with you going down?"

I blinked and started trying to write again. I managed to scratch out the word threw and Happy seemed to get the point. He pushed away from the bed and started pacing angrily. I dropped the pen and closed my eyes, exhausted from the effort.

"You said pipe before the damn nurse came in. A van with that plate threw a fucking pipe at you? It didn't fall out? They threw it at you?" He was almost yelling. I opened my eyes long enough to close them again in a single blink. I heard something crash but didn't bother looking to see what he'd broken. He would probably get thrown out again. "I'll fucking kill them, Kat. I promise you."

"What's going on in here?" I opened my eyes to see who I assumed was the doctor. He was older and wore slacks and a dress shirt with a white jacket instead of the scrubs everyone else seemed to have on.

"She wanted some water. I tripped." I looked over to see a hospital bed tray and all of its contents on the floor. The doctor didn't seem too convinced when he looked over at me. I gave him a smile to try and push Happy's story through.

"Are you hurting anywhere?" The doctor asked. He either decided to believe Happy or thought it better he didn't know the truth. I blinked once. "Your throat? I'll have the nurse get something for you. I wanted to go over your injuries and talk to you about what we've done so far. You were very lucky, Katerina. You need to know that as we discuss what will happen going forward."

He started with the hypothermia and dehydration. From their estimates, I had been in the ravine for about three days before the state trooper found me. In that time, it had rained and gotten down to thirty-seven degrees at night. I had pneumonia and infection had started to set in on my right leg. When he mentioned my leg, he pulled out an x-ray and held it up to the light. I could easily see two breaks. He held up another x-ray that showed bolts and plates holding my bone together. I had lost about three pints of blood by the time I got into the ER and another pint during surgery.

"We did not have any advanced directives on file for you so we took extreme measures to revive you." I felt tears building in my eyes as Happy stormed out of the room. The doctor paused and looked after him. "Do you want me to wait for him?"

After I blinked twice, he continued to tell me that they had performed CPR three times in the operating room. I would need another surgery on my leg but they didn't want to try another operation until I was stable. He finally finished with telling me about three broken ribs and a fracture in my left arm. I felt overwhelmed. I had fewer injuries after the crash in Iraq.

"We are going to let your body rest and shoot for a surgery at the end of the week. Until then you won't be able to leave the bed, okay?" He searched my face for understanding.

"I can't pay." I managed to force out. The doctor shook his head and rose to his feet.

"We have programs that can assist you, Katerina. Let's get your body healed and then we can figure the rest out." The tears that had been lingering fell down my cheeks rapidly. He patted my uninjured knee and pointed towards the door. "It looks like someone is here to see you. Now, try not to talk or Frieda will have both our asses, Katerina."

I saw Kip standing at the door with red eyes and messy hair. The only time I had been happier to see him was after the call about the explosion he was in. My tears kept flowing as he rushed over. He paused for a moment, obviously trying to figure out how to hug me without hurting me. I offered him my hand, unsure if a hug was really possible. He took it and kissed my forehead.

"Damnit, Kat. You scared the shit out of me." He sobbed. I was terrible when men cried. My automatic response was to cry along with them. He rested his forehead on mine lightly and tried to get his emotions in check. My own sobbing was sending shooting pains through my chest. I assumed that had a lot to do with the CPR. A few minutes after we'd both stopped crying, Kip stood up. "You look like shit."

Kip sat with me for several hours before we had any other visitors. Frieda had been in a few times to check my vitals and remind me not to talk. Kip was just as strict about me staying quiet as she was, so he just watched television and I slept off and on. He finally stepped out of the room while the nurses changed my catheter. When he returned, he had a stuffed puppy and a balloon. It wasn't big but it did a lot to bring happiness to the room. After dinner, or the hospital food they called dinner, Juice stopped by.

"Damn, Kat." He looked like he was going to be sick. I raised my fingers in an attempted wave. "Happy said you needed a new phone."

"Where is he?" Kip asked as Juice sat a new iPhone on the tray in front of me. I looked from Kip to Juice, curious about the answer myself. Juice stiffened a little.

"He said he had something to take care of. You think I'm going to question him?" Juice laughed at the idea. Kip shook his head and asked Juice to stay with me for a few minutes. Once he was out of sight, Juice looked at me. "You and Hap, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and used the phone to type a short message.

"Yeah, I get complicated." He nodded, glancing towards the door again. "He told me to tell you that he's going to make sure you're safe."

I blinked slowly. I still knew Happy, despite having broken up almost two years ago. I noticed that Juice seemed to be watching me for some kind of reaction, some kind of sign to tell him how much I knew about what Happy did for the club. I avoided eye contact with him and looked at the television until Kip got back. He looked more annoyed than when he had left but didn't speak a word.

For the next four days, I didn't see Happy but Kip stayed by my side at all times. Well, except when the nurses came in for physical exams or to change the catheter. I was finally able to whisper without it burning like white hot coals but I was easily exhausted and had started feeling more pain.

"If you tell them you're in pain they'll give you medicine, Kat." Kip was obviously tired and irritable. I had already told him I wasn't going to ask for extra medicine. "Why are you being so fucking stubborn? Just take the medicine."

"I don't like being sober, Kip. I'm not getting myself addicted to pain meds, if that's alright with you." I snapped, my voice had naturally gotten a little louder and it stung sharply. He threw his hands up.

"You have like five broken bones. You're not going to get addicted to the medicine." He was close to yelling. I took as deep of a breath as I could without causing myself any more pain. Kip watched me and scoffed. "See? You're a fucking idiot."

"Watch it." I looked over to see Happy standing in the doorway. He dropped a small bag beside me and then sat on the couch by the far wall. Kip looked from me to Happy. After he didn't say anything, I looked in the bag. I smiled and pulled out a piece of caramel. Kip watched me put the candy in my mouth before stepping away and closing the door.

"Why is he your emergency contact, Katerina?" I moved the sweet yet salty candy around in my mouth as Kip stared at me.

"We dated a while ago." I finally said. Happy grunted and Kip looked over at him. I rolled my eyes and swallowed my candy. "Fine, we lived together a couple years ago."

"What? You lived with him and never thought to tell me? How long were you together?" His voice was getting louder and I felt like shit for not telling him before. In my defense, I didn't think it would come up like it did.

"Stop yelling." Happy said flatly. Kip looked back at him. "We got together a couple months after she moved to Tacoma."

Kip took a few minutes to run the math through his head as I ate another piece of caramel; it was the first non-hospital food I'd had. Happy walked over and took a piece of candy out of the bag. I narrowed my eyes at him but he just popped it in his mouth and returned to the couch.

"Almost two years? You were together for almost two years and you never thought I might want to know that when I started talking to SAMCRO?" I blinked. That was what he was worried about? What the club would think or how it would affect his prospect year? I frowned as Happy stood up.

"Kid, she didn't even know you were going to prospect. I knew she had a brother who lived in California but that was it. This doesn't have shit to do with the club." Happy was wearing his kutte with full colors while Kip was wearing his prospect kutte. I knew that no matter how Kip felt about what he had learned, he had to toe a line with how he reacted.

"It doesn't have shit to do with the club? Why do you think someone would try to kill her?" I almost choked on my caramel. Happy snapped his fingers and took a step forward. It was obvious that this wasn't something I was supposed to hear. Happy's reaction told me he had gotten information from that license plate number I had given him.

"Happy?" I waited until he looked at me to continue. "Who did this, Happy? Why did they try to kill me?"

"Kat, don't ask me that. It's being taken care of and you're safe, ok? It's not going to happen again." His voice was low and full of venom. It was one of our oldest arguments. I would ask him about club business and he would shut me out. I would push him and the fight would pop off.

"She has a right to know, Happy." Kip spat. I knew that comment would get him in trouble later. It's not that I didn't want to know...well, part of me wanted to know. Part of me wanted to let myself believe what Happy had said and carry on with my life. I looked between them and could feel the tension in the air.

"Can someone please tell me something?" I didn't want to get between them but I also felt that it was important for me to know. Happy balled his fists. "Happy, please?"

"The club has been having issues with another club. On Monday someone dropped off a folder full of pictures." He seemed to get angrier with every word. Kip had his arms folded across his chest. "Some were of you leaving the prospect's house and the two of you walking into that doctor's office in Oakland. There were also pictures of Jax's girl Tara and my VP's pregnant wife."

"Mayans did this? You didn't feel like I needed to know that?" Kip snapped. Happy slowly tore his eyes off of me and stared Kip down.

"What are you not saying, Happy?" I felt tears building up in my eyes. This wasn't random. I was actually targeted. That didn't even happen when I was in Iraq. There was a tense moment of silence before Happy responded.

"You can take what you do and don't know up with your charter, prospect. Katerina, there were a couple pictures from when I came to see you during his damn ball surgery." I felt sick to my stomach. Happy stopped talking and looked from Kip to me. He shook his head. "I'm taking care of it, Kat. No one is even going to think about threatening you again."

"She's my sister. It's not your job to take care of it, Happy. You're not family." Kip said harshly. I swallowed hard, wishing I could get out of the bed and step between them. Happy pulled his shirt up and pointed to a tattoo on his stomach, just above his belt. There were several tattoos around it and most people would probably look it over. I felt my bottom lip start to tremble as I looked at the ink. "What? Is that supposed to mean something?"

"Kip, please stop." There were tears streaming down my face as both men turned to look at me. All of Happy's tense muscles relaxed and his eyes softened. I lost control of my body as it started to shake with sobs. Kip walked over and rubbed my back gently as Happy readjusted his shirt and kutte.

"Give us a minute, kid." Happy said quietly. I felt him standing by the side of the bed opposite of Kip. Pain shot through my body as I tried to pull myself together and stop crying. "Kip, please."

It was the first time I had ever heard Happy say please to anyone like that, let alone use my brother's real name. Kip's hand disappeared off my back before he stepped out of the room. I couldn't look at Happy. It would only make me cry harder. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and rested his head on my good shoulder. He didn't speak or try to get me to stop crying and speak to him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered after several minutes. I leaned my head to the side, just enough so that it barely touched him. I felt his breath shake a little. "After this, after you get out of here, let me try to fix us, Kat."

I knew that it wouldn't end well. We had been down that road before and there were things we never worked through that still seemed to affect us. We would eventually end up fighting and saying things we didn't mean. I would be stubborn and he would walk out during the middle of fights. Still, even knowing all the bad, I also remembered the happiness I felt back then. I remembered feeling more alive when I was with him; more alive than I had in years. I took a deep breath and sat up straight. Happy looked me in the eyes.

"When I get out of here, we can talk about it." I whispered. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, obviously not fully satisfied with the answer. Still, he nodded. The longer we looked at each other, the more tension I could feel. The scent of mint and tobacco filled my nose as my cheeks warmed. Happy's eyes fell to my lips. He looked into my eyes again and paused. I didn't move or say anything, worried that the moment would end. As soon as his lips touched mine, I knew I didn't have a chance. I was well on my way to being wrapped up in him again and the worst part was, I didn't even want to fight it.


	6. Chapter 6

The day after my final surgery, Tacoma had a big meeting that Happy, Kip and Juice all had to attend. Kip told me over and over that he wasn't going to go, that he didn't want to leave me alone in the hospital. He was worried that something was going to happen if I was left unprotected. Happy tried to convince him that I would be safe but Kip seemed to go against everything he said, no matter how true it was. He had been like that since the day he found out Happy and I had dated. I knew there was a limit to how long Happy would tolerate it. Finally, Juice said he would hack into the hospital's security cameras and I promised that I would call if anything happened. I took advantage of my alone time and asked for the hospital's financial assistance people to come talk to me.

"Forty-Thousand dollars?" I felt like I was going to be sick. "Is my insurance covering anything?"

"Ms. Epps, your insurance has already covered Seventy-One Thousand dollars." The woman handed me several pieces of papers. I scanned over the numbers and handed them back. I laid back in the bed and took a deep breath. "Did you have medical insurance as part of your auto policy?"

"I don't know. I had full coverage, that's all I know." I grumbled. I heard her sigh and my eyes flew open. She was closing her binder and standing up. "What? Is my fucking insurance ruining your life to?"

"No, ma'am. I just thought you may want some time. You seem frustrated." Her eyes were as wide as saucers. I rolled my eyes.

"Frustrated? No, I feel awesome knowing that I owe forty-thousand dollars in medical bills. It's something I always wanted to do." I balled my fist tightly and slammed it onto the mattress. "Seriously, it would have been a hell of a lot cheaper if they'd just let me die."

"Ms. Epps, don't say that. The hospital understands that medical bills can be a heavy burden. This is just where we stand right now. With the information you've provided me, I am going to speak to billing and see what we can do to lower that number. How does that sound?" She was obviously scrambling for an excuse to get out of the room.

"Peachy." I scoffed. She frowned as she hurried out of the room with her binder and bag. My phone started vibrating on the bed side table. It was Happy.

"What?" I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I could hear motorcycles in the background.

"Your brother and Juice are headed back to Seattle. What's wrong?" He asked. I tried not to care that he wasn't coming back with Kip and Juice. He had spent the better part of three weeks at the hospital. I knew he had commitments to the club that he would need to eventually take care of. Still, my bad mood had me feeling jealous.

"Don't worry about it." I almost regretted the snap to my voice. "Is that all you needed or was there something else?"

"Kat, don't pull that shit. What has you pissed off?" Happy tried to keep his voice calm but I could tell he was irritated. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea, but I ended the call without another word. After about thirty seconds, the phone started vibrating again. I stared at the screen, considering whether or not to answer it. Four or five rings in, I swiped my finger across the screen. I didn't say anything, not that he would have heard me.

"What the fuck? Do not hang up on me again, Katerina. I've been patient as fuck with your brother. I don't have any more damn patience to spread around. Tell me what your fucking problem is." I waited until he was done yelling to breathe again. With tears running down my cheeks, I considered hanging up on him again. I didn't want to tell him about my problems. I didn't want to tell him that I was less than broke with no home to go to after I was discharged.

"I just talked to the financial assistance person." I fought to keep my tears out of my voice. To burn the tears away, I stared up at the lights, refusing to blink. "I owe them close to forty grand that I don't have."

"Why didn't you just tell me that, Kat?" Happy sighed and all of the background noise on his end stopped. My bottom lip quivered. "Talk to me."

"I don't have that kind of money, Happy. Fuck, I don't even have a job or a place to live. How am I supposed to pay for this?" I had started crying again, despite my best efforts to keep it together.

"Hey, don't cry on me. We'll figure it out. I've got some money put back." I grabbed a fist full of sheets and considered throwing the phone across the room.

"I'm not taking your money, Happy. Forget about it. I'll figure it out." I heard a crash on the other end of the call.

"Why are you always so fucking stubborn, Kat? Huh?" I closed my eyes, waiting for him to continue. When he didn't say anything else, I pulled my phone away from my ear to make sure he had not hung up on me.

"What did you break?" I asked quietly, hoping for at least a momentary change of subject.

"A beer bottle." He grumbled. I nodded and looked over at the clock. It was barely after one in the afternoon. The meeting must have gone badly. It wasn't like Happy to keep bottles laying around in his room. "Will you let me help you for once?"

"I've never wanted a man to support me, Happy. Not even you." I wished we could have kept talking about beer bottles. "What good am I if I can't take care of myself?"

"I'm not trying to support you, Kat." I rolled my eyes. "Letting people help you don't mean you failed."

"You're not people though, Hap. You're someone that I care about; someone that has an opinion that matters." The nurse stepped in and took one look at me before stepping back out. I knew she'd be back shortly.

"So, what? You think that if my girl let me help her that I'd think less of her? Fuck, Kat. If you would have-" I sat up straight, shaking my head despite Happy not being able to see me.

"Don't. That has nothing to do with this, Happy." I paused. "Billing might be writing off some of the costs. If I still need help then I'll let you loan me some money, okay?"

"Okay, Kat." He sounded skeptical. "I've got to get ready for a run. I'll text or call you later."

"Okay." I swallowed hard. "Happy? Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Katerina. Just don't hang up on me again." He said. I laughed and said goodbye as the nurse walked in. She checked my chart and the monitors before looking me over.

"Talking to the angry one?" She had a nickname for everybody. I nodded and took a deep breath as she listened to my chest. "He must love you."

"Why?" I blinked, wondering why she would say that. She laughed and moved her stethoscope to my back.

"Take a deep breath." I did as she asked. "If he didn't love you, he wouldn't put up with your moody ass. When did the doctor say you get to leave?

"As long as nothing happens, Sunday." She hung the stethoscope back around her neck and took a step back. "I'm not moody."

"And I'm Lady Gaga." With that, she jotted a few things in my chart and left the room. I pushed my fingers into my hair and leaned back. She didn't know what she was talking about. I wasn't moody. I was stressed and going stir crazy from being in a hospital for almost a month. Happy didn't love me anymore, if he ever did. Sure, he cared and he'd said he loved me when I was still in somewhat of a coma but he was just scared. I shook my head. She didn't know Happy like I did.

Three days later, I was awaiting my discharge papers from the doctor. I would be in a wheel chair for a couple weeks until I could start using crutches but I was out of the woods and wouldn't need another surgery in the foreseeable future. I was itching to get out of the hospital. Unfortunately, there was a huge argument about where I was going after I left.

"She's coming to stay with me in Charming." Kip snapped at Happy. The argument had been going on for almost an hour before Kip finally put his foot down. Happy glared at him.

"You forget to ask her?" Happy growled. I rolled my eyes as both of them looked at me. Kip was breathing heavily. I could tell he wanted nothing more than to clock Happy.

"Oh. You two remembered I was here?" I pursed my lips and looked from my brother to the man that I had an extremely complicated history with. "At this point I'd rather take my chances at a women's shelter."

"That's not funny." Kip threw himself down into a chair and leaned his head back. Happy didn't react. He knew I was being difficult in attempts get the attention off of me. "Charming has a good hospital and we know a doctor, okay?"

"She's a kid surgeon, idiot." Happy said flatly. Kip opened his eyes and glared at Happy.

"Seriously, Kat. You were with him for two years? I want to kill him after a fucking month." Happy flipped him a middle finger before pulling his kutte open to flash one of the two Glocks he always had on him.

"Would you two stop?" I swallowed hard, preparing myself for the fallout. "I'm going to Charming."

"You're what?" I felt my cheeks turning red as Happy rounded on me. "Why?"

"Happy, I can't go to Tacoma. You're always on the road and I don't think living together would help us working anything out. It's temporary." I glanced over at Kip who seemed just as surprised as Happy.

"You're going to be there for at least six months, Kat. There probably won't be anything to fucking work out by the time you can leave." Happy said. I frowned and watched as he left the room. It wasn't the first time I had watched him leave. Kip stood up and walked over to the door.

"He's probably just mad. He'll chill out." Kip offered. I shook my head. I knew he was angry but I also knew that he was hurt. It took him a lot longer to get over being hurt than angry. Still, what I said was true. There would be times that I needed help and he was on the road a lot more than Kip. I wasn't entirely happy with my decision but it was the only option that made sense.

I watched the trees passing by as Kip drove the rental truck down the highway. Leaving Seattle was hard, not just because of how it left things with Happy and I but because I was leaving my independence behind. We still had hours to go before we reached Charming and my leg was starting to ache.

"Can we pull over at a service station or something? I need to stretch and get something to drink." Kip looked over and nodded. He hadn't spoken much since we left Emily's storage locker. "What are you thinking about?"

"Cherry." Kip answered quickly. I frowned, unsure of how to respond to that. "Why didn't you tell me about Happy, Kat? You're my sister and I didn't even know you were living with a guy."

"I don't know. It never came up. When you started talking to SAMCRO, I was living in Seattle with no plans on spending time in Charming. You sounded so excited about the club. I didn't want to worry you about some guy I used to date two states away." I shrugged and continued to look out the window.

"What happened between you two?" I looked over at Kip and frowned. It wasn't something that I liked to talk about. "Come on, Kat. You know everything that happened with me and Cherry."

"You know how the club is, Kip. He was on the road more and I couldn't trust him. Eventually it got to the point that we were fighting a lot more than we weren't. I guess he'd had enough one day and he left. I hung around Tacoma for a couple weeks before I left for Seattle." Kip pulled off the highway and stopped the truck. "Anyways, I didn't see him again until I came to see you in Charming."

Kip helped me out of the truck and into the wheelchair. I couldn't wait until I got onto crutches and back to doing things by myself. As my arm was still in a cast, I couldn't even wheel myself around. When we got inside the store, Kip rammed my foot into a rack of potato chips.

"Ow!" It felt like someone had hammered a nail into my heel. He pulled the chair back quickly, apologizing profusely. I groaned. It was going to be a long six months or so. He loaded up the counter with several bags of chips, sodas and packs of cigarettes. "Can you wheel me to the restroom?"

"Uh. Yeah." Kip paid and took the bags of snacks before pushing me down to the ladies' room. "Do you need me to-"

"No. Just open the door. I'll manage." He rushed to the door and pulled it open. I used my right hand to push the wheel forward and then reached over and pushed the other to try and keep it rolling straight. Forcing myself out of the chair hurt everywhere. It took all I had just to get myself onto the toilet.

"Kat? You okay?" Kip tapped on the door after a few minutes. I was struggling to get my shorts back onto my waist. "Kat?"

"Just give me a minute!" I snapped. I was so embarrassed. I pushed myself off the toilet sit and just barely missed the wheelchair. "Fuck."

Kip burst into the small bathroom to find me laying in the floor. At least I had gotten my shorts pulled up. He hoisted me back into the wheelchair as angry tears streamed down my cheeks. We didn't speak the rest of the way to Charming. Kip would look over at me every so often but it was obvious I didn't want to talk.

"Why did you do this?" I hated seeing the wheelchair ramp leading up to Kip's front door. He ignored my question and wheeled me into the house. He left me sitting in the living room and went back outside. A few minutes later, he returned with the bags that I had stored in Emily's building. "Can you not just park me and leave me?"

"Look, I get that you're pissed about what happened and I know you hurt because you won't take medicine but stop being a bitch to me. I'm trying to help you, okay?" Kip slammed the door and tossed the bags on the floor. "If you want to do everything yourself then, there."

"Seriously?" I looked at the bags and then back at Kip. He had his arms folded across his chest. I locked the wheels. "Fine."

Kip watched as I forced myself onto my good leg. I felt wobbly and my pain increased from about a six to a nine. Instead of giving up and sitting back down, I leaned over and tried to pick up a duffle bag. The weight threw my balance off and sent me down to my ass. When I tried to pick myself back up, Kip offered me a hand.

"Are you done?" He asked. I took his hand, my pride bruised more than my tailbone. "I didn't like asking for help either but you're going to have to get over it. If you keep doing shit like this, you're going to need another surgery and you'll never get back on your own two feet."

For the next two weeks, I needed Kip's help with almost everything. He had to wrap my casts when I wanted to take a shower, make my food, help me out of bed. I could barely even blow my nose without him. Some of the old ladies from SAMCRO brought over casserole dishes and offered to help clean. They were kind and seemed to genuinely care. I wished the same could be said for Happy. I had tried to call him a couple times and sent several text messages. It was complete radio silence from his end.

"Hey, hey! Look at you!" Kip said as I hobbled into the living room. I had been getting out of the wheelchair more and working on my crutches. My endurance still wasn't close to what it used to be so it took a lot of energy just to get around the house. It felt good to have a little more mobility though.

"Yeah. I'm ready for a marathon." I was able to give him half of a laugh. He closed the front door and set a bag of food on the kitchen table. "Is that Thai food?"

"It might be." Kip smiled. I made my way to the table and took a seat. Kip kissed the top of my head and turned back towards the door.

"You aren't eating?" I asked, pulling a container out of the bag. He shook his head with a boyish smile.

"Nah, I figured you're probably tired of eating with me every night. Thought you might want some new company." He nodded towards the door. Happy was standing there with his helmet in his hand. I couldn't keep myself from smiling. "I'll see you later. Maybe tomorrow. Please let me know if I need to stay at the clubhouse. I don't want to walk in on any freaky cripple sex."

"Fuck off." Happy said with a smirk. I laughed and squeezed Kip's hand before he left. He and Happy shared a quick hug on his way out. Happy lingered in the living room for a minute before he joined me at the table. "Hey."

"Hi." I didn't want to push my luck by saying anything else. He finished emptying the bag and then sat down in the chair to my left. I smiled and settled in for the first meal that I'd shared with him in years.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for all of your review, follows and likes. It is very motivating since I haven't written in so long. Please continue letting me know what you think! BTW Adult content ahead.**

Happy and I ate our entire meal without speaking. At first, I worried that he wasn't eating with me by choice. I thought that maybe he wasn't saying anything because he didn't want to be there. After we exchanged a few looks, that fear started to subside. He seemed relaxed and it started rubbing off on me. By the end of my pad Thai, I decided that he hadn't said anything because I hadn't said anything. It was just Happy. He wasn't the biggest conversationalist.

"How long are you in Charming for?" I was slowly making my way to the couch as he tossed our empty containers into the garbage. He was already sitting down by the time I turned around to lower myself onto the seat.

"Not sure yet. How do you feel?" I wished he would have given me a better answer but I had to assume he honestly didn't know.

"I'm getting close to okay. It only hurts at night and I've been able to start getting around on my crutches." I slid my fingers under the cast on my leg and scratched. Happy leaned back and seemed to be watching me. "What?"

"Nothing." He was still watching me when I leaned back and looked over at him. He was wearing a black t-shirt underneath his kutte and it made his eyes look even darker than usual. I felt myself longing to be closer to him.

"I called you a couple times." He nodded. I wasn't sure how to take that. "Why didn't you call me back or respond to any messages?"

"I was pissed at you for leaving." He didn't even try to soften the blow. I frowned. "What? I'm here now."

"Yeah, you are." I agreed. When we had been together before, I had a bad habit of focusing on the negative. I was willing to try and change if he would to. He brushed his fingertips over my shoulders before wrapping them in a loose strand of hair. I smiled as he took the clip out of my hair, sending it falling down past my shoulders. "Are you trying to start something?"

"There's no trying, girl." He moved quickly. Happy pulled me towards him and then pushed my back down onto the couch. He followed me, hovering over my body as I carefully lifted my leg up. My heart was racing. "You sure are breathing heavy."

"Maybe I'm just tired." He smirked and acted like he was going to leave the couch. I caught him by the front of the kutte. "I said maybe."

"Maybe?" He growled. I gave him a small nod. Happy shook his head and dipped his head down, kissing my neck. I bit my bottom lip to keep from expressing just how good that felt. He lowered his body so his clothes were just barely touching me and then kissed the other side of my neck. It had been an embarrassingly long time since a man had touched me like that and no one had ever made me feel like he did. "If you're tired, I'll stop."

"No." My voice betrayed me and the simple word came out as more of a plea than a demand like I had intended. He placed his mouth just above mine and smiled. I moved to close the distance, only to have him pull back. "Don't tease me, Happy."

"It's been a while, Kat. Just taking my time." His eyes scanned my face before he finally kissed my lips. I moaned, begging him to deepen the kiss. I knew he would pull back if I made a move. He knew how to drive me to the edge and keep me there. I felt his lips part and matched him quickly. He laid down on top of me, careful to keep weight on his knee that was on the couch. I don't even know that I could have felt pain in that moment. Everything I felt in that moment was heat and bliss. I felt his phone vibrate against my upper thigh and bucked my hips reflexively. He chuckled and pulled back.

"Don't you dare answer that." I growled. He smirked, flipping the phone open. I would have slid out from under him and walked away if I wasn't pinned and two of my limbs weren't in hard casts.

"I'm busy." He shifted some of his wait to his hips as I tried to wiggle out from under him. Not only did he successfully keep me in place, he also let me feel how aroused he was. I bit my bottom lip reflexively. "No, I'll be there tomorrow."

"Get off the phone." I mouthed silently. I didn't know who was on the other end of the call, so I didn't want to let them hear me. If it was his President, Lee, he would catch shit for rushing off the phone for a woman. He ended the call and stepped off the couch simultaneously. I was about to pout, until he scooped me up into his arms. I giggled nervously and wrapped my arms around his neck. "The second door on the right."

He pushed the door open with his foot and carried me inside. When he put me down on the bed, I expected him to continue with what he had started on the couch. Instead, he opened his phone and started texting someone. I propped myself up on my elbows and glared at him.

"You getting impatient?" He asked, sliding the phone into the pocket of his kutte. I nodded and watched him shrug the leather off of his shoulders. Then he untied his boots so slowly it was almost painful to watch. I groaned. "What do you want, Katerina?"

"I want you to hurry up and fuck me." I said, locking eyes with him. He pulled his boots off and stepped over to the bed. I took a deep breath as he pulled his shirt off. He had a few new tattoos but he hadn't lost any definition to his stomach or chest. I vividly remembered what it felt like to run my hands over his muscled body. He stood at the end of the bed, just watching me. "Happy. Please."

"Okay." His voice was even lower and huskier than usual. I knew that he was also wanting to hurry up and fuck me. He pulled my shorts off, taking care not to jerk my leg around. I whimpered, wishing he would have taken my panties off as well. He unbuckled his belt and took his jeans off quickly. I could see his underwear straining to contain him. My mouth went dry. "If it hurts, tell me."

"Why, so you get off quicker?" I smirked. He smiled dangerously and shook his head. "I'll let you know."

As Happy's lips collided with mine, my entire body got hotter and hotter. He unbuttoned my blouse and I arched my back, giving him access to my bra. It barely took him half a second to rid me of the offensive shirt and bra. His mouth found its way to the ring through my left nipple as his hand cupped my other breast. I bucked my hips, sending my stomach pressing into him and I felt him moan against my breast. He pulled away quickly and grabbed my panites.

"No, I-" It was too late. He ripped the fabric and pulled it out from under me, throwing the ruined panties off the bed somewhere. I took the opportunity to complain as he pushed his underwear off. "I liked those."

"Me to." He said. I tried to prepare myself as he rolled a condom on. He paused in front of my opening and kissed me roughly. I inhaled sharply as he entered me. Happy paused, letting my body readjust to him. When I kissed him back, he thrust into me again. Everything else in my head and probably in the world went silent. All I could hear was our heavy breathing. All I could feel was the fullness and the ecstasy of his body. All I could taste was the smoky mint of his lips and tongue. I reached my peak quickly and tightened my walls around him. He thrust one more, hard time and sank his teeth into my neck.

"I've fucking missed that." He panted, still inside of me. I could only nod, unable to form words. I was already sore and hurting but I barely even noticed. He left the bed and I watched him walk into the hallway. I had missed that and him, more than I even realized until that moment.

When he came back from the bathroom, I was trying to walk over to the dresser for new panties and a shirt. He cut me off and opened the top drawer. I sat back down on the bed and waited.

"Here." He handed me a lace thong and a camisole. I smirked and pulled them both on as he stepped back into his underwear. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No. I want a cigarette." I said, pointing to his kutte. He grabbed the cigarettes and a lighter before rejoining me on the bed. I laughed as he tore the cellophane wrapping off the pack. "Menthol? Did you think you were getting lucky?"

"Nah, I knew I was getting lucky. These were just a peace offering." He handed me the lighter and waited until I had taken a healthy inhale and exhale to continue. "I paid some towards your bills."

"Happy." I shook my head, wishing he would have waited a little longer to bring me down off the sex high. "How much is some?"

"All of it." He shrugged and took a long pull from his own cigarette. I balled my fist and hit him hard in the kidney. He coughed and blew out all of the smoke in large clouds. "Bitch."

"You paid twenty-six thousand dollars of my bills and don't mention that immediately?" I snapped. He smirked and took another long pull. "What's funny, asshole?"

"Technically they were our bills." I pulled back to hit him again but he caught my wrist. "Uh-uh that shit hurt."

"You don't get to pull the 'our' shit. Not after you left." I snapped. He patted my leg and nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you. I'll pay you back."

"No, you won't." He blew several smoke rings. There was no use arguing with him. I couldn't exactly ask the hospital to give the money back. I settled my head on his shoulder and listened to the sound of his cigarette burning. "Do you want me to sign those papers or do you want to try and work shit out?"

"You still have them?" I had sent him divorce papers four months after he'd left but had never heard anything from him. I didn't have the money to file for a contested divorce. I sat up and looked him in the eyes. He simply nodded. "Don't sign them, yet."

"Yes ma'am." He whispered, plucking my cigarette from my lips and putting it out in the ashtray on the nightstand. I found myself smiling as he kissed me deeply. I could feel that he was ready for round two.

"Your phone keeps ringing." I grumbled. Happy reached towards the nightstand, squishing me in the process. I sighed and rolled to my left side, pressing my forehead onto his chest. He kissed my hair before answering the phone.

"Yeah?" Happy's hand made its way back underneath the covers and started tracing my curves. I pressed my lips onto his chest. "I was going to head that way in an hour. Do you need me there sooner?"

"No." I whispered, taking his hand in mine and leading it down to my sore but wanting center. He smirked and took the invitation.

"Yeah, tell Gemma I'm bringing somebody with me. I gotta go." He closed the phone and tossed it into the floor as I continued stroking him. "Can you get on your knees?"

"Mhmm." I had to be careful and my cast made it a little unsexy to get into position but I doubted he would mind. He threw the covers off of us and dealt with the condom as I did as he asked. "Ow, babe."

"You want me to stop?" He growled into my ear as he slammed into me. He had twisted my hair around his hair and pulled it tight to keep me sitting almost straight up with my back against his chest. I shook my head no. I repositioned my hips, welcoming him further inside of me. He let go of my hair and placed his palm against the front of my throat, his other hand kept pressure on my hip to keep me in the position he seemed to like. His thrusts quickened before stopping suddenly. "Fuck, Katerina."

I slowly opened my eyes. He was disposing of the spent condom into the garbage can by the bed. As the pleasure of being with him still pulsed through my body, I couldn't help thinking about the condom. He turned to face me as he started getting dressed.

"What?" He asked, searching my face for some explanation for my frown. I forced a small smile and shook my head. "Shit works better when you don't keep me out."

"It's really bad timing. I'll ask you about it some other time." I knew the question would be eating at me until I got it out. He buckled his belt and walked over to the bed. I tried to turn my head away from him, but he caught my chin. His lips met mine softly, begging me to open up to him. I closed my eyes. "How many since you left?"

"Don't do that, girl. You know if it was one or a hundred that none of them would matter." He kissed me again, still holding my chin to keep me with him. "You don't have to worry about it now."

"Good." I kissed him, pushing the thought to the back of my mind. He smiled and turned away to continue getting dressed. I crawled off the bed and hobbled to the dresser. "Go to a clinic. You know I hate condoms."

"Yes ma'am." He smirked and popped me on the ass playfully. "You're going to Jax's with me tonight. His kid is coming home."

"Are you asking me or telling me?" I popped my head through my shirt and gave him a look.

"Asking and kidnapping you if you say no." He lit a cigarette and lifted his brow. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine but you have to go get my crutches out of the living room for me." I bargained. He didn't hesitate and left the room. I smiled, thinking to myself that things were going to be okay as long as I took it one day at a time. Happy returned with my crutches.

"I've got to take care of some stuff at the garage. I'll pick you up tonight." He gave me a quick kiss and shrugged his kutte on.

"I don't think I can ride bitch right now." I laughed and motioned towards the cast. He nodded but didn't hang around to explain how he was planning on getting me over to Jax's house. I made my way to the bathroom and started wrapping my casts so I could take a much-needed shower. I also needed to change the sheets if I didn't want the room to smell like sex for days.

Kip stopped by the house around lunch time. I offered to make him lunch but he brushed me off. I heard the shower start a couple minutes later. Was he mad because Happy had stayed the night? Had something happened at the garage or the clubhouse? I waited, hoping he would cool off during his shower.

"What's up?" I asked. He was towel drying his hair as he opened the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. My brows raised reflexively. "Day drinking and ignoring me. This ought to be good."

"It's club shit. Did Happy stay here last night?" He asked before taking a long drink. I nodded. "Good. I don't want you alone at night."

"Care to elaborate?" He shook his head. "Is it just me or everybody? I thought the Mayans were dealt with."

"They were and it's not just you. You're just the only one I worry about." He finished his beer and tossed the bottle in the garbage. "I've got to get back. What are you and Happy now?"

"A work in progress." I said. He nodded and pulled his kutte back on.

"If he hurts you again, I'll kill him." I laughed but Kip stopped in his tracks. "I'm serious, Kat. I don't care if he's a Son or not. You're my only twin."

"Hopefully you won't have to worry about it, Kip." He nodded and left. I heard his bike start up. "By the way we're technically married."

I wished there was a way I could actually tell him without hurting his feelings. It had been a heat of the moment decision when we thought he might go to prison for a job he'd done for the club. When the case fell apart, we still didn't tell anyone. SAMTAC had just lost a brother and the timing was just off. So, we kept it to ourselves. It didn't change much between us, besides some new argument material. After he left, I didn't even think about asking for a divorce until I saw some commercial about starting over. I had a lawyer draw up the papers and sent them off. After a couple months of radio silence from Happy, I gave up on the idea of getting divorced and tried to focus on healing from him leaving. All the while, I didn't tell Kip. I felt guilty for it but I didn't want him to know that I had failed in yet another relationship.


	8. Chapter 8

**Just a note about timeline. I'm taking some liberties with timing of events and what not, so don't feel like you're lost. Thanks again for reading!**

"Hey, you look good." Happy smiled and leaned against the door frame. I still couldn't wear jeans because of my leg, so I opted for a flowy maxi-dress. It was probably the fourth time I had worn a dress since graduating high school. I noticed he had ridden his bike over. Just as I was about to ask him if we were walking, he held up a set of keys. I recognized the lucky rabbit's foot that I had given Kip when he got his deployment orders.

"Wow, he trusts you with his sister and his truck?" I winked at Happy who was rolling his eyes. He carried my bag to the truck for me as I locked up, it wasn't something he would ever do in front of anyone else. I smiled as he opened the door for me and helped me up into the truck. I had about three more weeks before the doctor would consider letting me off the crutches and it felt like three months. "What has Kip worried about me?"

"Some business deals that aren't going to plan. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He said, backing the truck out of the driveway.

"That's not what I'm worried about." I knew Kip was a solid fighter and could hold his own on the range but street wars seemed more brutal than Iraq. Happy lifted my hand in his and kissed the back of it gently.

"You don't need to worry about him either." Happy gave my hand a squeeze before releasing it. I took a deep breath and nodded. He was right. Worrying was just paying for something that may never happen. "You've met Gemma, right?"

"Briefly. She seems like a typical old lady. Hard to get to know and a little bitchy." I watched him laugh as he nodded in agreement. "I've been around old ladies before, remember?"

"I seem to remember you breaking one of their noses." He pulled to the side of the street behind several familiar Harleys and a couple cars.

"She started that and it had nothing to do with her being an old lady." I said, defending my actions. Happy made a sarcastic noise and exited the truck. I knew he was just teasing me. He opened the passenger door for me and pulled my crutches out of the bed of the truck. "Careful, you don't want to look like too much of a gentleman in front of the guys."

"Shut up." He grumbled. I left my bag in the truck so I didn't have to struggle with it. Charming had a relatively low crime rate from what I had read and I seriously doubted someone would dream of breaking into a club member's truck. Happy waited until I got up the front steps before he knocked on the door. For some reason, seeing him knock on a door amused me. He was typically the type to let himself in, if not pick a lock and break in. "What are you smirking about?"

"Nothing." I said quietly. The door opened, so Happy didn't press me for a better answer. Tara welcomed us inside and gave me a hug. Happy gave my hand a squeeze before walking towards the sound of Jax and Chibs talking.

"Did I miss something?" Tara asked, looking from Happy to me. I laughed. If she only knew.

"It's a long story that goes back a few years." I said, following her into the kitchen where Gemma and Donna were busy making final touches. Donna gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as I hobbled out of the way.

"So, you're why Happy hasn't been hanging around the sweetbutts." Gemma said with a wicked smile. I laughed and offered her a shrug. Thing with him were so complicated when I tried to explain it to other people. She stepped away from the stove and gave me a quick hug. "Good for you."

"Thanks, Gemma." I felt my cheeks getting red. Happy entered the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator. He opened one and handed it to me before heading back into the dining room where most of the men were. Tara shook her head.

"That's something I thought I'd never see." She said with a laugh before carrying a plate of green beans to the table.

"Go get a seat, sweetheart." Gemma said as she followed Donna to the dining room. I had perfected carrying drinks with my crutches, so I was able to get to the table without much of an issue. Happy pulled a chair out for me and I made a point not to look at Tara or Gemma. They may have never seen that side of Happy but I had seen it often. When we visited his mother, she would always ask if he was being a gentleman like she raised him. She knew what he did with the club wasn't always legal and could look past it but she would have busted his balls if she thought he treated me with any disrespect.

"Thank you to everyone for coming. It has been a rough few months with this little guy in the hospital. I know we are all glad he's finally come home." Gemma said before taking a seat next to Clay. Jax was holding baby Abel and smiling down at him. Happy moved his hand to my thigh and gave it a little squeeze.

Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves throughout the dinner. I offered to help clean up but Gemma just gave me a look. I frowned, tired of being incapable of doing normal things throughout the day. Tara invited me into the living room where Opie's kids were playing a board game. She was holding Abel and talking to Donna about someone named Stahl. I listened for a few minutes, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

"Has anyone come to ask you about the club?" Donna asked, turning to look at me. My eyes widened.

"No. I don't think it's public knowledge that I have anything to do with the club. Since my wreck I've mostly been inside Kip's house." I felt Happy's hands on my shoulders and looked up.

"How long has this been going on?" Tara asked. She sounded eager to change the subject. I wasn't sure how to answer the question.

"Years apparently." Kip grumbled. I rolled my eyes and raised my middle finger at him.

"We were together for a while when I lived in Tacoma." I ignored Kip scoffing and continued, "I ran into him when I came down to visit Kip and now, we're here."

"Sounds like there's a lot you're skipping." Gemma chuckled. I shrugged, uncomfortable discussing our relationship with everyone.

"There's kids in the room." Happy said flatly. I laughed quietly, knowing he was deflecting. Kip pretended to gag. "We're going back to the clubhouse. Do you want to go home or come with?"

"I'll come with you." He nodded and walked around to the end of the couch to grab my crutches. As he helped me up, I could feel several pairs of eyes watching us. Happy either didn't notice or didn't care. I paused at the door and waved to the group of old ladies sitting on the couches. "Thanks for letting me crash the party."

"You're welcome any time, Kat." Gemma said. I smiled, relieved that she didn't dislike me. Tara had told me how hard it could be to get on her good side. Happy helped me up into the truck and waved to Chibs who was backing his bike out of the driveway.

"No broken noses. I'm proud." Happy said as he started the truck. I shook my head with distaste for his joke. "I've got to head out for a few days. You need to keep your head down, alright?"

"Because of Stahl?" I had gathered that she was some type of Fed but still wasn't sure what kind of trouble the club was in. Happy stiffened a little but answered with a confirming nod. "Is there a chance of you going inside?"

"Nah, she doesn't have anything that'll stick." He looked over at me and slowed the truck. "What if I did? You looking for that prison clause?"

"Don't be stupid. Remember what happened last time you faced some time?" I glared at him in disbelief. "I probably wouldn't look into moving back to Washington though."

"May not need to." He turned on his blinker and turned onto the road that the garage was on. I must have looked worried. "Ain't nothing bad, just looking at transferring."

"Why?" I asked, searching his face for some clue as to why he would transfer out of the charter he started with.

"Club business." He said shortly. I shook my head and looked out of the window. I hated when I was shut out with that simple phrase, 'club business'. He reached over and squeezed my thigh. "I've got my reasons, Kat."

"Okay, babe." I knew I wasn't going to get any further details on what his reasons were or what club business could require him to transfer. As he pulled onto the lot, I immediately felt insecure. There were several sweetbutts walking around in short shorts and cut off tops. Happy backed into a parking spot along the concrete wall and put the truck in park. As he closed the passenger door for me, I swallowed hard and grabbed his hand. "Kiss me."

He didn't question it or wait for a reason. Happy gently pushed me up against the truck and kissed me. I deepened the kiss almost immediately. It felt like I was back in high school, skipping class and making out in the parking lot. Happy pulled back and looked me in the eyes for a moment before peppering my neck with kisses. My hand was on the back of his neck, half holding him to me and half holding myself up.

"Hey! Come on! Not on my truck!" Kip yelled. Happy growled and pulled back. He didn't bother getting the crutches out of the back. Instead, he bent down and tossed me over his shoulder. I smacked his back but he just ignored me and held me steady with his hand on my ass. I gave up fighting him and just let him carry me into the clubhouse. "You're going to fuck her leg up if you drop her."

"She's a hundred pounds soaking wet. I'm not going to drop her." Happy walked over to the bar and set me down on a stool. He leaned in close and kissed my cheek. "I know what that was, girl. You don't have to worry about them."

"Okay." His short beard had tickled my neck as he whispered in my ear. He must have noticed because he nuzzled my neck once more before pulling back. A prospect I didn't recognize walked over and asked Happy what he wanted to drink. He was a larger man but seemed timid and nervous to approach him.

"What do you want?" He asked me. I gave him a mischievous smile. "She'll have tequila with a lime. Just get me a Coors."

Kip joined me at the bar when Happy went down the hall to the bathroom. He picked up my empty glass and raised his brow.

"How many have you had?" He asked. I held up four fingers and smiled. I could definitely feel the tequila in my system but I wasn't that drunk. "Are you staying here or going back to my house?"

"Dunno. That's up to the one that can drive." I said, pointing down the hall that Happy had gone down. I noticed a blonde sweetbutt walking down the same hall. Kip waved his hand in front of my face but I ignored him. I slid down off the stool and started towards the hallway.

"Kat! You don't even have your fucking crutches!" Kip yelled. He caught my elbow as I reached the beginning of the hall. I turned to tell him to leave me alone as Happy stepped out of the bathroom. The blonde was leaning up against the wall and making eyes at him. Happy shook his head but she pushed herself off the wall and ran her hand down his chest. Kip tried to catch my arm as I stepped away from him, "No, no, no, Kat!"

"Back off." I took the woman's wrist and pulled it off of Happy. She laughed and squared up to me. I could hear Kip telling her to step away.

"Sweetheart, I think you need to realize how things work around here. See, you obviously can't do some things for him right now." Her voice was fake and sickly sweet. I nodded and took a step towards her.

"You're right, I can't give him an STD. I also can't give him that hot dog down a hallway feeling that he'd get with you." She raised her hand and slapped me across the face. I laughed and licked my lip, tasting the metallic blood. Kip tried to lunge forward but Happy caught him by the back of his shirt. I grabbed a fist full of fake blonde hair with my bad arm and punched her square in the face with the other hand. She stumbled but tried to kick out at my cast. I still had a hold of her hair and slammed her face into the wood paneled wall. She fell to her knees and covered her face with her hands. I was about to pull her back up to her feet when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me away.

"Damnit, Kat." Kip pushed me back towards the bar and I lost my balance. Happy caught me just before I landed on my ass. He waited until I was safely seated at the bar to round on Kip.

"I don't give a fuck if she's your sister. Don't lay your hands on her like that." Happy shoved Kip back into a wall.

"You should have let me stop her before she got into some dumb fight. It's not like you didn't know she'd fight Annie." Kip yelled, shoving Happy back. He only managed to get him pushed back a step. I stood up and started over to them. I knew Kip was drunk.

"Hap. Let's just go to bed." I said, staying a few feet back. He looked back at me and looked like he was going to follow my suggestion.

"You shouldn't even be with my sister. She's too good for you." Kip spat. Happy looked back at him and cocked his head to the side a little. "She's not some croweater for you to fuck and throw away like you did last time."

"Kip! Stop!" I knew he was pissing Happy off by the way Happy's whole body had tensed. I stepped forward. "Happy, he's drunk. Just ignore him."

"Yeah, do as you're told." Kip laughed. I snapped at him to shut up again. "At least you didn't knock her up before you left."

Happy's patience snapped. He hit Kip with a solid right hook without hesitation. Kip spit blood onto the floor and pushed him back before returning the blow. Happy barely even moved. I had seen each of them fight multiple times and knew it wasn't going to end well if someone didn't stop them. Happy landed two more hits and dodged a left hook from Kip. He didn't see the right jab though and took it square in the face.

"Hey! Would you stop them?" I yelled at Chibs as he walked in. He and Juice rushed over and pulled Happy and Kip apart. Happy was breathing hard but didn't pull against Chibs. Kip, on the other hand, was doing his best to get away from Juice. He was already bleeding from the nose and mouth.

"Ay! Knock it off!" Chibs yelled at Kip. Happy picked up a cup of water off the bar and swished it in his mouth before spitting bloodied water back into the cup. Kip calmed down enough to stop fighting and stormed out of the bar. I tried to call after him but he ignored me.

Happy handed me another tequila. I looked back to see him holding a fresh beer bottle against his lip. He still looked pissed but I was more worried about Kip. Juice walked over and looked from Happy to me.

"You keep him calm and I'll go talk to Half-sack. He'll be fine. He's just drunk." Juice said. I took a deep breath, wishing I could have run after Kip and talked him down. I nodded and Juice set off after Kip.

"Sorry." Happy said so quietly I almost missed it. I closed my eyes and nodded. I knew they were both grown men and were both capable of taking care of themselves. Still, I hated to see them fight each other. "I wouldn't have hit him, but-"

"I know." I said quickly. I stood up and took Happy's hand. "Why don't you show me to your room?"

"Kat." I shook my head and looked up at him. I saw his adam's apple move up and down as he swallowed back whatever he was going to say. He sat the beer bottle on the bar and picked me up, refusing to let me keep walking on my leg. The dorm room he carried me into looked similar to those in Tacoma. There was a bed, desk, dresser and lamp. The walls were covered in bikini models and motorcycles. Happy sat me down on the bed before returning to the door to close and lock it. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine. I just don't like seeing you fight each other. You could both really hurt each other." I pulled my shoe off and stood up to take my dress off. Happy stepped over and helped pull it up over my head.

"I don't mean about the fight, Kat." He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head. My forehead was resting on his kutte.

"Not tonight, okay? We can talk about it when you get back." I dropped my hands to his belt and started undoing it. "I need you focused on taking care of shit and coming back whole."

"Always do, Kat." He let me go and shrugged off his kutte. "I'll take care of this. Lay down, babe."

I did as he asked and watched as he took his t-shirt, jeans, socks and boots off. He turned the lights off before joining me on the bed. His kiss tasted like blood but I was unsure if it was his or mine. He kissed me deeply but without the fever or rush that we normally shared. Happy was taking his time. I undid my bra and slipped my arms out of it for him. He took the invitation and trailed his lips down to my breasts.

"Don't." I grabbed his wrist as he reached for a condom. He paused and searched my eyes. "I trust you and I'm on the pill. Please."

He shimmied his underwear off as I pulled mine down to my knees. He carefully removed them the rest of the way. Happy kissed my inner thigh and ran his tongue up towards my center. I arched my back, welcoming his lips and tongue on my body. I savored every second of the pleasure he gave me with his mouth. It was something I had sorely missed about sex with him.

"Do you want me?" Happy had already set off one orgasm before even entering me. I nodded. "Say it."

"I want you, Happy. Please." I panted. He entered me slowly, taking his time and going as far as my body would allow. I grabbed fists full of the sheets and moaned softly.

"You feel so good, Katerina." I lifted my hips a little and felt him go even further. He explored my body with his hands as he quickened his thrusts little by little. "Fucking beautiful."

"Happy, please." I moaned, so close to reaching my climax. He pushed my hips back down and laid his chest on mine. The new angle hit exactly where I need it to. His lips took possession of mine as our bodies found their releases together. He rested his forehead on mine for a few seconds before pulling out. I watched him as he walked into the bathroom and then exited with a damp washcloth. I cleaned myself off as he opened a duffle bag in the closet.

"Here." He handed me one of his t-shirts and my panties. I smiled and managed to get into both pieces of clothing without falling out of the bed. He put on fresh underwear before sitting on the end of the bed. "I want things to work this time, Kat."

"I know. I do to." I covered myself up with the sheets and blanket. "Get in bed. You're leaving in the morning, aren't you?"

"Yeah." He rose to his feet and got into the bed with me. I snuggled up to his side and rested my head on his chest. "I'm sorry I left like I did."

"I appreciate that but we don't have to talk about it right now. You need to get some sleep." I whispered, kissing him gently. He rubbed his hand down my back and remained quiet until his breathing evened out. I laid awake, my mind racing. When Happy eventually rolled onto his side, I slipped out of bed. I knew that looking for pants or shorts would wake him, so instead I just wore his shirt. It was long enough to almost reach my knees and I doubted anyone would still be out in the bar area.

The clubhouse was eerily quiet. It was like a calm before a storm, not a peaceful quiet. I managed to walk into the kitchen before needing to stop and take a breath. My leg was aching and walking around was exhausting. I knew that had I woken Happy and asked him to get me a sandwich, he wouldn't have said no. However, he needed sleep and if I woke him up he may have wanted to talk again. I was screwing the kid back on the peanut butter jar when I heard a door slam. I froze.

"Kat!?" It was Kip. I pushed the door open and saw him looking around bewildered like. When he saw me, he rushed over and hugged me.

"Hey, let go. You're squishing my sandwich." I whined. Happy walked into the bar, fully dressed and shoving a gun into a holster. "What's going on?"

"Donna was shot and killed." Happy watched me intently as he spoke. "She was driving home after the party."

I didn't feel hungry anymore. What was with this club and the women connected to it being targeted? First my wreck and now a murder? What happened to being safe? There were never issues like that in Tacoma. There would be the occasional fight between the club and other MC's but it never came down to violence against the families.

"Prospect, stay with her." Happy's voice was much closer. I blinked rapidly and realized he was holding me just before he stepped back. "Don't leave here without me."

"Alright." Kip said. I slowly looked over at him. His lip was busted and he was starting to get a black eye. It was interesting to me that he and Happy had fought just a few hours ago and were already back to speaking. Granted, Donna's death outweighed what opinions they had of one another.

"Were the kids with her?" I remembered their smiling faces as they played a game during the party. Kip shook his head. "Good."

"Have you thought about going back to Tacoma or Seattle, Kat?" Kip helped me over to one of the couches and sat down across from me.

"I can't, Kip. I have no money, no job, no transportation." He shook his head and I stopped speaking.

"I'll help you. When you get out of your casts you can take the truck and go. You can go anywhere, Kat." He paused and swallows hard. "I don't want to see anything bad happen to you."

I didn't no how to respond. He was right about Charming not being safe but my attack happened in Seattle. If things were already spreading north, would leaving even help? If I left, I would be alone. I liked to think I could take care of myself but there would be no one watching my back.

"I can't go, Kip." I looked down at the ground. This wasn't how I wanted to tell him but if it was going to come out, it would probably be during this conversation.

"Why? Because of me?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Happy? Kat you were fine without him. Your life is worth more than some guy you're dating."

"I can't walk away when we are trying to fix things, Kip. I don't want to be like Mom and our father." I was trying so hard to keep from blurting it out. Kip rose from the couch and started pacing. "Happy and I are complicated, okay?"

"What the fuck does that even mean? You have an open relationship or some shit?" He stopped pacing and stared at me. "Just tell me, Katerina."

"We got married back in Tacoma." I flinched as he slammed his fists into the table he was standing by.

"You didn't tell me?" Kip yelled. I felt the tears starting to build up. He shoved a chair over and kicked it. "I thought we were family, Kat! You lied to me for years!"

"I'm sorry! It's not like we had some big wedding that you weren't a part of!" The tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"Oh well that makes a big damn difference. My only sister didn't have a big wedding so I didn't need to know she was married to a fucking hit man." Kip kicked the chair again and a leg went flying off. "Do you even know what he does for the club? How easily he could kill you and make you disappear?"

"Shut up, Kip. He's never hurt me or any other woman." I snapped. Kip scoffed and started laughing. "Why are you laughing?"

"Maybe you should ask your husband." He laughed again. "I'll be outside."


	9. Chapter 9

My head was pounding after yet another night of no sleep. Over the course of two weeks, I probably only slept for about eight hours. Kip and I were barely speaking, Happy was out on the road dealing with club business and I was getting restless. Luckily, it was finally time for both of my casts to come off. Despite Kip's anger towards me, he had driven me to the doctor's office before going on to the clubhouse for something. Recently, there was always something urgent; it seemed like the club was starting to crumble after Donna's death.

"Katerina?" A young nurse stepped into the waiting room and smiled as she held the door open. I carefully made my way down the hall, set on avoiding any further delays on getting the casts off. The nurse led me to the patient room and started checking my vitals. When she took the blood pressure cuff off, she twisted her mouth. "Your blood pressure is higher than usual. Have you been drinking more caffeine or changed any habits?"

"No." I had picked up smoking at least four cigarettes a day. Around the club those were rookie numbers but it was a lot for me. My sleeping habits were terrible and I rarely had an appetite. "Nothing has changed."

"Okay. Well, just make sure to get with your primary care doctor about it if it stays elevated." I nodded, despite having no intentions to follow her directions. She finished charting my information and then walked out of the room. To distract myself from waiting, I started reading the posters on the walls. There was one about bone density, one about smoking and a few about diet and exercise. It was a typical doctor's office and it didn't take long until I was out of posters to read. As I sat in the hard, plastic chair across from the examination table, I tried to ignore the feeling of the walls closing in.

"Hey. I'm surprised you answered." I leaned back and rested my head on the wall behind me. It had been almost impossible to get Happy on the phone recently. We had relied on text messaging here and there.

"Late night, I just woke up." Part of me felt guilty but he had probably slept more than I had. "You need something, girl?"

"Do you know when you might be back in Charming?" I refused to tell him that I needed him. I needed the version of him that I had always imagined in my mind, not the version that had been eating at my mind since the night Donna was murdered. He groaned and I wondered if I could sprain my eyes by rolling them too hard.

"Kat, I told you that I would tell you as soon as I knew. Maybe in a week or two." He didn't sound angry or irritated, just tired. Still, his tone bugged me. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. The doctor is coming in so I've got to go." I ended the call and dropped my phone in the bag by my feet. It vibrated a couple times before becoming still. My leg bounced nervously as the room started to feel smaller and smaller. As the walls closed in around me, it started getting darker and colder. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth, telling myself it wasn't real. Finally, there was a knock at the door. I took a deep breath, like coming up from air after swimming across a river.

"Katerina, you don't look that well." The doctor set a bag down on the exam table and stepped over to me quickly. I focused on breathing normally. "Do you feel lightheaded?"

"A little. I think there's a stomach bug going around. A friend was sick a couple nights ago." That friend was Juice and he had been close to black out drunk prior to getting sick. The doctor didn't look completely convinced but stepped back after a moment. "I just really want to get out of these casts."

"I know. Your last x-rays look good but after this long, you're going to have some atrophy in both your leg and arm." I nodded. It wasn't my first broken bone. He started unloading the leather bag and motioned for me to move to the exam table. I climbed up and scooted all the way back. The doctor laughed. "I'm sorry. It's just always funny to watch how awkward moving around on that darn thing can be."

"Yeah, I guess so." I faked a laugh, feeling embarrassed. He handed me hearing protection while plugging in the cast saw. I put the headphones on and leaned back. The heat radiated towards my skin as he started cutting the cast away. Within fifteen minutes, I was cast free. My leg was noticeably paler than my other leg and the skin on my arm was dry and itchy.

"Go ahead and try putting some weight on it." The doctor offered me a hand for balance. It was a slow, wobbly process but I managed to stand with equal weight on my feet. He nodded and had me walk over to the chair. I took a seat and let him finish him examination. He finally stepped back and nodded. "You need to take it slow but you're young. You will recover quickly. Unless you have any issues in the next few weeks, I don't see a need to make any follow-up appointments."

"Great. I appreciate it." I stood slowly and picked up my bag. The weight of it threw my balance off but I was able to stay up right. Every step I took felt uneven and wobbly but with time, I made it outside to a bench. Kip had said he would send someone to pick me up if he wasn't able to make it back but I didn't see any familiar vehicles. My hand quivered as I brought a fresh cigarette to my lips. A couple pulls of smoke later, my nerves evened out a bit.

"Well, look at you." I looked up from my phone to see Gemma stopped on the curb in front of me. When Kip had said he would send someone, Gemma was the second to last person I thought would be picking me up. "You don't have to put it out. Just get in."

"Thanks." I muttered around the cigarette. She nodded, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. I made sure to close the door gently. Instead of pulling off, Gemma twisted in her seat. "Thanks for the ride."

"You don't look good, sweetheart. Have you been eating anything?" I closed my eyes to keep her from seeing them roll.

"I eat every day. You don't have to worry about me, Gemma." I felt exposed as she watched me from the driver's seat. She pursed her lips.

"You've been in Charming for how long, Katerina? Four months? Five?" I nodded, she was close enough. Gemma continued without pause, "In that time I've seen you go from full of life to this. Did something happen between you and Happy?"

"No." I wanted to say that we were fine but the words wouldn't leave my mouth. She sighed and pointed at my chest.

"You're a terrible liar." She shifted the car into drive and drove towards the exit of the parking lot. How was I supposed to explain what was going on? Why did she even care? Her sunglasses were back down over her eyes but I could tell she was looking over at me every so often. I pretended not to notice. Gemma passed the turn for Kip's house and kept driving towards town. She pulled onto the TM lot and parked right in front of the garage. The lot was full but aside from two mechanics in the garage, there wasn't anyone else outside. "They've been in church for hours."

"Is it about Donna?" I noticed her glance away for a split second before she shook her head.

"Some gang banger from Oakland, I think." She shook her head and turned towards the garage. "You can come sit in the office but the clubhouse is probably more comfortable. You're welcome to help yourself in the kitchen."

"Thanks, Gemma." I rolled my eyes after we started walking in opposite directions. Stepping into the clubhouse, I could hear loud voices coming from behind the double doors. It didn't seem like things were going very well. Phil, the newer prospect, was standing behind the bar with a wet rag in his hand. I sat down on a stool a few feet away from him and watched as he stared in the direction of the voices. He didn't notice me for several minutes.

"Sorry!" He tossed the rag into the bucket that was kept behind the bar. "Are you thirsty?"

"No, I'm good. Have they been yelling the whole time?" I tilted my head towards the doors he'd been staring at. He nodded. My phone started ringing just as I was about to try and find out what they were arguing about. I answered it after debating for a few rings. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." I could hear motorcycles starting up in the background. "I'm headed down to Charming. I'll be in tonight if you want to stay at the clubhouse."

"You're giving me the option?" I felt myself smile despite everything that was going on in my head. He chuckled. "I'll see you tonight. Be careful."

"I will." He may have said something else but was drowned out by the motorcycles. The call ended as SAMCRO piled out into the bar. Kip walked over and told Phil to get him a beer. He sat on the stool beside me and laid his head on the bar.

"Rough day?" I asked casually. I knew he wouldn't reveal anything about what was going on with the club. He grunted. "Thanks for taking me to the doctor's office this morning."

"You're my sister." He downed almost half his beer before pulling the bottle away from his lips. "You don't have to thank me."

"Does that mean you're done being an ass?" I hated fighting with Kip. He finished the beer with a shrug. "I didn't tell you about Happy because I didn't want you to know I failed. Then you started talking to SAMCRO and I didn't want you to stop because of me."

"You've got to stop treating me like a kid. I don't care if you messed up, Kat. It might actually mean you're human." He smirked, teasing me with something from our childhood. Whenever he was mad at me, he'd tell me we weren't twins. He would say I was an alien experiment that fell off the ship one day. "Did you tell Happy what I said?"

"No." I dropped my eyes and stared at the bar. Kip didn't say anything, so we sat in silence for a while. "He's headed down so I don't need a ride."

"Yeah, I know. Do you want to grab some food?" I considered saying no, but I had only eaten half of a banana in the last twenty-four hours. "Anything but Mexican, please."

"Let's just go to the diner." I carefully slid off the stool and onto my feet. He hovered around me, seeming to worry that I was just going to topple over. "You aren't asking me to get food because you think I'm starving, are you?"

"No but you are skinny. Your pants are loose." I shook my head, wishing people would stop fussing over me. "Do you want to ride?"

"Oh." It hadn't occurred to me that I wasn't cage bound anymore. "Yeah, just don't pull any crazy shit."

"That's rich coming from you." He handed me the helmet. The rhythmic rumble of the bike beneath me felt familiar. I relaxed almost immediately. Kip was smooth on the throttle and kept to the speed limit for the short ride out to Charming's only diner. "Haven't seen you smile like that in a while."

"I've smiled." I slid into the booth and pushed the menu to the edge of the table. Kip shook his head but the waitress showed up before he could argue. We both ordered our usual meals.

"I know a good shrink if you're planning on staying in Charming." I looked up from the origami football I was making with the silverware wrapper. "You've been on the edge of an episode since Donna died, Kat."

"Probably." There was no point in trying to deny it. "I haven't been sleeping much. She was at the party with us, Kip. What, a couple hours before she was murdered? She was smiling and laughing with her kids."

"I know. They thought it was somebody and now they think it was somebody else. Opie is like a freaking caged animal." He sighed and offered the waitress a smile as she sat our food on the table.

"I don't blame him. Donna wasn't a soldier. She didn't wear the kutte but they still went for her. If I was Opie, I'd shoot first and forget asking questions." I stabbed my broccoli with the fork and realized my hunger had passed. Kip sat his fork down with a soft clink.

"You know you don't have to worry, right? I'm not going to let anything happen to you ever again. Happy won't either." I forced a smile and gave his hand a squeeze. I wasn't worried about my safety. I was worried about having to sit on the front row of a funeral and watch he or Happy being lowered into the ground. Kip finished his dinner quickly as I forced down half of my broccoli and a few bites of my other vegetables.

"I'm pretty tired. Do you mind taking me back to the clubhouse? I may actually be able to sleep some before Happy gets back." I wasn't looking forward to riding back and almost longed for the steadiness of his truck. Concern was written all over his face as he nodded. I pushed the plate of half eaten food away and slid out of the booth. "I'll be outside."

"Okay, Kat." Kip waved to the waitress for the check. I took a deep breath as soon as I was out of the diner. With my hands on my knees, I struggled to get a fill my lungs. Kip rushed outside, "Hey breathe, breathe."

"Trying." My chest felt like someone was sitting on it. I heard Kip groan as he started digging through his pockets. I smelled the weed as soon as he took the joint out of his kutte. I shook my head.

"You need to relax and this is better than taking some of the shit Juice could give you. It's not a pill." I managed to sit on his bike as my vision blurred. He lit the joint and offered it over. "Come on."

"Fine." I took a long drag and squeezed my eyes shut. My lungs immediately started to force the foreign smoke back up. I kept it in as long as I could before expelling the smoke in heavy coughs. My eyes stayed shut for a couple more minutes. When I finally risked opening them, I noticed the blur was gone and the world had slowed to its normal spinning speed. Kip offered me the joint again. I sighed and took another hit.

"Do you feel any better?" He asked as I inhaled. I nodded. "You know that's better for you than vodka, right?"

"Shut up." I groaned. I was exhausted, just like I always was after a panic attack. I moved to stand up and faltered. Kip caught me quickly. "Thanks."

"I can have Phil come pick you up in a cage." He offered. I shook my head. It was one thing for Kip to see me like this, weak, but I wasn't about to let anyone else. "Then let's go before you can't."

I held on to Kip's torso tightly as we rode back to the clubhouse. He took every turn smoothly and barely twisted the throttle. When he stopped in his spot amongst the other motorcycles, he offered me a hand. I pulled his helmet off my head and handed it over to him. If I focused on taking one step at a time, I could make it to the room Happy always claimed. Just one step at a time. Kip stuck right beside me. Luckily, there was a party starting to kick off so no one really noticed us walking through the bar.

"Do you want some water?" Kip asked after we'd made it inside the room. I nodded and collapsed onto the bed. I toed my shoes off and undid my belt and jeans. Kip returned with a glass of water and paused. "Uh. Should I help you?"

"No. I've got it." I would sleep in jeans before I agreed to have my brother help me out of them. He nodded and walked towards the door. "You can lock it. Happy has a key."

"Okay. Call me if you need something or you know, need to." He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to say to call him if I felt like hurting myself. I nodded. This wasn't that. I didn't feel like doing anything but sleeping. Once the door lock clicked, I shimmied out of my jeans and pulled my shirt over my head. Forcing myself off the bed, I took one of Happy's t-shirts out of the chest of drawers. I pulled it over my head just before sliding underneath the sheets and pulling the blanket up under my chin.

"Hey." It was Happy. Finally. I forced my eyes open and saw him pulling a pair of jeans on. I blinked, confused.

"Where are you going?" My mouth felt like a desert. I looked on the side table for the glass of water and noticed his rings, wallet and guns surrounding the glass. I blinked. "How long have you been here?"

"Since midnight." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "It's two in the afternoon. Thought you might be hungry. Your stomach has been growling."

"You should have woken me up." I sat the emptied glass back on the table. He shook his head.

"Your brother told me you haven't been sleeping and what happened at the diner." I groaned, wishing Kip wouldn't have worried Happy. He sat down on the bed and pushed several stray hairs off of my face. "Do you want food now or after you tell me what's got you wound up?"

"Now." I sighed. He had just gotten back to me. I didn't want to push him away by telling him what had been bothering me. I sat up and kissed his lips. As soon as my lips touched him, I felt of surge of heat and energy course through me. He deepened the kiss just long enough to make me think he had forgotten about the food. Then he pulled away. I groaned.

"Not going to happen until you eat and talk." He readjusted his jeans as he stood up. I watched him pull on a shirt and step into his boots, wishing he would just get back into bed. "I'll be back."

"Okay." I pushed the sheets and blanket off as he walked out of the room. I needed to use the bathroom and at least wash my face and brush my teeth. Looking at my bare legs as I sat on the toilet, I could see how much muscle I had lost in the cast. The skin was dry and in need of lotion but I knew looking through the bathroom drawers would be useless. I needed to remember to get some when I went to the grocery store.

Happy returned after about twenty minutes. He had two bags of food and a third, smaller bag. I had made the bed and was sitting cross legged on the end of it.

"Breakfast or lunch?" He asked, setting the bags on the desk.

"Pancakes." I knew what he would have brought me for breakfast. He handed me a bag and unpacked the second bag before sitting down in the recliner. We ate in silence. My stomach stopped churning after I finished off the last few bites. Happy was still eating his salad when I tossed the to-go container in the garbage can by the door. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, babe." He finished his salad and tossed the container in the trash before returning to the recliner. "Come here."

I was dreading this talk with him. He pulled me onto his lap and I felt myself start to relax a little. I draped my legs over the arm of the chair and laid my head on his shoulder. His right hand ran up and down my bare legs, thankfully I had borrowed his razor and shaved after brushing my teeth. I let the feeling of his body beneath me and his hands on my skin continue to calm me.

"I love you." I whispered. He turned his head to look at me and my eyes filled with tears. He stopped rubbing my legs and hugged me to his chest. I cried into the side of his neck until I ran out of tears. When my breathing evened, he loosened his hold on me.

"Still want to say nothing is wrong?" He searched my eyes as I shook my head. "Then talk, Kat."

"I know what you do or have done for the club." I paused as he furrowed his brow, "I know what the smiley faces are for."

"Yeah, you've known that." I nodded and he shook his head. "Keep going."

"The night Donna died." I swallowed hard, realizing I couldn't just come out and say that Kip had implied what had been bothering me for weeks. "When they were saying it was another club or something, I started wondering if you had ever had to."

"You just started wondering that?" I had let my sentence trail off and I could see the wheels turning in his head. He wasn't exactly scowling but I could tell he didn't believe me. "You know better than to think I'd ever hurt you, Kat. Where's this shit coming from?"

"Please don't be mad." I had felt him start to tense up. He took a deep breath and let it out extremely slowly. "I know you wouldn't hurt me, Happy. What about other women though? Is there a line?"

"A line, Kat?" He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. "The line is my family, Katerina. What was your line in Iraq?"

"Iraq? Happy, this is California. I don't see anyone waiting in the bushes to set off IED's. I'm not talking about war, Hap. I'm talking about you being a hired gun for a motorcycle club. How many are for kids?" He glared at me.

"None." He spat. I had a feeling he would have walked out of the room if I wasn't sitting on him. "If you had a problem with what I do you should have run years ago."

"Yeah? Like you ran?" I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. He scooped me up and jumped out of the recliner. Instead of tossing me off and leaving like I thought he would, he tossed me on the bed and started pacing. "I'm sorry."

"Why did you start thinking about it?" He asked gruffly. I took a deep breath. "Kat."

"I got into an argument with Kip. He found out we're married and he said you could kill me and make sure I was never found again. I said you would never hurt me or any other woman. He didn't seem to think that was right." I spoke quickly, knowing he was getting angrier with every word.

"Are you afraid of me, Kat?" He stopped pacing and stared into my eyes. I swallowed and shook my head. We had been through nasty, terrible fights and he had never even come close to harming me. "Before Donna was killed, Bobby got arrested for killing some politician or something from Oakland. There was a witness and they needed to be dealt with. We were waiting for the go ahead when Donna died."

"That was what you were going to deal with?" He nodded. I let him continue and started processing what he was saying. It was the first time he'd ever told me about any of the club's dealings.

"The witness was a woman." He paused and I watched his shoulders drop a little. "She was eighteen or nineteen, maybe. I would have taken care of it, Kat."

"Why didn't you?" I searched his eyes. He shrugged and sat down on the bed. "Did you think twice about it?"

"Maybe? I don't know, Kat. When I have a job, I don't think about who the person is. I do what I do to keep the club safe." He laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "Plans changed while we were there. Your brother shouldn't have said anything about it to you."

"You just did though." I kept my tone even, hoping he didn't think I was challenging him. He nodded and looked over at me.

"You're my old lady and wife. I get to do that." He said simply. I felt myself smiling, despite all of the heavy conversation we had just had. "Is that all that's been bothering you?"

"Yeah, I think so. It was just bad timing. You left before we had time to talk about it." I explained. He nodded and got off the bed. I watched him cross the room in a couple steps and grab the third, smaller bag that he had carried in. He pulled out a bottle of lotion and handed it to me.

"You just got your casts off. Figured you might need this." He didn't make a big deal out of it, but it meant the world to me. I popped the top open quickly and lathered my leg in the silky lotion. I could feel him watching me. "I love you to."

"I know." I smiled. He rolled his eyes and took the lotion. He set it on the side table before taking his shoes off. I scooted over to welcome him onto the bed with me. I realized that nothing had been resolved by our conversation. If anything, he confirmed the fear that I had been harboring for weeks. However, he was honest with me and he hadn't hurt a woman. He said that he would but I wasn't honestly sure.


	10. Chapter 10

"How's therapy?" Kip asked with a big smile. I had been going to see the therapist he'd recommended twice a week for over a month. She liked to talk more about my relationship with Happy and Kip than my time in Iraq. I wanted to tell her to fuck off and stop going but therapy wasn't cheap and it had taken a miracle to get the Veterans Administration to pay for it.

"I think she dresses like a pin-up girl and the office smells like vanilla." I wasn't in the mood to talk about therapy. Kip laughed. "Why are you in such a good mood?"

"Because, sis. This may be my last day as a prospect." He tossed a cheese cracker at me and hopped off the back of his truck. I knew he had been working hard for his top rocker so I let him be goofy. Personally, I wasn't thrilled with the direction the club was going. Things were starting to get more and more violent, which meant Happy was putting his neck out for the club more and more. We'd had a couple arguments about it. I was terrified that he would go back to prison because I knew he only had two strikes left with the state. Two more and he could go away for life. "You could smile."

"I could." I agreed. He shoved his hands in his back pockets and sighed. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" He asked innocently. I narrowed my eyes at him, unamused with his fake innocence. "Come on, Kat. I know something is wrong with-"

"With what? With me and Happy? With me?" I ground my teeth together and walked away. Happy had just pulled onto the lot and I didn't want to talk him or Kip. I tried to side step Happy but he caught my arm. "Let go."

"No," he said, pulling me into his arms. I tried to push away but he just held me tighter. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and stopped fighting him. "Prospect, tell Clay I'm going home for the day."

"What?" I blinked up at him. He nudged me towards the bike that he had just gotten off but remained silent. I sighed, pulling my helmet out of his saddle bag. Happy and I had rented a house when he officially transferred to Charming a few weeks before. It was nice to get out of Kip's hair but it made avoiding Happy difficult. He stayed off the accelerator on the ride over to our house. It was unlike him and it just reinforced my suspicion that something was wrong. "What are you doing?"

"Forcing you to talk to me." He hung his kutte on the coat rack by the door and stepped out of his boots. I dropped my bag on the hook beside his kutte. Our house was on the small side but it was plenty for the two of us. "Do you want to talk or do I have to pull it out of you?"

"What are you talking about?" I walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Happy followed me and leaned against the counter. I slammed the refrigerator closed and raised my hands at him.

"I took the trash out, Kat." He watched me closely for some type of reaction. I realized what he was trying to get me to talk about and turned away. "Come on, babe, talk to me. Stop pushing me away."

"It was negative, okay? There's nothing to talk to you about." I felt the tears start to stream down my face. Happy walked out of the kitchen and I heard a door slam. My tears started falling faster. A couple minutes later, he came back with an envelope in his hand. I bit my lip. "Are those the papers I sent you?"

"Papers? What the fuck, Kat. No they aren't fucking divorce papers." Happy closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I watched him open the envelope and suddenly, I realized what it was. "I'm sorry we never talked about her. I guess I told myself that if you needed to talk about it you would."

"Please, don't." I sobbed. Happy looked up at me and put the paper on the counter, face down. He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly as I cried. It was the first time I had ever let anyone see me cry over our daughter. No one knew about my miscarriage, no one except for the doctor and Happy. "I'm sorry."

"Don't. You didn't do anything wrong, Kat. I should have been there for you. I should have made you talk or something." Happy pressed a kiss on top of my head and hugged me tighter.

"I'm three weeks late." I wasn't sure if he was able to understand me, my forehead was pressed against his chest and I could barely even hear my own words. Happy stroked my back.

"Do you want me to take you to the doctor?" His voice was so soft, I looked up and noticed his eyes were glossy. I shook my head.

"No, can we just stay in bed all day?" I suddenly felt completely drained. Happy didn't answer, he just picked me up and carried me to our bedroom. I got undressed quickly and slipped into one of Happy's t-shirts. He joined me in the bed and let me curl up with my back against his chest. "I'm sorry I've been a bitch to you."

"It's okay, baby." He kissed my shoulder gently. I could tell he was thinking about something by the way his voice trailed off. I rolled over to face him. He seemed tired. I put my hand on his scruffy cheek. "If I had to choose between you and a kid, it will always be you, Kat."

"I know." I had no doubt that what he said was true. When we found out I was pregnant, he was pissed. He said he didn't want kids and that I should have taken the pill when I was supposed to. For the first week or two after the positive pregnancy test, we barely spoke. It wasn't until I forced him to come to the doctor's office for an ultrasound that he changed his mind. He finally stopped being angry once he saw the first ultrasound but it wasn't until we found out the gender that he was actually excited. I thought he was going to want a little boy but when we found out we were going to have a daughter, he was happier than I'd ever seen him before. When I miscarried at twenty-two weeks, I was in the hospital for a week. I lost a lot of blood and was touch and go for a couple days.

"Is Kip getting patched in today?" I asked, hoping to change the subject to something light. Happy shook his head.

"No," He sighed. "It will probably be Friday unless he fucks it up between now and-"

"Did you hear that?" I sat straight up. I had heard a loud thud, like a door closing or something hitting the outside of the house. Happy jumped out of bed and grabbed his Glock off the nightstand. The thud happened again, only this time it was followed by a scraping noise. I bit my lip and opened my nightstand drawer. My phone was in one hand and my gun in the other. Happy peeked out of the window.

"Call Jax." He said, racking a round into the chamber of his gun. My hands were shaking as I scrolled down my list of contacts to Jax's number. Happy stepped into the hall and I scrambled out of the bed.

"Happy told me to call you. I think there's someone outside." I whispered after Jax had answered the phone. He ended the call without a word. Happy was somewhere down the hall when the thud happened again. I stepped into my jeans, still holding onto my gun and the phone. If my house was about to be overrun with SAMCRO, I at least wanted to have pants on. I heard motorcycles in the distance before squealing tires right outside. Happy came back into the bedroom looking furious. He pulled his jeans and shirt on, slamming his gun back in his holster. "What was it?"

"Someone vandalized the house. Stay in here until I come in and get you." I blinked. Those thuds were someone vandalizing the house? With what? Who would be so dumb, so bold to do that with Happy home? I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and paced the room as I waited. Kip walked into the bedroom.

"Your bed is huge." He said, getting distracted by the unmade bed behind me. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What happened?" I set my gun back in the drawer of my nightstand. Kip rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Kip."

"There's some spray paint but we think they were trying to get somebody to come outside." He tried to catch me as I rushed past him but I was able to slip by. When I got outside, Phil and another prospect were already trying to clean the siding. Someone had spray painted the anarchy symbol in the center of a bullseye. It was stupid but the message was clear.

"Who did this?" I asked Happy. He didn't say anything. He just kept his arms crossed over his chest and stared at the house. I turned to Jax. "Jax?"

"I don't know, Kat. Could be Nordics or somebody new." He shrugged, obviously holding out on me. I pursed my lips.

"By someone new do you mean the freaks that opened the cigar shop in town? The League of American Nationalists?" I shrugged when Jax looked at me with wide eyes. "I'm not stupid."

"I know you aren't." Jax said. "Juice and Tig are trying to catch up with the van."

"Kat, go pack a bag. You're staying at the clubhouse." Happy said, still looking over my head at the house. I shook my head. "I'm not asking you."

"This is our house, Happy. I have guns and know how to protect myself." He finally looked at me with a scowl. "If you're that worried about it, make a prospect sleep on the couch. Better yet, you can stay here instead of chasing them down."

"What if you had been here alone? There were at least three of them." He growled.

"Then I would have called you or Kip, just like I called Jax." I stubbornly put my hands on my hips. "I've probably shot more people than you have."

"Oh you think so?" Happy challenged me. Jax cleared his throat but Happy and I were still scowling at each other in silent disagreement. "Fine, stay here tonight but I'm dealing with this."

"Fine but I'm getting a dog." I shot back. He blinked, opening his mouth and closing it without saying a word. "What?"

"Nothing. Just don't get a small rat or something." He grumbled. I smiled and rose up on my toes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He caught my chin and kissed me deeply. Kip groaned when Happy squeezed my butt.

"If you're not too busy, Juice and Tig found the van." Chibs said with a laugh. I stepped back from Happy with a nod.

"Be careful." I said, watching his expression change. He nodded and straightened his kutte. I stood in the driveway and watched as everyone left. To keep my mind off of what they were headed towards, I went inside and started looking online for a dog breeder. I knew we would have to talk about the miscarriage at some point but for now it was on the back burner.

I checked a few websites for breeders in California, but eventually I found myself searching for more information on L.O.A.N and Ethan Zobelle. The more information I found, the more I wanted. I started printing out what I found and sorted the information in stacks around me. I had information on their business ventures, members, governmental affiliations and several crimes that they were accused of. Interestingly, lawsuits and criminal charges against the businesses and members of L.O.A.N always disappeared.

"Shit! Put the gun down." Juice said, jumping back. He'd gotten into the house without me hearing him and had scared me when his shadow appeared in front of me. I took my earphones out and lowered the gun. "Good thing I wasn't trying to kill you. How did you not hear my bike or me knocking?"

"I had my music turned up." I turned my iPod towards him, showing him the Eminem song I was listening to. "Don't tell Happy about that shit. I'll never get to stay home by myself."

"What is all this?" Juice picked up one of the stacks of paper and started thumbing through the information. I set my laptop aside and climbed out of the floor. I looked around me, realizing I had gotten a little carried away. Juice let out a low whistle. "Shit. You've been busy."

"Yeah. I kind of went down a rabbit hole." I gave him a rundown of the information organization system I had devised. He still seemed a little shocked. "Anyways, I thought the club couldn't have too much intel on them."

"Trying to put me out of a job?" He laughed. I bit my lip. "I'm just kidding, Kat."

"They can't know I'm the one that looked all of this up. Just take it and add it to whatever you've already got." I smiled. He hesitated but eventually started gathering the papers up. "Wait. You and Tig found that van. What happened? Is everybody okay?"

"Yeah. Happy is, uh, talking to them." Juice was a terrible liar. I laughed and explained to him that I was pretty well versed in what my husband did for the club. "Yeah, he was eyeing a power drill when I left."

"I guess they shouldn't have made it personal." I shrugged. "Look, I'm starving. Do you want something to eat?"

Juice continued going through the information I'd found while I made some spaghetti. I offered to make him some meat sauce but he insisted that tomato sauce was fine. When we sat down at the table, he was studying the criminal charges against Zobelle. He looked up at me and raised his brow.

"How did you get this?" He held up a transcript of Zobelle's conversation with his lawyer after coming under the microscope for a murder. "They wouldn't have posted this online."

"So, before I went into the canine unit, I considered going into cyber intel. I was three weeks from graduating the program when my application for canine was accepted." I explained. Juice laughed and flourished the page.

"This is amazing. It may be something we can leverage. If you weren't already with Hap, I would kiss you." He laughed. I felt my cheeks blush and quickly stood up so he wouldn't notice.

Why did that happen? I walked into the kitchen and put my plate in the sink with a deep breath. Juice is good looking and had actually given me a compliment that didn't focus on my boobs or ass; it was just nice to have someone compliment my brain, I told myself. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved Happy and I never once considered cheating on him.

"You're overreacting." I hissed at myself. I was exhausted from dealing with the negative pregnancy test and the vandalism. Since seeing the therapist, I had come to realize that I had a tendency to over react and act irrationally when I was overwhelmed. When I finally walked out of the kitchen, I found Juice still sitting at the table pouring over the less than legal information I had obtained.

"I think this isn't supposed to be in here." He laughed, handing me a sheet I had printed out about adopting retired military dogs. I nodded and took the paper. "You didn't get to adopt your partner when you separated?"

"No. He was only three and one of the top bomb dogs in the country." I frowned and put the paper on the counter. "He actually died in the line of duty a couple years ago. The person I had trained was his handler."

"Shit. I'm sorry, Kat. I didn't know." Juice frowned. I swallowed hard, wishing I hadn't started talking about Rex. It was a known trigger.

"No one does." I admitted. I needed to get away from the conversation. I bit my bottom lip, racing through options for changing the subject. "Do you want a beer?"

"Sure." He smiled. "So, can you walk me through getting this transcript?"

"Yeah of course." Juice and I sat on the couch with the laptop between us as I showed him how I'd used a backdoor into the attorney's email server. We dove back into the server and looked for anything else that the club could tie to Zobelle.

"Hey." I rubbed my eyes and sat up. The living room was bright with the sun pouring in from the open blinds. Happy's jaw was tight. Juice and I had fallen asleep on the couch. The dead laptop was sitting on the coffee table with more than a dozen empty beer bottles. Juice stretched his arms out as he stood up. "There a reason you and my wife got drunk together?"

"Happy, it's not like that." I yawned. He scowled at me and then turned to Juice. He held up the papers and motioned towards me.

"She was showing me some hacking shit to get some dirt on Zobelle. Nothing happened." Juice laughed but it didn't seem that Happy found anything funny. "Bro, come on."

"If you don't get out of my house, I'll fucking shoot you." Happy growled. I shook my head at him, unsure of where his hostility was coming from. Juice sighed and left without another word. I started cleaning up the empty bottles as Happy glared at me. "Leave the fucking bottles, Kat."

"Why are you being an ass? Juice was trying to get information on L.O.A.N." I dropped the garbage bag and folded my arms. Happy shook his head.

"I don't care about the intel. He's got no business getting drunk, in our house, alone with you." I scoffed and his eyes flashed with a rage that was usually reserved for enemies of the club. "Don't push me. I haven't slept since yesterday morning and I came home to find my wife on the couch with my brother."

"Oh stop." I snapped. He balled his hands into fists. "What? Do you not trust me?"

"That's not the fucking point." His voice was growing louder. I laughed out of frustration.

"Yes, it is." I couldn't believe he was acting like I was someone that would cheat. "Go to bed if you are so tired."

"No. I'm not going to bed pissed off at you." He snapped. I shook my head and resumed cleaning. "How would you feel if I got drunk with Ima?"

"Really? Would you and Ima be hacking for hours to get intel for the club? I didn't realize she knew how to turn a computer on." I shoved past him on my way to the front door. He grabbed the garbage bag from me and stormed outside. I rolled my eyes and waited. He had always refused to let me take garbage out. A minute later, he slammed the door closed and stormed over to me. I was caught off guard when he threw me over his shoulder and carried me down the hall.

"You're mine." He growled. I moaned and arched my back, still recovering from my orgasm. Argument and make-up sex was always on a whole other level with Happy. He stopped thrusting and grabbed my chin. "I love you."

"I love you." I panted. He kissed me roughly and slowed things down until he found his own release. After another round and a quick shower, we climbed back into bed. Happy yawned, kissing my shoulder when his mouth closed.

"You can tell me what you found later." He whispered. I smiled and cuddled up next to him.


	11. Chapter 11

Happy leaned against the door jam as I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans in preparation for the party celebrating Kip becoming a fully patched member. The decision had been made when Kip had taken down one of Zobelle's men. He had run out of bullets and opted to tackle the guy instead of letting him get a shot off at Jax and Happy. According to Happy, he probably saved one of their lives. I was proud of my brother and excited to see him get the good news.

"Are you trying to impress somebody?" Happy was smirking when I looked back at him through the mirror. I walked over to him and swept my hair over my left shoulder so he could access the top hooks to my corset top.

"Only you. I'm wearing a jacket over it." A smile spread across my lips as he kissed my shoulder each time he fastened a hook. When he finished, I let my hair fall down my back. "I found a German Shepherd. He's eighteen months old and has basic obedience."

"But?" Happy waited. I bit my bottom lip and smiled at him. "How much is it, Kat?"

"He," I corrected him. Happy rolled his eyes. "He's free but I would have to go to San Antonio to pick him up. He might also have some behavior issues."

"We," He said. "What kind of behavior issues?"

"Well, he got kicked out of training for being too aggressive. They were going to euthanize him but I talked them into waiting. The lieutenant decided I can adopt him since I have experience with military canine."

"Do you think you can control him?" Happy seemed apprehensive. I laughed, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "There are kids at the clubhouse sometimes."

"Yeah, I know. I haven't met the dog but I know Rex was almost kicked out due to aggression." I shrugged. "There are a couple dogs I'm interested there so if this one doesn't seem like a good fit, it probably won't be a wasted trip."

"But you want the mean one," Happy laughed. I chuckled and told him I must have a type. "When do you want to go?"

"Monday? I know it's short notice but they won't hold him forever." I watched him rub the back of his neck uneasily. "Please?"

"I'll make it work." He grumbled. I threw my arms around his neck and jumped onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist. I kissed him roughly. "I can't be late to church."

"Then make it quick." I whispered, my lips brushing against his ear. He walked me over to the bed and I dropped down onto it.

Fifteen minutes later, I was climbing on the back of his bike. When we rolled up to a stop light, a black SUV pulled up beside us. Happy looked over locked eyes with the driver. I recognized him from the information I had dug up on L.O.A.N. The hairs on the back of my neck started standing on end. Happy couldn't run the light because of the cars in front of us. I noticed the back door starting to open and reflexively grabbed the Glock stowed in the back of Happy's waistband. The man took a step towards us and I turned, lining the sights up with his head. Happy revved the bike and I wrapped my free arm around him; a half second later he accelerated away from the light and started weaving through the traffic ahead of us. I kept his gun in my hand but tried to conceal it between us.

"I know you have your own gun." Happy said as we walked into the clubhouse. I shrugged.

"Yours was easier to get to." I explained. He shook his head, readjusting his holster that I had drawn out of. He gave me a quick kiss and then walked into the sacred room that would hold church in a few minutes. Tara smiled up at me as I walked behind the bar to get a drink.

"Everything okay?" She asked. I nodded and poured a double shot of whiskey. Her brow raised as I downed the drink.

"Ran into some of Zobelle's minions on the way here." I poured another drink and offered her a glass. She shook her head. "I don't think they expected me to point a gun at them."

"Probably not. I'm surprised they would go after you in the open like that." Tara frowned and seemed to have a lot on her mind. I heard cheers behind the heavy double doors and smiled. "I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm fine. My husband needs to learn to share his toys though." I laughed. Tara didn't seem to hear me but before I could ask her what she was thinking about, the guys started to walk into the main room. I smiled at Kip and rushed to give him a hug. He was wearing a brand new kutte that smelled strongly of leather. He hugged me tightly, leaning back and pulling me a couple inches off the floor.

"Congratulations." I said, planting a big kiss on his cheek. He dropped me with a laugh as Chibs joined us and handed Kip a beer. They started reminiscing about some of the ridiculous things he'd done as a prospect.

"Aye, it'll be a while before I sponsor another prospect. You made me go gray." Chibs teased. I enjoyed hearing some new stories along with some different points of view from stories Kip had told me before. Happy brought me a fresh glass of whiskey and told the story of the first time he met Kip.

"I just got off the road after nine hours and this kid asks me if I can help him unclog a fucking toilet." Happy laughed and pulled me closer to him. Kip rolled his eyes.

"Yeah and you threatened to drown me in the shit water." I laughed and gave Happy a little nudge with my elbow. He snapped his teeth at me.

"Enough sappy stories. This is a party." Tig said, waving a crow eater over and telling her to bring everyone shots. I finished my whiskey and excused myself to let the boys celebrate together for a while.

"Never ask Tig to tell you a story." I told Tara. She laughed and shook her head in agreement. She seemed a little more relaxed than she had before the party started up. I considered asking her what sh had been thinking about, but I didn't want to ruin her good mood. "Hey, where's Gemma been? I haven't seen her after her wreck."

"She's really sore," Tara said after hesitating for a moment. I asked Jessica to bring us a couple beers and turned back to Tara. "I think she's feeling better though."

"Yeah and I think you're a terrible liar," I told her. She sighed and let her shoulders fall forward. "It wasn't a car wreck, was it? What happened?"

"She wants people to think it was a car wreck, Kat. I can't break her confidence." She frowned and looked genuinely apologetic. I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"Did Clay hurt her?" I whispered. Tara shook her head quickly. I sat up. "Whatever happened, she needs to come clean before everyone finds out. You know how small towns are."

Tara didn't respond before Jax came up and draped his arms over her shoulders. I took my glass and stepped away, giving them some space. Gemma avoiding the party and nursing her wounds didn't add up, at least not with a car wreck. She was tough, tougher than a lot of women I knew. Was it her age? I would never admit to considering that a factor but what else could it be?

"What are you thinking about?" Kip asked. He sat down beside me on the picnic table with a grin. I took a deep, shoulder raising breath and shook my head.

"I'm just getting some air," It was mostly true. Kip looked like he might question me further, so I changed the subject. "I think we found a dog."

"We?" He laughed. I rolled my eyes and told him about the dog in San Antonio. He looked a little uneasy. "What if it hurt you?"

"Then it wouldn't be the first time a dog bit me. It happens with military dogs sometimes." I noticed that he wasn't reassured. "He looks sweet, I'll be fine."

"Only you would say that dog looks sweet. Remember that pit bull you tried to keep when we were little?"

"Fluffy? He was a sweetheart." I remembered the red nose pit fondly. Kip and I found him hiding behind some garbage cans when we were about eight years old. Fluffy was scared. He snapped and growled, which sent Kip running down the street. I sat on the ground a couple yards away and just waited. After about an hour, and well past dinner time, Fluffy came out and started sniffing me. I visited him every day for a week before he finally let me touch him. After that, he realized he could trust me.

"You didn't eat lunch for what, a month?" Kip shook his head. He was right; for over a month I saved my packed lunch and gave it to Fluffy every day. Eventually, our mother found out and she was livid. She called animal control and they took him away. Mom tried to tell me that a nice family would adopt him. Unfortunately, I wasn't a naive child.

"I miss Fluffy." I sighed. Kip laughed until the doors of the clubhouse flew open. I jumped up. Tig and Opie crashed out of the clubhouse and onto the concrete. Kip pulled me away from them as Opie punched Tig over and over.

"Hey, knock it off!" Clay bellowed, rushing out. Opie stood up and drew his pistol, pointing it right at Clay. "Ope. Calm down."

"Calm down?! She was my wife! Don't tell me to calm down!" Opie yelled. I stepped back, distancing myself from the fight even further. I noticed Happy standing a foot or two behind Clay. He was watching Opie carefully with his hand on the Glock holstered in his waistband. "Why?!"

"Opie, brother," Clay took a step forward and Opie fired. Clay fell back as Happy lunged for Opie. I covered my mouth, just knowing that he was going to get shot. Opie dodged him. He rushed past me and got on his bike. He flew out of the parking lot, narrowly missing a couple croweaters that were standing by the gate.

"Happy." I grabbed his arm as he walked up to me. "Did they"

"I don't know, Kat." He shook his head and pulled me into a hug. I bit my lip. My mind was racing. Had Clay and Tig killed Donna? Why? "Hey, don't panic. I'm taking you home."

"Okay." I nodded nervously. He kissed the top of my head and led me to his motorcycle. I climbed on behind him, barely aware of anything going on around me. We got home and I started feeling a panic attack coming on.

"Hey, I'll stay with her." Kip said. I hadn't realized he followed us home. Happy hesitated. "Go. I'll call you if I need to."

Happy pulled me over and kissed me deeply. I barely felt it. He promised he would be back soon and turned to leave. I caught his arm.

"Please, Hap." I felt my lip start to tremble. "Please don't kill him. Listen to him. He wouldn't do this for no reason."

"I'm not trying to hurt him, Kat. We're trying to save him." Happy brushed his lips against my cheek and left. Kip closed the front door and turned to face me. I recoiled when he tried to hug me.

"She's okay." I heard Kip say. I was lying in the bed, on Happy's side. My mind had raced for a long time before shutting down. I felt paralyzed, both mentally and physically. I wasn't even sure how much time had passed. "Yeah, I'll wait until you get here. She's in bed but she's awake."

Kip looked in on me a couple more times before I heard Happy's bike. I heard them talking in the living room but couldn't understand what they were saying. Happy walked into the bedroom and pulled his clothes off. I wondered if they were covered in blood. If they were, whose? He crawled into bed behind me and wrapped his arms around my chest. I scooted back, wanting nothing more than to be as close to him as possible.

The day after the party, Happy was busy with the fallout from Clay being shot. He made sure I was never alone. If he wasn't home, Kip or Juice was at our house. I tried to convince him that it wasn't necessary but he wouldn't hear it. By early evening, I started to feel normal again. Juice had showed up with veggie pizza after I had showered and migrated to the living room. He smiled brightly. I knew he had been there earlier in the day but I hadn't seen him.

"Hey. I brought pizza!" He moved the large pizza box around in the air like it was a plane coming in for a landing. I rolled my eyes and managed a genuine smirk. "What are you watching?"

"Um. Old tapes from training exercises with Rex." I paused the video and walked into the kitchen for plates and drinks.

"I didn't realize your dog was so huge," Juice said as I walked back into the living room. He had rewinded the video by a couple minutes and watched as I carried Rex over my shoulders.

"Did you think I had a miniature dog?" I laughed and handed him a bottle of water. "We did those drills so that if our dog was injured we could evac them safely. He loved being carried around like that."

"That's amazing." Juice looked genuinely impressed. We watched a few more videos of Rex and I while we ate. He asked questions about what he was seeing and it was fun to explain everything. After we made it through the videos, I started flipping through television channels to find something to watch.

"Opie's okay." Juice said. I had wondered but didn't want to ask. I assumed it was probably a sensitive subject to talk about both inside and outside of the club. I just nodded. "Clay is still in the hospital but it was through and through."

"I know." I had seen the shot. I knew Opie wasn't set on killing him. He had gone to the gun range with Happy and I on several occasions and he was always on target.

"Hap said you two are going to Texas tomorrow?" Juice didn't look away from the episode of Top Gear that I had landed on.

"Yeah, we're leaving in the morning so we can meet the dogs on Monday." I was looking forward to getting out of Charming almost as much as I was looking forward to meeting Havoc and the other dogs. We watched a couple shows before Happy got home. I noticed how Juice nervously side stepped him on his way out.

"What did you do to Juice?" I asked after kissing him hello. He shook his head and walked into the kitchen for a beer. I pursed my lips, still waiting for an answer when he joined me on the couch.

"Nothing. There was a disagreement about Opie and I got irritated." He used his reaper ring to open the beer and tossed the cap onto the coffee table. I realized he wasn't going to expand on his explanation. "We need to leave by eleven in the morning if you don't want me driving a hundred the whole way there."

"That's fine. I can make breakfast and then we can leave. As long as we get there before 6 in the afternoon on Monday it will be fine." I smiled and leaned against him. "I wasn't sure if you would still be able to go."

"It's important to you. I'll make it work." He said. I smiled and climbed into his lap, turned on by the way he cared. He smirked and turned the television off. I had his attention.


	12. Chapter 12

Happy smiled as I turned the radio up and started swaying with the beat. We had been on the road for just over four hours and I was getting restless. Kip had lent us his truck for the trip since we weren't sure how the dog would do on the long ride home. I knew Happy wasn't looking forward to such a long trip in a cage, but he was being a good sport about it.

"Do you want me to stop at a service station soon?" Happy asked after my song was over. I stretched my arms above my head and nodded.

"Yes please. I need coffee." I smiled, drunk with the excitement of meeting our potential dog in less than a day. It helped that we had escaped Charming for a little while as well. The drama and violence had started getting to me. I wasn't a pacifist but I had my limits.

Happy shut the truck off and tossed the keys to me. We had agreed to take turns driving and he had been driving since we left Charming. I followed him into the service station and headed straight to the restroom. Happy was on the phone when I found him a few minutes later. I could tell it was club related, so I didn't interrupt him. I got a large coffee and poured a combination of vanilla and caramel creamer in it. After that, I loaded up on some chips, granola bars and a couple bags of gummy worms. Happy joined me at the counter and set a couple bottles of water and his own coffee down as he ended the phone call.

"$18.42 sir," The clerk was a younger guy, probably still in high school. Happy counted out the money as the guy bagged my food up. I noticed Happy was scowling.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we got back in the truck. He took a long drink of coffee and shook his head.

"Kid called me sir. If I had my kutte he wouldn't do that shit." Happy grumbled. I laughed and earned a scowl. "He probably thinks I'm your dad."

"You're only ten years older than me. He probably didn't think anything." I rolled my eyes. "In case you didn't know, you still look like a hard ass without the kutte."

"Kat, pass that asshole." Happy said as I rode up on a car that was hogging the left lane. I turned on my blinker and got in the right lane. The car got over in front of me. I squeezed the steering wheel tighter and sped up, getting closer and closer to their back bumper. When the front bumper of the truck was just inches from the car, I jumped over to the left lane and floored the accelerator. Happy leaned back in the seat once we were several hundred yards past the car. It amused me to have him as my passenger. Kip hated how aggressively I drove.

"Remember our first road trip together?" I smiled over at Happy. We had only been dating for a few months when we rode down to Bakersfield for his mother's birthday. I had been so nervous about meeting her. I had agreed to ride with Happy on his Harley instead of ride my own motorcycle. My ass was numb from the uncomfortable rear seat and the usual, vibrating ride of a Harley.

"Yeah, you whined about the bitch seat the whole time." He opened the bag of gummy worms and handed me a pink and blue one, my favorite.

"You try riding five hundred miles on the back of a Dyna." I teased, biting the head off the worm. He rolled his eyes. "My bike's seat was twenty times more comfortable than your Harley's."

"Yeah but you're all cramped up like a jockey." He argued. I shook my head. It was a disagreement we had since the day we met. We continued debating the pros and cons of both types of motorcycles for a few miles. "Do you want another bike?"

"I do but I don't even have an actual job right now." I had been helping Gemma with odd jobs at the clubhouse and in the garage office but didn't have any full time employment yet. Happy shook his head. I knew what he was going to say. "I need a job, Happy."

"No, you don't. You want a job." He had added me to his checking account and insisted to consider his money ours. It was hard and we often argued about it. My therapist loved that issue. "What do you want to do, Kat? Waitress for shit tips?"

"No," I wasn't sure how to respond. What did I want to do? I laughed, "If I could do anything, I would spend all day with dogs."

"Then do that. Train them or something." Happy shrugged. I opened my mouth to argue but it really did sound like my dream job. He rubbed my thigh. "If you want to do it then do it, babe. You don't have to be in a rush to make a fortune."

"Let's see how I do with this dog and we'll talk about it." I wasn't as confident in my ability to actually make a living training dogs. I couldn't tell if he thought it could actually be a job for me or if he just wanted me to stop trying to find a job.

We drove through the night to San Antonio, only stopping for an hour nap when we ran out of coffee and couldn't find an open service station. We were both tired of being in the truck, so we headed down to the river walk to stretch our legs and get some lunch before heading to the base. I felt myself starting to get nervous. What if we had wasted a trip? What if we took a dog home and it ended up being uncontrollable.

"You're going to get worry wrinkles if you keep screwing your face up like that." Happy said, tossing a fry at me. I threw it back at him, not in the mood to be teased. "What?"

"I'm just worried this won't work out." He raised his brow. "The dogs, I mean."

"I know what you meant. Why wouldn't it work out?" He asked, leaning back in his chair. I ran through a list of negative outcomes quickly. He laughed when I finally stopped. "Kat, it's going to be fine. You're like a fucking dog whisperer."

"I'm pretty sure that's trade marked." I muttered. He leaned across the table and kissed my forehead. I blinked as he stood up and tossed a couple twenties on the table. "What are you doing?"

"Going to get my wife a dog so she stops freaking out." He turned his back and started towards the exit. I took one more drink of my water before hurrying after him. My excited butterflies were starting to return.

"I'll drive." I offered. I knew he had never been to a military base and the gate procedures would probably irritate him. I had to pull all the strings I had just to get him access to the base due to his criminal history. My palms started sweating as we waited in line.

"ID's." The girl at the gate looked like she was fresh out of basic training. I handed her both of our ID's and a letter from the Lieutenant Danvers. She stepped into the guard shack as another airman ran a mirror wand under the truck. I bit my bottom lip when I saw another airman standing to the side with a canine. Happy chuckled.

"You look like a little kid. It's cute." He said quietly. I smiled, confident that there was little that could sour my mood. The girl with our ID's returned.

"Here you go, Sgt. Epps. The lieutenant is clear that you're here. Do you need directions to the kennels?" She asked with a smile. I shook my head, telling her that I'd spent several months at the kennels. She nodded and waved us through.

"That was easier than I thought it would be, convict." I teased Happy. He raised his middle finger at me and looked around the base. It was just after four o'clock, so traffic was starting to pick up. I rolled the windows down and took in all the familiar sounds of planes flying over and squadrons singing jodies as they ran as a unit. I noticed Happy had started watching me. "What?"

"You miss it, don't you?" His tone didn't give away anything about the way he wanted me to answer that. I shrugged.

"Parts of it. This is one of the more glamorous bases. Army posts are nearly as fancy." I explained. He nodded and sat up as we turned on the road towards the kennels. There were several dogs out on the training courses with their handlers. I felt a pang of sadness, remembering late nights with Rex on those same courses.

"Sgt. Epps, how was your trip down?" Lieutenant Danvers met us at the truck with an extended hand. I felt a strong urge to salute him but managed to resist. Happy walked around the truck and also shook the young lieutenant's hand. I noticed how rigid Happy had gotten.

"Long but I'm hoping it was worth it." I motioned back towards the courses behind us. "You've got some great looking dogs working out there."

"They're the veteran dogs. I'm trying to get those rookies into the habit of trusting the damn dog and not calling all the shots." He laughed. I nodded, remembering my fellow trainees having similar problems. I was somewhat of a star student in handler school. "So, do you want to meet the dogs?"

"I can't wait." I smiled. He nodded towards Happy and led us back to a newer looking kennel a hundred yards or so past the main kennels. The dogs started barking loudly as we approached. We entered a fenced dog run and waited. Danvers came out a few minutes later with a large, dark Belgian Shepherd. He was young and seemed very playful.

"Hey buddy. You're just a big puppy, aren't you?" The dog wagged it's tail so enthusiastically that his whole body wiggled. He went over to Happy and gave him big, wet kisses on the cheek. I gave the puppy a good scratch behind the ears before standing up and talking to Danvers. "He obviously doesn't have a mean bone in his body. He's a good boy but I think he'd be better with a big family."

"You okay?" Happy asked while we waited on the next dog. I sighed and he wrapped an arm around me.

"It's not about babies. I just hate turning dogs away when I know they need a home." My lip quivered. Happy chuckled and kissed the top of my head. We met three other dogs and I felt terrible after not feeling a strong enough connection with any of them. Finally, it was time to meet Havoc. Danvers suggested we meet him one at a time, so Happy stepped to the outside of the fence. I called out to Danvers just before he went in the kennel, "Can you just let him out on a lead? Don't walk him in."

"Are you sure?" I nodded. He shook his head but agreed. A couple minutes later, a very large German Shepherd came barreling at me. He was beautiful. He was very dark, almost solid black but he had caramel rings around his eyes and caramel flecks on his legs. His teeth were bared as he ran at me.

"Stop." I commanded, standing tall. He stopped in his tracks and stared at me. I waited for what felt like half an hour. "Release."

Havoc didn't charge me again. He slowly walked up and started sniffing me curiously. I turned my palm towards him and let him come closer on his own terms. As soon as his nose touched my palm, he started nuzzling my hand and leaning against my legs. I looked back at Happy and smiled. Danvers was standing beside him with a pleasantly surprised grin.

"Come meet him, Hap. He's a good boy." I knelt down, returning the nuzzling Havoc was giving me. As soon as the gate opened, he switched. Instead of charging Happy, he positioned himself directly in front of me and started guarding. Happy paused. "Havoc, down."

I had to repeat the command twice but he eventually laid down. I could tell he wasn't fully comfortable but he stayed still. Happy followed my instructions to walk slowly with his hands by his side. Havoc started whining, showing that he was stressed by having to restrain himself. I told Happy to stop a few yards away. Havoc stopped whining after a couple minutes and started to relax. Once he laid his head on his paws, I suggested Happy approach him, slowly.

"Don't get me bitten." Happy said softly. I knew he wasn't thrilled with facing down a ninety pound dog. Havoc didn't react as Happy got closer. He raised his head and turned it curiously once Happy was about a foot away. "Now what?"

"Stop and ask him to come." I shrugged. It was up to Havoc now. Happy looked up to the sky and let out a long breath. "Don't look him in the eyes."

"Havoc, come." Happy's voice was stern but even. Havoc stood but didn't move forward right away. Happy looked at me, so I gave him a reassuring nod. Havoc started sniffing and inching towards Happy. A couple minutes went by and Happy was petting Havoc and seemed much more relaxed.

"So?" I asked Happy after Havoc returned to me with a large, rubber tire. He took a deep breath and paused, building tension. I scowled at him and Havoc's ears pricked up. Happy nodded. I smiled and pulled Havoc into my arms. "You're coming home with us buddy. Yes you are. Yes you are."

"He's never been this calm. I'm glad you found him." Danvers said after we finished the paperwork. Havoc was playing with his tire and keeping watch over us. "Congratulations."

"Thank you so much for keeping him for us." I scratched Havoc's back and smiled.

"Want to run him through a course for old times sake? Might help him calm down for the ride." Danvers suggested. I bit my bottom lip and looked at the course. I worried that it would bring back too many memories. Havoc whined and nudged my hand.

Twenty minutes later, I was breathless but smiling from ear to ear. Havoc was proud of himself and celebrating with his tire. Danvers gave me a smile and patted Havoc on the head before we loaded up into the truck. Happy had agreed to drive for the first couple of hours so I could make sure Havoc was settled in. I chose to give him the chance to ride in the back seat as opposed to his carrier in the back of the truck.

"You were impressive on the course." Happy said after Havoc settled down. I smiled, my cheeks blushing a little. "Really, I've never seen that side of you."

"Thanks. I'm out of practice but it felt good to do that. Juice and I watched some old videos with Rex and it reminded me how much I loved it." I smiled back at Havoc who was looking out of the window. Happy didn't say anything for a few minutes. I looked back at Happy and noticed he had tensed up. "What's wrong?"

"You never talk about Iraq or Rex." He kept his eyes on the road and his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"I do, sometimes." He scowled. "I was already watching some videos of Rex and I training when Juice came over. I needed a refresher before we brought this guy home."

Happy didn't say anything. I wanted to ask him if he was upset about me not talking about Iraq or if he was upset about Juice. The question sounded ridiculous in my head. He had no reason to be jealous or upset about Juice. I decided he was probably tired. We were already back on the road and had barely rested in the last thirty-six hours. Havoc whined and laid his head on the center console. Happy rested his hand on his head and rubbed between his ears. I turned on the radio and leaned back, trying to rest a little before we switched.

"Hey." Happy nudged me and I sat up quickly. It was dark out and we had stopped at a service station. "He probably needs to get out for a while."

"Yeah, definitely." I rubbed my eyes and hooked Havoc up to his lead before opening the door. He waited for permission to exit the truck and then ran straight to the grass to relieve himself. Happy rubbed my arm and kissed the top of my head.

"Do you want some coffee?" He asked as I struggled to keep Havoc away from a other people at the station.

"Please? Thanks for letting me sleep." I smiled. He squeezed my butt and gave me a smirk before walking to the shop. Havoc whipped around and watched him walk away uneasily. I watched as he side stepped closer to me and leaned into my legs. He started to growl when a man parked his truck nearby. I patted his side, trying to reassure him that he wasn't working, he could relax. It seemed to be working until the man started walking towards me. Havoc laid his ears back and started barking and snapping. The man froze in his tracks. "Havoc, down."

"You need to control that beast!" The man yelled, pushing his jacket back and placing his hand on a gun. Havoc saw that as a threat and started lunging at the man.

"Dude, just back up and get your fucking hand off your gun." I called over Havoc's barking. The guy took a step back. Havoc was already angry. I stepped back, leading him with me. "Havoc, leave it."

It took a few seconds but he finally stopped barking. He started pacing and growling. I loosened the tension on the lead and coaxed him over to me. Havoc kept his eyes on the man who had returned to his truck, but he allowed me to lead him away. I could tell it was going to take some work to get Havoc to trust people more. I wasn't angry or disappointed though, he was only doing what he thought was best.

"Is he going to do that with everyone?" Happy said after we got in the truck. Havoc gnawed on his tire, a completely different dog than he had been ten minutes before.

"Hopefully not. I think if we introduce him to people calmly and in a controlled environment, it should be better." I couldn't guarantee anything. I had only just met Havoc and he seemed to be fiercely loyal and protective. It was a great trait for a working dog but he was definitely more aggressive than most. "I'm not just going to walk him into the clubhouse and let him loose."

"Well, you could walk him into the fucking cigar shop and let him loose." Happy suggested. I pulled back onto the interstate and chuckled. Havoc shook his toy ferociously.

"Ugh, I have never been happier to be home." I said, practically falling out of the truck. Havoc yawned at the same time as Happy. "Come on."

We walked inside and Havoc started sniffing everything in the living room. Happy watched him uncomfortably. I walked into the kitchen and filled the bowls we had gotten for him with food and water. He rushed into the kitchen as soon as he heard the food bag.

"Are you sure he shouldn't have a kennel outside?" Happy asked as Havoc chomped away at his kibble.

"No, Hap. He needs to be in the house if he's going to become more of a pet than a working dog. Besides, if someone breaks in or something he isn't going to be much help locked up in the back yard." I said, appealing to Happy's own protective nature.

"I guess. He's not sleeping in the bed." I looked at the overgrown puppy that was playing with his empty food bowl. If I was single, he would definitely sleep in the bed with me but I understood where Happy was coming from.

"Okay," I consented. Havoc nudged the back door with his nose. I opened it and let him out in the back yard to do his business. "See? He's a good boy."

"If you say so. I'm going to bed if you don't need any help." Happy yawned again. I shook my head and whistled for Havoc to come inside. He ran in at full speed, barely sliding to a stop before running into Happy. "Damn puppy."

"Aw, say I didn't mean to. Did you, Havoc? No, say I just want to play." I grabbed his toy and started playing tug with him as Happy walked down the hall. After a couple hours, Havoc was slowing down, so I got him settled down in his crate. Eventually I planned on letting him sleep on a bed outside of the crate, but I didn't think Happy would be too pleased to wake up and find the house destroyed because Havoc had gotten bored.

***Thanks so much for your continued support on this project. I appreciate every favorite, follow and review left. I hope you continue to review and enjoy!***


	13. Chapter 13

"Right now?" Happy had his phone cradled between his ear and shoulder as he played tug with Havoc's favorite rope. In the five weeks since we brought him home, he had adjusted well and was close to fully trusting Happy. The only time he really showed any hesitation with him was when we argued. Unfortunately, it seemed to be happening more often. I whistled for Havoc so Happy could finish his phone call. He brought his rope over and bounced around, urging me to play with it. I snapped and he dropped it, sitting down immediately. He watched me intently, waiting for me to pick the rope up and let him play again. I smiled and snatched the rope up, looking for a reaction from him. He stayed still and waited. I released him from his stay and threw the rope as hard as I could.

"Hey, I've got to head down to the studio." Happy snaked his arms around me and kissed the side of my neck. I ran my tongue over my teeth and remained silent. Of all the club business that I had tolerated or accepted, I couldn't stand the porn business. He must have felt me tense up. "It shouldn't take long, babe. We can just stop there on the way home."

"Of all places you want to take Havoc." I laughed, thinking how entertaining it was bound to be. He had met Kip and Juice but I hadn't felt comfortable taking him to the clubhouse yet. "That's fine. I'll go with you."

I let Happy drive the Jeep, though I preferred to. Havoc jumped into the back and laid across the seats. I lit a cigarette before changing my mind and flicking it out of the window. I stared at the road quietly, my mind unsettled about our destination. When it came to the porn studio, I had decided that silence was the best way to avoid arguments. Happy was aware that anything to do with the women or the studio made me mad. I was aware that he thought I was being ridiculous and that there was nothing he could do about the business relationship. We were at a stalemate.

"We'll stay out here." I told Happy when he turned the engine off. He nodded and gave Havoc a quick pat before walking towards the door. I gave Havoc the okay to get out of the Jeep and hooked his lead onto his collar. His mentality shifted from play to work as soon as the lead snapped on. I had started working with him to relax but I didn't necessarily want him to lose the discipline the handlers had instilled in him.

"Who are you?" A blonde asked, stepping out of a white BMW that sped into a parking spot next to the Jeep. Havoc turned his attention to her and laid his ears back. I wrapped the lead around my fist, anticipating his lunge.

"Happy's old lady. We've met before." I had the displeasure of meeting Ima at a club party the week before. She was doing everything she could to be close to Jax. Havoc growled when she took her sunglasses off.

"Sorry, I don't remember. Didn't know he had an old lady." She shrugged. It was obvious that she was just looking for a reaction out of me. I let slack into Havoc's lead and he lunged forward, barking and snapping. Ima almost fell off of her five inch heels when she jumped back. I didn't even try to hide a laugh. She didn't speak another word before turning her back to me and rushing to the building.

"Enough." I didn't have to speak up or repeat myself. Havoc went silent and sat beside me, tail wagging. I grabbed his rope out of the backseat to reward him for listening.

"Hey buddy!" Juice said, breaking off from the other three guys that he'd ridden onto the lot with. I took Havoc's lead off and let him greet Juice. His tail was wagging as he enthusiastically offered Juice the frayed end of the rope. Juice laughed. "He isn't afraid of the bikes?"

"Nah, he heard fighter jets flying around all the time in Texas." I had been relieved when Havoc had ignored the sound of Happy's Dyna, even at the highest of revs. "I guess you four are reinforcements?"

"I guess. Gemma told Clay she was coming down here, so he's a little pissed." Juice managed to get the rope away from Havoc and tossed it across the parking lot. Havoc ran after it as fast as he could and gave it a furious shake before returning it to Juice. A couple tosses later, Gemma pulled into the parking lot. She stormed right past us and into the studio.

"Is it bad that I kind of want to see the fireworks that are about to pop off in there?" I asked Juice with a laugh. He shrugged.

"You can go in. It's not like you're banned." He crouched down and rough housed with Havoc. "It's probably a lot cooler in there."

"Oh, I don't know about that." I laughed. After a few minutes, I decided to go see what was taking so long. I didn't have plans for the afternoon but that didn't mean I wanted to hang out there. I hooked Havoc up to his lead but let him drag it along behind him as he followed me. It seemed to get his attention without switching him to work mode.

There was a lot of yelling when we walked inside. Happy was sitting in a directors chair, watching the argument and looking bored. Havoc tensed, obviously irritated by the yelling. He stayed right beside me, even trying to push me in the opposite direction of the argument.

"You can't have that dog in here." Ima snapped. She seemed to feel more confident inside than she had in the parking lot. Havoc sat in front of me but didn't growl or lunge at her.

"Yeah, she can." Happy walked up behind Ima and scratched Havoc under his chin. He wiggled and squirmed a little but didn't step away from me. Happy looked up at Juice. "Did you get lost between the parking lot and here?"

"How many of us does it take to deal with pissed off porn starts?" Juice laughed. Happy didn't seem amused. Clay and Gemma stormed past the four of us, yelling back and forth. Happy rolled his eyes and followed them outside. Havoc whined, disapproving of Happy following the argument and abandoning his scratches. I picked up his lead and followed Happy, knowing Havoc would throw a fit if he thought Happy was in danger.

As soon as I opened the door, there were four gunshots. It caught me off guard and Havoc lunged, pulling the lead out of my hand. He bolted to Happy, growling and barking viciously.

"Havoc! Down!" I yelled, running to catch up with him. Happy looked back at me with a scowl. I picked up the lead quickly and pulled him away from Gemma. She looked genuinely terrified. I picked up her gun and handed it back to her. After he saw that, Havoc calmed down enough to stop barking.

"Katerina, put the damn dog in the car." Happy snapped. I glared at him and stood my ground. "Why didn't you have him?"

"I did until someone popped off shots. Don't be a dick. He thought you were in danger. He didn't hurt anyone. He just barked." I gave Havoc his rope and gave him slack on the lead. Happy shook his head.

"If you can't control him then he needs to stay home." Happy wouldn't even look at me. I clenched my hands into fists.

"If I can't control him? I did this for years! Did he bite anyone? Did he knock anyone down? He's a working dog, Happy. He isn't some poodle that's going to hide when he thinks his family is in trouble." I shook my head and moved to walk past Happy to the Jeep. He caught my arm. Havoc growled around his rope. "You may want to let go. I can't control him, remember?"

"Go home." Happy growled, releasing my arm. Havoc shook his rope and trotted over to the Jeep with me. I didn't go home because Happy told me to. I went home because, if I didn't, I would have slapped him.

It was the middle of the night when Happy got home. I was laying on the couch with Havoc watching a stand-up comedy, trying to ignore the thoughts running through my head. I waited for Happy to say something before I spoke to him, despite how childish that was.

"Havoc, go to bed." Happy said, sitting on the couch. I continued to ignore him as Havoc walked to his bed and laid down. "If he bit Gemma, Clay would have shot him."

"He didn't and if he had it would have been her own fault. Why was she popping off shots in the parking lot?" I refused to blame Havoc for reacting protectively.

"I don't know. She was talking about Clay and pussy, I try not to get in their marriage shit." Happy shook his head and looked over at Havoc who was watching us closely. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

"That you're an asshole sometimes." I said with a half grin. He scowled and I watched a vein in his neck pulsate. I sat up, "What do you think I need to tell you? Don't beat around the bush."

"What's going on with you and Juice?" He didn't look at me when he asked the question. I blinked, confused where he was coming from.

"Nothing. We're friends, if that." I stood up and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at me. "Where is this shit coming from?"

"People have asked me, Kat. You think I just made this shit up?" He snapped. I stepped back from him, tears building up in my eyes.

"People? Do these people have fake tits and bottle blonde hair?" I scoffed when he didn't deny it. How dare he question me about my friendship with Juice. "You want to interrogate me off shit that comes from her mouth? Should I go get the pliers or maybe water torture would work better?"

"You were asleep on the couch together the night you found out you weren't pregnant. Where are you going?" He yelled. I had nodded and walked down the hall. I returned a minute later and slammed an envelope down on the coffee table.

"Go sleep at the clubhouse. If I find out you even touch another woman, I'm done." I watched him read the paper inside the envelope a couple times. His hand came up to his scruffy beard and then ran over his head. I snapped my fingers at Havoc and pointed down the hall towards the bedroom. He trotted down the hallway. My fists were clenched when I looked back at Happy, "It's yours, in case you were worried."

I walked down the hall and slammed the bedroom door shut. I managed to hold back the tears until I got to the bed. Havoc whined and nuzzled me as I sobbed. It wasn't my plan to tell him during the middle of an argument. I wanted it to be special or at least some time that he wasn't questioning my faithfulness. I was so hurt by his accusations. I never even considered cheating on him, never.

After my tears subsided, I walked into the bathroom and splashed water on my face. Havoc stayed right on my heel. As I patted my skin dry with the hand towel, there was a light knock on the bedroom door. It confirmed my belief that I hadn't heard Happy's bike leave the garage. I contemplated ignoring him. He had hurt me, deeply. I wasn't ready to forgive him. I probably wouldn't be for a while.

"Kat, please open the door." I knew he could pick the lock and walk in. He was saying please to be nice. I bit my bottom lip and walked over to the door. "I'm sorry."

"I don't forgive you, Happy." I opened the door and almost started crying again. He frowned and tried to pull me into a hug. I stepped back and shook my head. "I'm sorry but I can't pretend what you said is okay."

"What now? You want me to leave?" He asked with a scowl. I rolled my eyes and stepped back, letting him into the room.

"I told you to leave. You didn't listen." I was exhausted. I hated fighting with Happy and felt guilty for telling him about the pregnancy during a fight.

"Can we talk about the baby?" He asked after a few minutes of just sitting on the bed silently. I shrugged. "When did you find out?"

"Three days ago." I said. He was out on the road and I had Tara run a blood test after feeling sick and generally 'off' for weeks. "I'm around ten weeks."

"Have you seen a doctor yet?" He was looking at his hands and twisting the reaper ring around his middle finger.

"No. I just did the blood test. I have an appointment with a doctor on Monday." I was nervous about the appointment. I didn't want to get bad news. "I'm seeing a high risk specialist."

"What time?" He looked up when I didn't answer immediately. "I'm going with you, Kat. You can be pissed at me if you want but I'm not missing any appointments."

"It's at two o'clock." I wanted to be glad that he was making a point to go to the appointments with me but a big part of my brain was asking if he was only going for the baby and not for me. Before I could stop myself, tears started flowing down my cheeks. Havoc whined again and laid his head in my lap.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I don't know why I let that shit get to me, Kat." He took my hand slowly, either to avoid upsetting me or Havoc. I wasn't sure which. "I'm not good at this, babe. It's not your fault."

"Not good at what?" I sniffled and buried my free hand into Havoc's thick fur. Happy sighed and I looked over at him. "What?"

"Talking about feelings." He grumbled. I could tell he was uncomfortable. "Sometimes I remember that you're younger than me and it bugs the shit out of me. You could pick anyone else, Kat."

"Happy, I'm barely ten years younger than you. I've never cared about it." I shook my head and pulled my hand from his and turned my wrist, exposing the inside of my arm. "You really think I could pick anyone else, Hap?"

"Yeah." He ran his thumb over the six inch scar that ran up from my wrist towards the bend of my arm. "You're beautiful."

"I'm a mess." I laughed. He shrugged and shoo'd Havoc off the bed. I sighed and leaned against Happy, letting him wrap his arm around me.

"I love you, beautiful mess and all." He whispered. I started crying again and tried to pull away from him. "Don't push me away, Kat. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Are you going to leave if we lose the baby?" I couldn't help but sob when I asked him. He pulled me closer as I started to sob. My whole body shook with each nasty sob. Happy shook his head and held me tightly.

"Is that what you've been worried about since you found out about the baby?" He asked quietly when my tears finally started to slow. I nodded. "No, Kat. I wouldn't leave you. I couldn't leave you."

"Promise me you won't do anything to get arrested or killed. Please. Happy, I couldn't raise a kid alone. Please." He squeezed me tightly as I started crying harder. I knew part of my instability was from hormones but I could also feel myself getting depressed recently.

"I'm never going to intentionally leave you alone, Kat." I knew that wasn't what I had asked for but it was all I was going to get. He chuckled. I looked up quickly, wondering what on earth he found funny in that moment. He nodded towards the floor, "Look."

I looked down and saw that Havoc had not only brought me every single toy he had but he was trying to pull his large bed into the bedroom. I climbed off the bed and dried my face with the bottom of my shirt. Havoc looked up at me when I helped pull his bed inside.

"I guess he can start sleeping in here." Happy sighed. "On his bed, not ours."

Happy skipped the parties on Friday and Saturday, opting to stay home with me instead. I still didn't feel level but I was getting there. We agreed to start talking about things that were bothering us before we ended up getting into arguments. Surprisingly, he didn't get angry when I told him that avoiding Juice wasn't an option. I unashamedly told him that I could be friends with whoever I wanted if he could be in business with porn actresses.

"Hey, were you asleep?" Happy asked, tapping on the window of the jeep. I had been waiting for him in the parking lot of the doctor's office. I nodded and opened the door. "Where's Havoc?"

"Home. It's too hot to leave him in the car and they frown on dogs in doctor's offices." I shrugged. We walked inside and I started feeling anxious. Happy moved his hand to the small of my back and gently pressed me forward. I stopped just outside of the waiting room. "I can't do this."

"Hey." He stepped in front of me and looked me in the eyes. "Kat. You aren't doing this, okay? We are."

"There's going to be a room full of pregnant people in there." I shook my head and started to turn away from him.

"I'm pretty sure just the women are pregnant." He smirked and I shook my head, not in the mood to appreciate his joke. "You're pregnant to, okay? Just, don't worry about them. Go in and find us seats. I'll sign us in."

"Okay." I said after a minute of considering going home. Happy kissed my forehead and opened the door for me. The waiting room was almost full but I managed to find two seats in the corner. I grabbed a home decor magazine and stared at the first page I flipped to.

"Do you want me to fill this out?" Happy asked, turning a clipboard of forms towards me. I nodded, turning the page of the magazine. He filled out the demographics for a couple minutes and moved on to the medical history pages. "Do you have any family history of cancer?"

"No." I said quickly. He nodded and made a mark on the page. I looked over. "Is that just about me?"

"Yeah, this one is." He must have known why I was asking. I didn't want to bring up his mother if I didn't have to, so I just waited for his next question. "Is your period normal, light or heavy?"

"Give me that." I scoffed, taking the clipboard from him. He didn't argue and put an arm over the back of my chair. I flew through the last of the two forms, only asking him a few questions about his family's medical history. When I was done, he took the forms back to the receptionist. I noticed him talking to them for a couple minutes before walking back to me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just asked them to see you as soon as they could." He squeezed my knee. I nodded and started picking at my fingernail polish. I noticed his leg bouncing impatiently as the minutes went by. He closed the magazine he had been reading and tossed it on the table. "I'm going to stop smoking."

"So they need to raise the national threat level?" I asked with a chuckle. He rolled his eyes. "Happy, I was there when you tried that before. You were a miserable dick."

"Then I'm going to stop smoking near you." He suggested. I nodded as a nurse called us back. Twenty minutes later, the doctor walked into the room. She had an ultrasound technician with her and I felt myself getting nauseous. She apologized for the wait and started asking about how I had been feeling recently.

"Stressed and emotional." I said. She set my chart down and started talking to us about the previous pregnancy. When I couldn't answer, Happy filled in for me.

"Do you have anxiety about this pregnancy?" The doctor asked me. "I noticed you've been picking at the skin around your nails."

"Yeah." I didn't feel like explaining it. She had her answer.

"Would you feel better if we got a look at the baby today?" She was almost talking down to me, like I was a little kid being offered a lollipop. I bit the inside of my cheeks and nodded silently. Soon after, she was showing us the ultrasound. "Everything looks good so far. You may be a little closer to twelve or thirteen weeks than ten. I'm thinking a due date around October 5th. For now you can come in once a month. If you start feeling odd or we find anything to be concerned about, we'll make new plans."

"Sounds good." Happy said when I failed to respond. I was still looking at the ultrasound. The technician moved to turn the monitor off.

"Wait." I said quickly. Everyone looked at me expectantly. "If there were twins, would we know now?"

"You have a history of twins in your family?" She asked, motioning for the technician to hand her the wand again.

"I may have missed that question." Happy shrugged. I rolled my eyes and explained that I had a twin brother and my mother's brothers were twins. I noticed Happy start to look uneasy.

"No, no it looks like we're just looking at one." The doctor confirmed. I breathed a sigh of relief along with Happy. She laughed and turned the monitor off. "That's usually the reaction we get."

We booked the next appointment and then headed home to get ready for a dinner at Gemma's. I was a little nervous considering how Havoc reacted the last time I saw Gemma. Still, Happy insisted that I bring him with us. He was convinced that I was twice as calm with Havoc around than I was without him.

"Babe?" I stepped out of the shower to an empty bedroom. He had laid down on the bed when I went into the bathroom. "Happy?"

"Yeah?" I had found him standing in our guest bedroom with a tape measure. We had agreed not to start working on any nursery until my third trimester. I frowned at him and folded my arms across the towel that I had wrapped around me. "I'm just measuring, Kat. That's all."

"Uh huh." I shook my head with a small smile. "After dinner I want to tell Kip. I don't want anyone else to know yet though. Well, Tara knows but that was unavoidable."

"Okay. We can tell him." He smiled, pulling me into a hug. I shoo'd his hand as he tried to sneak it beneath the towel.

"You can wait for round two until we get home. I just took a shower." I laughed. He sighed melodramatically and kissed my nose. "I'm going to get dressed."

***Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Again, I appreciate every single review you leave!


	14. Chapter 14

Gemma had a full house when Happy and I arrived with Havoc. I was apprehensive about having him around so many people, but he seemed to gravitate towards Opie's kids. He was gentle with them and let them play with his rope as much as they wanted. Happy and I shared a secret smile when we first noticed him liking the children.

"I haven't seen them smile that much in weeks." Opie bit off a piece of roll and motioned towards the kids who were in the living room playing tug with Havoc. "It's nice."

"They're welcome to come over and play with him, Opie. I don't mind." I smiled. He seemed to give it some thought before nodding and sitting down next to Piney. Happy sat next to Juice and I tried not to overthink it. I was still trying to forgive him for the accusations he'd made. I sat to Happy's right and was right across the table from Kip. He seemed distracted and kept getting messages on his phone.

"No phones at the table." Chibs said, thumping Kip on the back of the head as he sat down. Kip sent another message and put the phone in his kutte. "Food looks delicious, Gemma."

We all agreed, waiting for Gemma to sit down and say a short prayer before we dug in. I didn't have much of an appetite, so I stuck to mashed potatoes, green beans and bread. Happy offered me several other dishes before giving up. I was focusing on making myself eat as everyone started talking about an upcoming charity run.

"I'm getting more wine. Do you want some, Kat?" I looked up at the mention of alcohol and shook my head. Gemma paused but didn't question me before going into the kitchen. I finished the potatoes while Happy and a couple other guys talked about prices of motorcycle parts. My stomach starting churning.

"Havoc, come." I excused myself from the table to take Havoc outside. It seemed like a believable excuse to get some fresh air. He trotted along beside me as we walked around the back yard. "Go on."

"You okay?" Happy asked, startling me. I hadn't heard him walking up from the house. I nodded and gave him a smile. "You barely ate, babe."

"I know. I just started feeling a little queasy. I needed some air, it's packed in there." I nodded towards the house as several people started walking outside for post-dinner cigarettes. He kissed my forehead and ran his hands up and down my arms. "I guess I should have worn a jacket."

"There might be one in my saddle bag." He offered. I smiled, shaking my head. "Gemma's going to throw a fit if he kills her rose bushes."

"Havoc." I called him away from the bushes he had been sniffing around. He bounded over and wagged his tail happily. The three of us headed back towards the house as Ellie and Kenny rushed outside.

"Can Havoc play outside with us?" Kenny asked, holding Havoc's rope in his hand. I nodded and Kenny threw the rope with a bright smile. Havoc whined and looked up at me for the okay. I barely nodded my head and he was off, racing to find his beloved toy. Happy shook his head with a light laugh. After an hour or so, people started trickling out to go home. I caught Kip as he searched his pockets for his keys.

"Hey, we're about to leave. Will you stop by our house for a few minutes?" I whispered while giving him a hug. He raised his eyebrows curiously.

"Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?" He looked around me towards Happy. I looked back to see Happy and Juice in what looked like a heated conversation. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Kip.

"Everything is fine. Just meet us there, okay?" I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and started walking towards Happy. His arms were folded across his chest and he was shaking his head at something Juice was saying. I bit my lip, hoping that my presence wouldn't make things worse. "Hap, I'm heading home with Havoc. Kip's going to meet me there."

"Alright. I'll follow you." He kissed me deeply, pulling my hips towards him. I let it go on for a moment before stepping back. I decided telling him off in front of everyone wouldn't help matters but I was definitely going to bring it up later. I knew he was trying to mark his territory and I didn't appreciate it.

Kip was waiting in front of the house when Happy and I got home. I pulled the Jeep in the garage and let Havoc out before waving Kip inside. He dismounted his bike and walked up the sidewalk, his eyes never leaving his phone. Happy closed the garage doors and filled the dog food bowl while I walked through the house to let Kip inside.

"What's up?" Kip put his phone in his pocket and hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. I shook my head, pointing to the pocket his phone was in.

"Not until you tell me what's got you attached to your phone." I sat down on the couch and motioned towards the loveseat across form me. He rolled his eyes and sat down with a huff.

"Cherry." He mumbled. I closed my eyes, wishing the girl would just leave the band aid off and let him heal. Every time she called or texted him, he got hopeful for a while and then she would disappear; after that he was a miserable asshole for days. "She's leaving Canada."

"Okay?" I never met the girl but I was adamantly against anything that hurt him, whether it was her choice or not. "Kip, you know she's not coming back here. She can't."

"I know that." He grumbled. Happy walked into the living room and handed me a bottle of water before sitting down next to me. "She doesn't want to tell me where she's going because she thinks I'll try and follow her. She said I just got patched in and I shouldn't throw everything away for her."

"She's probably fucking somebody." Happy said. I looked at him and shook my head. "What? She's not a nun. She was a fucking sweet butt when the kid met her."

"You get that the kid is the same age as your wife, right?" Kip snapped. Happy raised a middle finger towards him and picked up his beer. "Why did you need me to come over?"

"Well, I…I mean, we thought you should know about something that's going on." I suddenly felt nervous. If I was going to tell him about the pregnancy, I was going to have to tell him about the first one so that he understood why we weren't announcing it. He didn't seem to take news like that well. He was angry enough that I hadn't told him about being married. Happy put his hand on my thigh and gave it a light squeeze. "You're going to be an uncle."

"What?" He smiled brightly and leaned forward. "That's awesome! Why didn't you announce it at dinner? Am I the only one who knows? Is it a boy or a girl? Are you having twins?"

"Slow down." I laughed, feeling my tension easing a little. "You're the only person that knows besides Tara, she did the blood test for me. We had the first ultrasound today and there's only one baby. It's way too early to know the gender though."

"This doesn't leave this house, Kip. We don't want everyone else knowing yet." Happy said, addressing the question I had avoided. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second before trying to explain.

"When we were in Tacoma, I had a miscarriage in my second trimester. The doctor said everything looked okay today but I don't want to tell everyone and then lose the baby again." I bit my lip, waiting for him to yell about me keeping things from him. He blinked and sat silently for a couple minutes. I looked over at Happy and then back to Kip. "Kip?"

"Katerina, can you give us a second?" Kip said through gritted teeth. Happy sighed and sat his empty bottle on the table. Havoc must have noticed the change in mood because he walked up and sat at my feet.

"No, she can't. You want to say something go ahead." Happy leaned forward and I put my hand on his back, bracing for the worst.

"You left her when you knocked her up in Tacoma?" Kip's jaws were clenched and I could see a vein pulsing in his throat. Happy shook his head. "You left her when she lost the baby?"

"Leaving didn't have shit to do with our daughter and it doesn't have anything to do with you. If you're trying to piss me off, you're doing a good fucking job." Happy rasped. I moved my hand from his back to his bicep. I didn't want them to fight, not about the baby. Kip shook his head and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his kutte. "Don't light that in here."

"Happy isn't smoking near me." I explained when Kip furrowed his brow. He sighed and put the pack away. "Can we go back to smiling and being happy about the baby? Please?"

"When are you due?" Kip asked. I could tell he was still irritated but I was going to take what I could get.

"October. I'm going to be fat and pregnant all summer." I groaned, remembering how hot I got last time. Kip chuckled. When his chuckles grew to full out laughter, I narrowed my eyes. "What is so damn funny?"

"Thinking of you fat. You've always been tiny." He laughed, holding his stomach. I scoffed and looked at Happy.

"You're going to let him laugh at me?" I asked, half joking. He smirked and rubbed my thigh.

"I'm looking forward to it." He smiled. "Your boobs are going to be huge."

"Okay, no. Stop. I'm leaving now." Kip stopped laughing and covered his ears with his hands. I laughed and stood up to give him a hug goodbye. He hugged me gently and kissed the top of my head. "I'm happy for you, sis."

"Thanks." I stepped back and felt a weight lift off my shoulders. He nodded at Happy and saw himself out. "That didn't go as bad as I thought it would."

"Shouldn't worry so much." Happy scooped me up and carried me down the hallway, cutting off the lights with his elbow. He sat me on the bed instead of tossing me onto it like he normally did. "I know you're mad about the kiss before we left Gemma's."

"I'm not happy about it." I agreed. He nodded and took my boots off for me. I watched him take his kutte and holsters off before joining me on the bed. "You don't have to mark your territory, Happy. Everyone knows we're together and Juice would never disrespect that."

"That's what he said." He grumbled. I threw a leg over him and pulled him towards me. He moved closer, rolling onto his back.

"And? You think we rehearsed that shit or something?" I pursed my lips, waiting for his answer.

"No, I don't think you rehearsed that shit. I do trust you, Kat." He ran a hand through my hair and rested it on my neck.

"You have a funny way of showing it, Lowman." I sighed. "Do you really think you're going to like it when I'm super pregnant and fat?"

"I know I'm going to like it." He rolled to his side and looked me in the eyes. "Big boobs, big ass, belly holding my child. Yeah, Kat. I'm going to like it."

"You remember that when I have stretch marks and have to lose weight after it's born." I kissed his lips quickly and pulled back. "Will you get fat with me?"

"No." He laughed. "I'll work out with you after. My old ass has to be able to keep up with a kid."

"You keep calling yourself old and I'm going to stab you with your own knife." I threatened before kissing him again. He caught the back of my head before I could pull away again. I smiled and let him deepen the kiss.

"I need to stop by the pharmacy first, but I can bring it by," I insisted. A motorcycle part had mistakenly been delivered to our house instead of the garage and Happy was trying to find a prospect to pick it up. Since our first doctor's appointment, he was doing his best to keep me from doing much more than picking up around the house and helping Gemma with some filing and paperwork. He groaned, causing me to reflexively roll my eyes. "Happy. The part probably weighs less than a gallon of milk. Are you going to stop me from pouring my own milk in the mornings to?"

"Fine, bring the damn part over here." He laughed. I ended the call and started the Jeep, already running late. I had seen the doctor the day before and she had prescribed some vitamins and medicine for nausea but the pharmacy wasn't able to fill it until this afternoon. Happy and I were optimistic after getting a good report from the doctor and I wanted to make sure and do everything in my power to keep things going well.

When I parked at the pharmacy, I decided to leave the Jeep running since Havoc would be waiting in it. Crime in Charming was relatively low, so I didn't have many concerns about someone stealing it. The SAMCRO decal on the back would most likely keep any would be thieves at bay. Havoc moved to the front seat as I walked away. He looked silly hanging his head out of the driver's side window.

"Will that be all Mrs. Lowman?" The pharmacist asked before giving me the total. I nodded, smiling inwardly. I had finally gotten around to legally changing my name and was still getting used to hearing it from someone other than Happy. I paid for the medicine and walked out smiling until I saw a woman taking a picture of my Jeep. She put her phone in her pocket and turned away quickly when she saw me walking up.

"Can I help you?" I asked, setting my bag in the back seat. Her short blonde hair flared out as she shook her head. She looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place where I had seen her before. I told myself that she could have been taking a picture of Havoc, but I barely bought my own story. Before I pulled out of the parking lot, I sent Happy a quick text to let him know I was on my way.

When I pulled in, the lot was almost full of both motorcycles and cars. Havoc started pacing back and forth in the back seat, so I just stopped in the middle of the lot rather than try to find a place to park. Happy walked out of the garage and leaned into the Jeep. Havoc ignored him and continued pacing.

"Can I park here for a minute? He must need to use the bathroom or something." I said, shifting into park. Happy nodded and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"I've got to get back to work. Dog laid out of work so we're behind." Happy said as he got the box I had brought him. I stepped out and caught him smiling.

"Yeah, I know. I can't hide it much longer without wearing tents for shirts," I said, referring to the small baby bump that seemed to show up overnight. I was definitely showing sooner that last time. In Tacoma I had been able to hide any kind of bump until right before the miscarriage. I hoped it was a good sign but it probably had more to do with my lower body weight this time around.

Happy returned to the garage as I worked with Havoc. He seemed distracted and uneasy. It was the most unsettled I had seen him. I called him over to the grassy area behind the boxing ring, hoping that being further from the garage would help. He was reluctant to leave the parking lot. Finally, he sniffed around and marked a couple fence posts.

"Ay, Kat! I need to move this van sweetheart." Chibs called. I nodded and headed back to the Jeep. He leaned out of the van as I approached. "Ya look radiant, love."

"Are you already drunk?" I asked playfully. He laughed and shook his head, stepping out of the van. Havoc started whining and pacing again. Chibs raised an eyebrow.

"He's whiny today. I think he might be jealous." Chibs winked. I felt my cheeks blush instantly. "Don't worry. I won't say anything but I won't have to soon."

"Yeah, I know." Havoc had stopped pacing and sat down facing the van. His kept lifting his front feet nervously. Rex had the same silly habit. "Havoc, come!"

I grabbed Chibs by the front of his kutte and yanked him away from the van just as I heard a sickeningly familiar click. The force from the explosion sent me down to the pavement with Chibs falling right beside me. My ears rang so loudly I could only hear my own heartbeat. I felt hands on my arms and reopened my eyes. I could see a pair of black boots before everything faded away.

"She and the baby are both okay, Happy. They ran every test twice. She has a mild concussion and some scrapes. I promise they're okay." I recognized Tara's voice, even through the ringing. My head felt like it was splitting open.

"Ow." I groaned, opening my eyes slowly to try and adjust to the light without further hurting my head. Tara and Happy were standing on my right side. "I hate hospitals."

"I hate you being in hospitals, Kat." Happy said quietly. I managed a smile-like grimace. "They checked you both out."

"I heard." I choked out. I was maybe inches away from dying in a fucking car-bomb. My bottom lip started to tremble and my head started hurting even more. "Havoc?"

"He's fine. He was trying to drag you away from the van." Happy smiled. I slowly let out a deep breath. We were all okay. My family was whole. My eyes flew open. Chibs. "Hey, breathe. Chibs is fine. He sprained his wrist when he fell. You and that damn dog saved everybody."

"Are you sure the baby is okay?" Every tear seemed to hurt my head more and more. Happy nodded and kissed my forehead gently. I tried to slow my breathing and calm down.

"You can't be back here." Tara said. I opened my eyes and saw Agent Stahl standing just inside the room. I had heard about her from Juice and Tara. Happy insisted that she would never come near me and refused to talk about the ATF's investigation into the club. She looked every bit the bitch they had described her as.

"I can, actually. The doctor said Ms. Epps is stable." I felt Happy's hand twitch towards his belt. I shook my head just enough for him to notice.

"That isn't my name anymore." I said quietly. Speaking seemed to make my head hurt worse than listening to other people. She smirked.

"My apologies. How are you feeling?" I narrowed my eyes at her, refusing to honor that stupid question with an answer. She smiled, "Of course, you have to be in a lot of pain after almost being killed, again."

"You're upsetting her." Happy growled as my vitals started changing. I was holding my breath on purpose, knowing the pain would make my blood pressure go up. I stopped as soon as the monitor started beeping. Tara pushed past Stahl and silenced the machine.

"You need to leave," Tara snapped. Stahl eyed me suspiciously but didn't argue. I took slow, deep breaths as soon as she was out of sight. Tara shook her head with a little smile. "Nice trick."

"She got it from me," Kip laughed, walking into the room with two cups of coffee. Happy took a cup with a nod. "Couldn't stay away from explosives, could you?"

"Hilarious." I raised a middle finger at him. He shook his head and bounced on the balls of his feet. I could tell he was trying to cover up his fear with jokes. "I'm okay."

"Good. I'll postpone my murderous rampage." He rolled his eyes and fell into a chair by the door. "I'm seriously tired of seeing you in a hospital bed."

"Hopefully I won't be in another one until the baby is born." I agreed. "Does anyone else see Tig pushing a service cart or is that just me?"

"What are you doing?" Happy snapped, jerking the door open. I heard panting and caught a glimpse of a familiar looking tail sticking out from under the sheet. I snapped my fingers and Havoc popped his head out from under the sheet. Everyone laughed and he rushed off the cart, leaping onto the bed. "Good boy, Havoc."


	15. Chapter 15

My hand shook as I signed in with the receptionist. It had been a month since the explosion and I had felt increasingly uneasy about the baby ever since. We made it past the twenty-second week, which I had dreaded, but part of me was convinced something was wrong. If it wasn't for Tara talking me off the ledge a time or two, I would have gone to the emergency room at least twice.

"How far along are you?" A girl asked as she sat down a couple seats away. I looked up from the nail that I had been picking the polish off of and blinked for a second, trying to process her question. "I'm twelve weeks."

"Twenty-four," I glanced around the waiting room and then back at the girl. She looked young. "Sorry, how old are you?"

"Sixteen," she frowned and looked down at her scuffed-up tennis shoes. I resisted the urge to ask where in the hell her parent or guardian was. There was no way I could let my child go through something like that alone. I noticed her shift in her seat nervously. Looking up, I saw Happy walking towards us.

"Sorry, that took longer than it should have." Happy said, sitting down between the girl and I. She looked away from him quickly. "Are you okay?"

"Um, I don't know. I'm really nervous and my stomach feels odd." I started picking at the nail polish again. Happy put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me a little closer. "Maybe we can find out the gender today."

"I'm telling you it's a boy." He smiled. We had been debating and looking up old wife's tales in order to try and determine the gender. The last ultrasound, our baby was being stubborn and wouldn't cooperate. Happy said he was already taking after me. "I'm good with either one, babe."

"No, me to. I just want it to be healthy." I agreed. He nodded and rubbed my shoulder. The nurse called us back a few minutes later. When we walked by, I gave the young girl a quick smile. I hoped someone was on their way to be with her.

"I hate these tables." I told Happy as I climbed up and tapped the stirrups with my foot. He smirked, obviously holding back a laugh. "Don't even think about laughing right now."

The doctor came in a couple minutes later and went through the routine questions. She was glad to see that I had gained two pounds and wanted me to continue with two meal replacement shakes a day, one after breakfast and one after lunch. When she started the ultrasound, I reached out for Happy's hand. He held my hand firmly. When I heard the heartbeat, I managed to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Everything looks great. Look at those legs. They're going to take after Dad and be tall." The doctor laughed. I smiled over at Happy who was watching the screen intently. The doctor continued moving the wand around. "Do you still want to know the gender?"

"Yes." We said in unison. Happy smirked before staring at the screen again. A few seconds later, the doctor paused the wand and froze the image. I held my breath as she examined it closely.

"Congratulations, you two. This is one of the clearest scans we could ask for. You're going to have a little girl." The doctor said, pointing at the screen. My bottom lip started to quiver, despite my smile. Happy hugged me and I felt his breath catch. I couldn't look up at him. If I saw even a single tear in his eyes, I would lose it. "Now, Katerina, you said you've been feeling funny?"

"Yeah, I can't get settled and my stomach spasms sometimes." I looked away from Happy, knowing he wouldn't be pleased that I had kept the second part from him. The doctor pursed her lips and wiped the ultrasound gel off my stomach. I felt the spasm. "There it went."

"Then?" She smiled. "Dear, those aren't spasms. That's your baby kicking. Do you notice it happen more when you're talking or maybe when Happy is touching your stomach?"

"Yeah." Tears started to stream down my cheeks. Happy stepped forward and planted a kiss in my hair. "We, um, we never got to feel the baby kick last time."

"I see." She let the silence hang in the air for a couple minutes before taking my hand. "The kicking is going to get harder as she grows. You have a smaller frame so it may feel as if she's trying to break your ribs. Try to talk to her or get in a comfortable position if it starts to hurt, okay?"

"Thanks." Happy said with a nod when I failed to respond. I was trying to focus on the positive but I felt guilty. The doctor dismissed us but added that we could stay in the room for as long as we needed. "You're allowed to be happy, babe."

"It feels like I'm disrespecting the baby we lost." I sighed and shook my head. "I know that sounds crazy."

"No it doesn't," He kissed me gently and pressed his forehead onto mine. "We're having a little girl."

"We're having a little girl." I laughed, feeling a little better as I repeated the words. He smiled and kissed me again. "Let's get out of here."

"It's terrible. They drop her off and are never on time to pick her up. She's pretty much alone." The nurse was talking to the doctor in the hallway. I knew she had to be talking about the young girl I had spoke to in the waiting room. I caught Happy's arm before we left the office.

"Hey, can you swing by home and let Havoc out? I'm going to stay here for a little while." I looked up into his brown eyes and saw concern flash across his face. "I'm okay. There's just this kid. She's pregnant and all alone. I'm just going to make sure she has a way home."

"You're going to be a great mom, you know that?" He gave me a hug and kissed me with a smile. "If anything happens call me. Let me know when you leave."

"I will. I love you." I whispered. He squeezed my hand and answered his phone as he left the office. I settled down in a chair by the window and tucked my arms into the front pocket of Happy's hoody. He was entertained by how my stomach was starting to fill it out. I felt a small kick and smiled, feeling silly for not recognizing the difference in a kick and a spasm.

"Hey." I hoped the girl wouldn't think I was trying to scare her by hanging around for her to get out of the appointment. She smiled and wiped her cheeks dry.

"Is everything okay with your baby?" She asked, sitting next to me. I nodded and ran my hand over my stomach.

"Yeah. We found out it's a little girl." I smiled. She clapped excitedly and wiped her tears away again. "Did your appointment go okay?"

"Um, not really." Her bottom lip started to tremble and tears started falling faster. I felt terrible for making her more upset.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I sighed and took her hand, feeling a need to comfort her. "I'm Katerina but everyone calls me Kat. What's your name?"

"Ellen." She sniffled. I offered her a smile and hoped she wouldn't cry again. I realized it didn't make much sense for me to wait on a stranger in the waiting room, even less since she was just a kid. "My parents wanted me to ask them about an abortion. I couldn't do it. I don't know how I'm going to tell them."

"I'm sorry, Ellen." I couldn't imagine how hard the next six months would be for her, much less the next several years. I couldn't say that I wouldn't have at least considered an abortion if I was in her shoes. "You made a very grown-up decision alone. Not many adults can even do that."

"Ladies, we're needing to close up." The nurse said after Ellen and I had been talking for a while. I looked up at the clock, shocked that it was already a quarter after five. "Ellen, do you need us to try your parents again?"

"No, that's okay. I can walk or something." She shrugged. I shook my head and sent Happy a quick text. I knew he wouldn't want me taking her home but I couldn't let the poor girl walk.

"I can take you home, Ellen." She seemed hesitant. "Come on, it's Charming. How far can you live?"

"You really don't have to." She was staring at her shoes again. I gently caught her arm as we exited the building.

"I know I don't. I can though and I don't want you walking home alone." I said with a smile. She waited a minute and finally nodded her head. "What's your address?"

"Seventy-two Maple." She said it so quietly that I almost couldn't hear her. I knew the road but had never been there. It was the same road that the richest customers of Teller Morrow lived on. The people always came in with nearly brand-new luxury cars. It didn't make sense. Why did she have shoes that were held together by a thread if she lived in that part of town? I left the parking lot, still trying to wrap my head around it. "Um, is that the guy who was in the doctor's office?"

"Yeah, he's my husband." I didn't have to look in the mirror to recognize the sound of Happy's motorcycle. I had expected him to send a prospect to follow me. I noticed Ellen's shocked reaction and laughed. "What?"

"Nothing. I just didn't know people like them got married." I blinked, confused by her assumption. "My parents don't exactly sing the gang's praises."

"I see. So they make them out to be gang-bangers and womanizers?" I laughed. She shrugged a little, obviously embarrassed. "They're just a group of guys that love parties and motorcycles. Some of them look scary but they're good people."

I pulled up to Ellen's house and ground my teeth. It was a nice house, a very nice house. There was a newer looking Lexus and a large Mercedes in the driveway. Happy pulled up beside the Jeep and cut his motorcycle off. I gave him a shrug, unsure if Ellen was going to get out and go inside or not. He rolled his eyes and threw the kick stand down.

"Have they hurt you?" I watched Ellen shake her head. I wasn't completely convinced. She unbuckled the seat belt and sighed.

"They haven't hit me or anything. They can just be mean sometimes. They think I should be perfect and when I'm not they make sure I know it." She reached for the door handle and paused. "Thank you for today. It really meant a lot to not be alone for once."

"Hand me your phone. I'll give you my number. You can call me if you need a ride or something, okay?" She nodded and handed me her phone without hesitation. I saw the front door open and a middle-aged man step out onto the driveway. I handed the phone back with a small smile. "You better go before your dad calls the cops."

"You're probably right." She rolled her eyes and got out. I could hear her father yelling her name angrily. I had to force myself to leave and not get involved. It wouldn't be surprising if he had already called the police on Happy and I.

"What are they up to?" I asked Kip as he flipped through the television channels. He had already made it through all of the channels twice. I knew he was worried about something and I knew his visit wasn't simply brotherly love. Happy had called several hours ago saying he was tied up with something and told me not to expect him home until late. Two hours later, Kip showed up in a funny mood.

"They're going to get intel. It's fine." Kip didn't stop changing the channels. I finally snatched the remote out of his hand and turned the tv off. "Kat, that's all I can tell you. I'm sure Happy will fill you in when he gets home."

"If they were just getting intel, you wouldn't be babysitting me. Is someone watching Tara to?" I folded my arms across my chest and waited. Kip sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, Phil is with her and Gemma." I scoffed and bit my bottom lip. I knew what his answer would be before I even asked but it would have been nice to be wrong. "Don't worry, Kat. They'll be okay."

"Great, they'll be okay. I feel all better now." I snapped. Havoc nuzzled my hand and scooted closer to me. I sighed and raised my arm, knowing he wanted to lay his head on my lap. Kip fiddled with his dog tag nervously. "You know you would still have me if anything ever happened to Happy, right?"

"Yeah, I know." I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to think about being a widow or a single parent. I handed Kip the tv remote. "Find something and stop flipping through the channels."

We sat on the couch and tried to watch some movie from the nineties that Kip had finally landed on. I couldn't make myself concentrate on it but it was enough of a distraction to keep me from worrying myself sick. I nearly jumped off the couch when Kip's phone finally started ringing. Havoc scooted closer; nearly his entire body was laying on me. I watched Kip closely for some type of reaction.

"Fucking hell." Kip shook his head and avoided making eye contact with me. I hugged Havoc to me and waited, wondering just how bad the news was. Something was definitely wrong with Happy. If he was okay, he would have called me or at least texted. Kip closed his eyes after ending the call. "No one's hurt but they got picked up. Opie thinks it was all a set up."

"What are the charges?" I felt tears starting to roll down my cheeks. Kip shook his head and told me they didn't know yet. He explained how they had gone to what they believed to be a L.O.A.N meeting. The call was made to go in instead of just observe and they got burned. Instead of walking into a blue collar KKK meeting, they busted into a building full of families having some type of church gathering. Opie said he heard shots popping off and the police were there in a matter of seconds.

"Kat, where are you going?" Kip reached for my arm but I yanked it away. "You're six months pregnant, what are you doing?"

"Yeah, I'm six months pregnant and my husband could go to prison until our kid is old enough to drink. I'm going to see what's going on." I jerked Havoc's lead off the hook on the wall and grabbed my car keys.

"Oh, yeah taking your attack dog is going to make things easy." Kip rolled his eyes and followed me outside.

"He's an emotional support dog. I have a certificate from my therapist." I retorted. Getting that prescription and certificate had been Juice's idea. With that, I didn't have to worry about Havoc not being allowed to go places dogs weren't allowed.

"Okay, great you have an emotional attack dog. What's the plan?" Kip got into the passenger seat and jerked the keys out of my hand.

"I'm going to nicely ask them what the charges are and demand that I speak to Happy." I ran my hand under the dash, feeling for the spare key. Kip shook his head.

"Kat, I've known you for our entire lives. You're going to go in there and get yourself arrested. Just let the club handle this." Kip pleaded. I laughed at his ridiculous suggestion.

"Let the club handle it? You realize the majority of the club is in jail, right? You realize they're in jail because of the club?" I started crying and could barely even understand the words coming out of my mouth anymore. Havoc whined and started pacing in the back seat. "I can't lose him, Kip. Please."

"Kat, I'm sorry." Kip pulled me into his arms and let me cry onto his shoulder. He stroked my hair and held me tightly. "We don't know how bad it is, right? They've gotten out of tighter jams."

"You don't understand. Zobelle and his people have connections. They have the money to buy judges." I balled my hands into fists and shook my head slowly. "They've won."

Kip must have agreed because he didn't try to convince me I was wrong anymore. He just held me until I stopped crying and then helped me to bed. Havoc must have picked up on what was going on. He was attached to my hip until I got into bed.

"Come on." I patted the bed, inviting him up. If Happy wasn't coming home, he wouldn't get to complain about Havoc sleeping in the bed. He laid his head on my stomach and huffed. "Yeah, I agree."

"I've got to head over to the clubhouse. Do you want me to send someone over here?" Kip asked, leaning inside the room. I shrugged. "Okay. Well, I'll be back later."

"Whatever." He frowned but left without responding. I didn't want to be around anyone, including Kip. I just wanted to go back twelve hours and tell Happy not to go to the damn meeting. I just wanted to know that I wasn't going to raise our child alone.

***Thanks for all of your continued support! I'm planning on another 4-5 chapters in this story. I'm contemplating a second part but haven't made up my mind yet. In any case, thanks!***


	16. Chapter 16

Tara and Gemma looked up as I walked into the clubhouse. They were meeting with the club's lawyer and no one seemed happy. Havoc jumped up on a couch and laid down with a yawn. I didn't sleep the night before, so neither did he. Tara stepped away from Gemma and the lawyer and approached me slowly. I took a seat at the bar and looked at the bottles of alcohol longingly.

"How are you holding up?" Tara took the seat next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. I took a deep breath and held it in for a few seconds. "Did you sleep last night?"

"No." I imagined I looked like death warmed over. My hair was in a loose, messy bun and I didn't bother putting any make-up on, despite a serious need for some concealer. I didn't have to turn my head and look at Tara to know she was frowning. "What's their bail set at?"

"Three-million total." I scoffed at Tara's answer and finally turned towards her. She looked tired. It dawned on me that I wasn't the only one going through this. My bottom lip trembled as tears filled my eyes. I looked up at the fluorescent light to burn away the tears, refusing to cry again. Tara put her hand on my shoulder again and gave it a little squeeze. "I'm sorry, Kat. We're trying to get up enough money for a bondsman but..."

"But it's three hundred thousand and we're not exactly rolling in cash. I know." I pulled myself together and stood up. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Um, sure." Tara attempted a smile but it didn't come through. Walking into the kitchen, I braced myself on the counter and tried to catch my breath. Three hundred thousand dollars. How were we ever going to find that? How were they going to survive until we did? Happy had told me about the inner-workings of prison life back when we were dating in Tacoma. He said the most important thing was to stick with your race, that way you had protection. Without protection, your chances of making it out on your own two feet were slim. I knew that was going to be an issue, thanks to Zobelle. White-hate groups pretty much ran California prisons and Zobelle had a direct line to them. I wished Happy would have been in there alone, at least then he could have had Latinos watching his back. Unfortunately, he wouldn't have that option. He would never leave the club hanging and the Latinos would never protect the club, they had too much bad history with the Mayans.

"Hey, are you okay?" I looked up to see Juice standing in front of me. I hadn't heard him come in, but my mind was a little loud. "Here. Sit down."

"I'm fine." I muttered, sitting down on the crate he had gotten me. Juice squatted down and looked me in the eyes. "They have no protection."

"Come on, they've got Happy and Tig." Juice smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. I shook my head. We both knew that wouldn't be enough. "They'll figure something out, Kat. Clay got a message to Gemma, okay? None of them are rookies in there. They know what to do."

"Sure but they're outnumbered." I wasn't able to be optimistic. I stood to leave and the ground started warping beneath my feet. Juice caught me just before I lost my balance completely. As soon as his arms wrapped around me, I started crying. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Juice sighed when I stepped away. His adam's apple jumped as he straightened his kutte. "They'll be okay. We'll get the money to bail them out."

"Okay." I noticed how serious and rigid Juice had gotten. It was like a switch flipped when I had stepped out of his arms. "I'm about to make coffee. Do you want some?"

"No, thanks." Juice left the kitchen. I told myself not to overthink his change in mood. He and the other members that weren't locked up were under a lot of pressure to keep things running and get the guys out. It had nothing to do with me, nothing to do with feelings that I had told Happy were a figment of his imagination. Juice was a friend and he saw me as a friend, nothing more.

My hands were full with mugs of hot coffee when Havoc started barking. I hurried as carefully as I could, knowing he wouldn't listen if anyone else told him to back down. In the main room, Agent Stahl and Deputy Chief Hale were on the receiving end of Havoc's rage. I saw Hale's hand move towards his gun. Havoc took a step forward and started snapping his teeth with every bark.

"I wouldn't try that." I told Hale as I set the mugs down on the bar. Havoc repositioned himself so he was directly between me and the two intruders. "He's a trained protection dog. If you want him to listen to me, you'll want to take your hand off your holster."

"Or we could put the dog down right now." Stahl said with a glare. I smiled and walked towards her.

"Don't you have enough innocent blood on your hands?" I noticed Hale had taken his hand away from his gun. "Havoc, enough."

"Thanks." Hale said, clearing his throat. Havoc had stopped immediately and moved to my side. "Agent Stahl here needs to talk to Gemma."

"Sorry, haven't seen her." I shrugged with an exaggerated smile. Stahl stepped forward and Havoc started to growl. She stopped.

"Really? Her car is outside and you have three mugs of coffee." Stahl's lips curled upwards. I scratched the back of Havoc's head and let Stahl fume. It was entertaining to see her get flustered. "Have you decided how to tell your child that their daddy won't get out of prison until they're twenty?"

"Stahl, that's enough." Hale said, stepping forward. I felt a strange calm wash over me as a wicked grin spread across my face. "Katerina, let Gemma know we need to talk to her. We'll leave now."

"Have you decided what's going to go on your tombstone, Agent Stahl? Is there even anyone that would read it?" I watched her hands ball up while Havoc growled louder. "I'll tell Gemma you're looking for her, Hale. Please take your dog outside before mine gets upset."

"You, stupid bitch. I could charge you with threatening a federal agent." Stahl jerked her arm away from Hale and stepped towards me.

"There were no threats. Just a friendly question." I turned my back to her, trusting that Havoc would stop her if she tried follow me. Stahl and Hale bickered for a moment before leaving the clubhouse. I crossed the room and tapped on the double doors. Gemma was sitting in Clay's chair when Tara pulled the doors open. "Your coffee is getting cold."

"How did you know we were in here?" Tara asked with a light laugh.

"When I came out of the kitchen Havoc was standing between the double doors and our friendly law enforcement visitors." I got a rawhide from the jar beneath the counter and tossed it over to him. He caught it and started hopping around playfully. Tara opened her mouth to speak but stopped when Opie burst in the door. He walked into the room Tara and Gemma had just left. A moment later, he emerged with a roll of cash.

"Clay just called." He explained, dropping the money into his pocket. Gemma stepped towards him.

"On a cell?" She looked hopeful. Opie nodded. "Are they okay?"

"For now. I've got to go. Can you pick up the kids from school?" He pulled his kutte off and folded it in half. Gemma nodded and Opie left without another word.

None of us spoke much after Opie left. Tara eventually left for work after telling me to call her if I needed anything. Then, Gemma told me to get some rest and said she would be back later. It was just Havoc and I left in the clubhouse. I hated how quiet it was. What made it worse was thinking about how long it was going to be quiet after the majority of the club went to prison. I took a seat on the couch with Havoc and ran my hand over my stomach, wishing I could change things for my family. Our daughter wasn't even born and she was already going through a tragedy.

The next three days were a blur. I distracted myself by cleaning and working with Havoc on some advanced commands and movements. Kip had insisted on staying in our guest bedroom until Happy got home and he tried to convince me to rest. He eventually gave up and made me promise to stay off any ladders and avoid heavy lifting. I knew he was trying to help but I was frustrated. When Gemma called to tell me, she had gotten the money for their bail, I barely registered what she had said. Once it finally hit me, I couldn't decide if I was angry, happy or a combination of the two.

"Hey baby." Happy broke off from the rest of the group that was walking to the clubhouse. I shoved him and turned to walk away, too angry and confused about my emotions to properly welcome him home. He caught my arm but didn't try to pull me back. My chest heaved with a sob. "Baby."

"How could you do this?" I sobbed, pressing my forehead into his chest. Happy wrapped his arms around me and let me get it all out. I cursed him through my tears and told him I hated him. He just held me. After calling him ever foul name I could think of, I looked up at him. His eyes were wet but he wasn't crying. "I love you, Happy."

"I know you do, baby. I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen." He shook his head. I sighed and gently stopped him with my hands caressing his face. He closed his eyes until I kissed him. I waited for him to deepen it, but he didn't. I swallowed all of my fears and anger down.

"Let's go home. Whatever you need to do can wait until tomorrow. Please." My voice cracked and he shook his head. "Please don't do this. Don't leave me because you think it will protect me."

"I'm not, Kat. I'm not leaving you until they drag me away in cuffs but I can't go home yet, baby. Give me an hour and I promise we'll go." He kissed me and looked into my eyes as he pulled back. "Kat?"

"Okay." I heard the shake in my voice. Happy frowned and looked over his shoulder. Tig was standing in the doorway, obviously waiting for him. "Go ahead. I'll be out here."

"I love you, baby." Happy kissed me again before leaving me standing in the middle of the parking lot. I regretted leaving Havoc at home. We could have played fetch or tug while Happy was held up with the club. I didn't bring him because I knew he would get over excited when he saw Happy.

"Let's go." I looked up and noticed how tense Happy was. Without hesitation, I walked over to the jeep and followed him home. Havoc was already barking and jumping when Happy got off his bike. Had it been a better homecoming, seeing his head pop up in the window and then disappear over and over would have been funny. Happy opened the door and squatted down, letting Havoc lick him and crawl into his arms. "Hey, buddy, hey."

Havoc eventually calmed down and started chewing on his rope as Happy and I sat on the couch. I offered to get him a beer but he insisted I stay on the couch. He walked out to the garage for a couple minutes before returning and going into the kitchen and getting a beer and a bottle of water.

"I messed shit up when we got married, Kat. I should have asked you differently and given you a wedding or something." Happy opened his beer and took a long drink. I shook my head but he raised his hand to stop me from responding. "I want to make it up to you, Kat."

"Happy, it's in the past." I stopped when he reached inside his kutte and pulled out a velvet box. "What did you do?"

"I got this a few months ago. I wanted to give it to you on our anniversary but I don't know if I'll be out or not." He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Sorry it's taken me this long to get you a ring."

"You didn't have to do this." I said, opening the box. I wasn't sure if my finger was large enough for the ring. There was a large, oval solitaire on a thin band of smaller diamonds. There was also a matching, diamond band. "Happy, this is too much."

"No, it isn't." He finished the beer and ran his palm over my leg. Considering how expensive court and lawyer fees were going to be, I didn't want to think about how much he'd paid for the rings. I swallowed hard and slid the rings on my finger, smiling at the perfect fit. "Do you like it?"

"Of course, I do, Happy. I would have been just as happy with a plastic ring from a Cracker Jack box. You know that, right?" I moved to his lap and laced my fingers together behind his neck. He nodded and kissed my neck, trailing kisses down my chest until he ran into my shirt. He smiled and put his hands on either side of my stomach. The baby started kicking and wiggling. "She's glad you're home. She hasn't moved this much in days."

"So the dog and the baby are glad I'm home?" Happy smirked. I laughed and moved his hands down to my butt.

"Your wife is glad you're home too." I whispered into his ear. I nipped his ear lobe and pulled back with a smile. He didn't wait for any clearer invitation. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Happy was gentle and took his time with every kiss, every touch and every thrust. He watched me closely and even paused just to look me in the eyes several times. It was like he was trying to commit everything to memory. As my body pulsed with pleasure, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. Happy gingerly brushed the tears away with his thumbs and frowned.

"I'm sorry." I moved my eyes away from him and tried to get a grip on my emotions. He shook his head and rubbed my stomach in soft, slow circles. "It's just hormones."

"No it isn't, Kat and that's okay. After what I've done to you, I'm surprised you'll even look at me." He sighed and turned his eyes down to my stomach. "I swore I'd never be like my piece of shit old man. Now I'm leaving just like he did."

"Happy, stop. You're nothing like the man you've told me about." I pulled his chin up and waited until he looked at me. "Did you go into that building so you didn't have to be a father? Did you get arrested to hurt me?"

"Of course not." He snapped. I nodded. After a moment he sighed and gently kissed my lips. I watched him leave the bed and pull on a pair of sweat pants. "I'm going out back to smoke."

"Okay." I managed a tiny smile before he turned away. I dreaded going to sleep because I knew things were going to be different in the morning. We would have to talk about plans and start preparing for the worst. Happy walked back in the bedroom and tossed my phone on the bed. He kept his left hand extended behind him but I could still smell the cigarette. My phone started vibrating.

"Kat? It's Ellen. I'm sorry for calling you this late." I barely understood her through the sobbing. She spoke quickly.

"Hey hold on, hold on. You're talking to fast. You said your boyfriend and your dad got into a fight?" I pushed the covers off and started looking for my panties. She started talking quickly and slurring her words together through tears. "Are you okay?"

"I can't stay here. Dad's drunk and I'm scared. I don't know who else to call." She stopped talking and cried harder. Happy returned to the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe.

"Give me fifteen minutes." I stepped into a pair of yoga pants and grabbed a sweatshirt. Happy caught my arm as I walked by to find a pair of shoes. "Remember the girl from the doctor's office? Her father's drunk and got into a fight with her boyfriend. I couldn't understand much but she's scared, Hap."

"I'm driving." He didn't ask any questions or try to talk me out of getting involved. I nodded and stepped into my sandals. Havoc whined when he noticed we were leaving again. Happy stopped and scratched his head. "We'll be right back. Don't eat the couch."

I started questioning myself as Happy drove towards Ellen's house. Why was I getting involved? Were her parents going to tell the cops we kidnapped her? Part of me wanted to tell Happy to turn around and go home. We had enough going on without saving a pregnant teenager from a fight with her parents.

"What are you doing?" I braced myself as Happy slammed on the breaks. We were just over a mile from Ellen's house and Happy had stopped in the middle of the street. He pointed towards the side of the road. "Ellen! You could have been run over."

"I wish." She scoffed. I frowned and turned back to look at her as she got in the backseat. "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't." Happy said, turning the Jeep around. I offered her a smile before turning back towards the front of the car. Happy put his hand on my thigh and nodded. The ride home was quiet aside from the occasional sniffle from Ellen. I wasn't sure what the plan was after we got home, but I refused to make her go back to where she didn't feel safe. I helped the young girl out of the back seat and Happy grabbed her back pack.

"Havoc, place." I didn't even open the door before sending him to bed. He could get pushy with new people, especially on his turf. Ellen looked a little nervous as she stepped inside. Havoc didn't leave his bed, but he watched her closely. "He can be protective."

"Does he bite?" Ellen swallowed hard and stepped away from Havoc. Happy nodded and sat her back pack beside the couch.

"Any drugs or weapons in your bag?" Happy folded his arms across his chest and watched for a reaction. Ellen shook her head quickly. "Want to try that again?"

"I have a couple joints but they're my boyfriend's." Ellen didn't look at Happy. He nodded and walked into the kitchen. I heard the refrigerator open and close before he returned with a beer.

"I'm taking a shower, babe. I'll see you in bed." Happy kissed my cheek and walked down the hallway. Ellen seemed to relax a little once the bedroom door closed.

"So, what happened?" I motioned towards the couch so she would stop standing in the middle of the living room. I could tell it was making Havoc anxious. She sat on the far end of the couch and sighed.

"Tony came over and we told Mom and Dad that we were going to keep the baby." She shook her head and pushed her hair out of her face. "I never told them I didn't go through with the abortion."

"I see. Your dad hit Tony or what?" I knew her family drama had little to do with me but I needed to understand what happened so I could decide what to do next. She twisted her mouth. "Look, you called me for help. I at least need to know the truth."

"Mom and Dad started yelling and they told Tony to leave. He said he wasn't going to leave if they kept yelling at me. That's when Dad tried to force him out of the house. They started arguing and then fighting. I tried to stop them but I didn't want the baby to get hurt." She rubbed her stomach and frowned. "Tony left when Dad threatened to call the police."

"How old is Tony?" I had a feeling there was more to the story. "I'm not defending what happened, I'm just trying to see both sides."

"He just turned nineteen. Dad said he would have him arrested for rape if he didn't leave me alone." She started to cry again. I wasn't sure what to say. Her parents should have supported her more but I could only imagine what Happy would do if someone got our daughter pregnant. "I'm sorry for bothering you."

"It's kind of nice to have a distraction from my own shit. I'm going to be honest with you though, this isn't permanent, not even long term. I want to help you but I can't support a teenager and another baby." I took a deep breath and watched her frown. "You can crash here for a few days."

"Can Tony come over?" She bit her lip and waited for my answer. I wanted to say yes but I also didn't want to be an accomplice to statutory rape.

"It's better if he doesn't." I expected her to argue or try to convince me otherwise, but she just frowned and nodded. I stood up and motioned down the hall. "Come on, I'll show you the guest room."

I made sure she had a few towels and an extra blanket before leaving her to get settled. She had thanked me several times and promised not to be a burden. It wasn't until I got to bed that I realized how exhausted I was. Havoc settled in on his bed at the foot of the bed as I crawled under the covers.

"Think she'll cause any trouble?" Happy asked, wrapping his arm around me. I shook my head. "She's lucky. I would have already killed the prick that knocked my daughter up."

"Even if she loved him?" I asked with a little laugh.

"Especially if she thought she loved him. I'm not losing my little girl to some dumb kid who doesn't know how to use a condom." He leaned forward and kissed my stomach with a smile. "She'll be too smart for that shit."

"Hap?" I felt my throat starting to get tight and my chest started rising and falling rapidly. He looked up at me and immediately pulled me closer. "I can't do this without you. We haven't even picked a name yet."

"Baby, I'm going to do everything I can to miss as little as possible." He kissed my forehead and held me tight. "What about Katelyn?"

"Um, I don't know. It's a little boring." He laughed and I felt my tears starting to slow down. "What? Our names aren't John and Jane. I don't want our daughter to have a boring name."

"So, what? You want to name her Esmerelda or something?" He laughed. I mouthed the name silently a couple times before shaking my head. "I was kidding, Kat."

"What about Camila?" I smiled up at him as he paused to think about it. "We could call her Cami for a nickname."

"Just sounds a little old. Carina?" He asked, slowly rubbing my arm. I smiled and repeated the name a couple times. "Yeah?"

"I love it." I nodded. He smiled and moved to press his lips on my stomach. I winced as she kicked out.

"You've got a good Mom, Carina. You're going to be beautiful, just like her." He smirked as she kicked his hand that was resting on the bottom of my bump. "You're feisty like your dad, huh?"


	17. Chapter 17

"Do we have to do family dinner?" I asked Happy as I tried on another pair of jeans. He was going to be busy with the club for most of the day but Gemma was insistent that we have a family dinner for the guys coming home a few days ago. Happy sighed with a nod. I rolled my eyes. "Too bad Ellen isn't here anymore, it would have been a good excuse to stay home."

"Have you heard from her?" He finished loading his spare magazine and put it in his pocket.

"Yeah, apparently her dad left the country for work. He'll be gone for a few weeks and her mom wants to fix shit. Ellen said she's not pushing for an abortion anymore but she wants her to at least talk to an adoption agent." I threw the jeans in a pile of several other too small jeans and walked back into the closet to try again. "I'm just going to give up on pants."

"They make maternity pants, babe." He held his hands up innocently after catching my glare. "You're almost seven months. I don't know what you expect."

"Says the man." I snapped. He laughed and pulled me into a hug. I kissed him and squeezed his butt. "Take care of yourself today."

"I will, baby mama." He smirked when I smacked his arm. "I'm going to pick you up by eight."

"Doesn't the dinner start at eight?" I asked with a laugh. He nodded.

"The later we are the less drama I have to listen to." He pulled his kutte on and stretched his arms high above his head. "I love you."

"I love you too." I pulled on a pair of his sweat pants, earning a laugh from him. "I'll change before dinner. Maybe."

"Beautiful either way." He said over his shoulder. I felt my cheeks redden with a blush. I picked up the laptop and headed to the couch. We were getting closer to October and had yet to buy any furniture for the nursery. Havoc brought his rope and laid next to me.

"Hello?" I cradled the phone as I entered my credit card information to finish buying a crib and changing table.

"Kat? This is Lyla. Can you come down here? I can't find Nana." I didn't ask any questions. I clicked confirm and tossed the laptop onto the pillow beside me. Havoc abandoned his rope and rushed to the garage door. I grabbed the first-aid kit I kept for him and stepped into a pair of boots on my way out.

Nana was a three-year-old German Shepherd that Jax had bought for the porn studio. He wanted them to have a guard dog and had asked me to help him find one that wouldn't scare the girls. Nana was large but she was very calm. She wasn't as high strung as Havoc but she knew how to work. I worked with her for several weeks, brushing up on her commands before introducing her to the studio. I still hated the club's connection to porn but I tolerated Lyla and I loved Nana.

"Whoa, Kat." Opie jumped to the side as I slid the jeep to a stop. Havoc didn't bother waiting on an open door and leapt out of the back. Lyla was just outside and crying into her hands. I pushed past Jax and walked into the studio. Havoc was several paces in front of me. When I saw him lay down with his head on his paws, I knew something was wrong. He whimpered and I covered my mouth to keep my breakfast down.

"Who did this." I asked Jax as he walked up beside me. My fists were so tight, I felt my nails digging into my palms. He shook his head and squeezed my shoulder. "Who fucking did it?"

"Kat, I'm sorry. They shouldn't have called you." Jax frowned. I turned away from Nana's body and closed my eyes. I still saw her. "I'll have Kip come follow you home."

"Someone brutally murdered an innocent dog, Jax. At least tell me who did it." I snapped. Luann stepped up and put her hands on her hips.

"Georgie killed her and took my laptop." She fussed. I felt nauseous. "That laptop has raw footage worth thousands."

"Fuck your laptop." I shook my head and looked down at Havoc. His ears were low and I could tell he was heartbroken. He had loved playing with Nana when she stayed with us. I squatted down to give him a hug and he just laid his head on my shoulder with a little whimper. I took a deep breath and walked away from Jax and Luann. They were discussing the laptop and I didn't care to hear any more. I saw Lyla outside with Opie. "Where's Georgie's studio?"

She gave me the address quickly. Opie called after me but I was already getting in the jeep. Havoc laid down in the back seat and put his head on his paws. It broke me to see him like that. I couldn't understand how some evil son of a bitch could hurt an animal like that.

"Can I help you, sweetheart?" A man with sandy blonde hair asked. I noticed his pinky ring and opened dress shirt.

"Are you Georgie?" I asked with a smile that made me sick to my stomach. His brow raised as he nodded. "Is there some place private we can talk?"

"There's not much market for maternity films, sweetie. Why don't you come back when you lose the baby weight?" He motioned towards the door behind me. I nodded and pushed the door open a few inches. Havoc slipped in and immediately went for Georgie with ears back and teeth snapping.

"Why did you kill her?" I asked over Havoc's barking. Georgie turned and tried to run down a hallway. I told Havoc to go and shortly heard loud screaming. I rounded the corner and Georgie was on the ground. Havoc had a hold of his arm and was shaking it violently. "Havoc, release."

"Are you fucking crazy?" He scrambled to his feet and went for the door behind him. I rolled my eyes and motioned for Havoc to go again. He jumped and grabbed Georgie's other arm. Georgie managed to stay on his feet and kicked out at Havoc. I pulled my gun out of my bag and aimed it at his chest.

"Havoc, heel." He moved to my side quickly, panting with his bloodied tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. Georgie's right arm was spurting blood. "Looks like he found an artery. Do you want me to right 'dead bastard' above your body?"

"Kat!" I recognized Jax's voice and rolled my eyes. Georgie moved quickly, grabbing his right arm and trying to apply pressure. "Holy shit."

"Jax! Help me and I'll pay you. I just sold a movie. Please." Georgie begged. Havoc growled as Jax stepped towards me.

"Kat, you shouldn't be here. We'll finish this, okay? You don't have to do this." Jax slowly brought his hand up towards my gun and I let him push my hands down. "Go outside with Half-sack, please."

"He'll die in about twenty minutes." I put the gun in my bag and patted my leg, telling Havoc to follow me. He hesitated for a moment but fell into step beside me. Kip was standing at the front door.

"Shit, Kat." He pulled a bandana out of his kutte and handed it over to me. "His fur is going to stain if you don't wipe the blood off."

"Yeah, I guess the groomer would have questions." I wiped Havoc's muzzle off, much to his displeasure. He tossed his head around a little until I pulled a dog biscuit out of my bag.

"Kat, you could have been hurt. You and the baby." Kip said quietly. I sighed and offered him the bandana back. "You can burn it."

"Her name is Carina." I said as we walked outside. He blinked, not understanding what I meant. "Your niece, her name is Carina."

"I like it." He nodded with a smile. I rubbed my stomach and realized that he was right. I put us both in danger. Luckily, it went my way. "You finally thinking about this shit?"

"Yeah. I guess I should have let you all deal with it." I admitted. He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm guessing there's no chance this won't get back to Happy?"

"Nope. Even if I didn't tell him, Jax would." Kip laughed. I knew he would be livid that I had gotten involved and went after Georgie. Hopefully he would let me blame it on the hormones.

"Any ideas how to fix this shit?" Jax said, storming out of the building. "He's dead and there's probably evidence everywhere."

"Can someone go to my house?" Everyone turned to look at me quizzically. "I need Havoc there and the bombs here."

"Bombs?" Opie blinked and let out a little laugh. I shrugged. Jax sighed and pushed his hair out of his face.

"You have to know how to make bombs to find and diffuse bombs." I shrugged. "I wasn't EOD but I know enough."

"I'll take him home and grab the stuff." Kip offered. I nodded and handed Havoc's lead to him. Of the three of them, Kip was probably the best choice to take Havoc home.

"I'm going to go in and take care of the cameras. I wouldn't be surprised if they're uploaded to the cloud. You two can go if you want." I offered. Jax shook his head and the two of them followed me back inside. I stepped over Georgie's body and walked into the office he had been trying to get to. I checked the drawers and found a desert eagle. I held it up to Jax, "Want this?"

"Sure." He rolled his eyes. "I wish you would have let me handle this, Kat. I get that you know what you're doing but you're also carrying my brother's kid."

"Yeah, I know." I was dreading the argument with Happy. "You could not tell him?"

"I like my head on my shoulders." He laughed. I groaned and got back to the task at hand. Georgie was still logged into the computer, so it was easy to get into the camera system and wipe the footage. Jax sat on the desk and set Georgie's gun beside him. "I'm sorry Happy got arrested with us. It wasn't supposed to go down like that."

"I appreciate that." I turned the computer off and leaned back in the chair. "I'm sorry for killing your porn competition."

"Eh, I was considering doing it. Hap know you've got bombs in your house?" I laughed and nodded, explaining that they weren't assembled yet. "Maybe we can tell him we were here when it happened. He'll still be pissed but at least it won't be at just one of us."

"Nah, I can't lie to him. Besides, your pretty face is already pretty banged up." I smiled as he chuckled. A few minutes later, Kip showed up with the wooden crate I kept under the back porch. He brought it inside and set it down carefully. "They're dismantled, chill."

"Are you sure this isn't going to be traced back to you?" Kip asked. I nodded and lifted the charging device as proof.

"This is super generic and super flammable." I explained how simple the construction was and how much harder that would make it on any arson investigator. "Just trust me."

"Shit." Jax said as heavy black smoke rose high into the air. We were several miles away when the bombs went off. I had insisted we pull off the road to make sure everything went off as planned. I wasn't the best at delayed explosions. I nodded and started the jeep. The easy part was over. I would have to explain everything to Happy and that was worse than anything that had happened in the past six hours.

"Hey babe, have I told you how sexy you are recently?" I asked as Happy walked inside. He dropped his kutte on the coat rack and shook his head. I twisted my mouth, wishing I would have taken Jax's offer to share the blame. "Are you going to talk to me?"

"Yep." He nodded and removed his shoulder holster and the Glock from his belt. I swallowed hard and took a step towards him. "Is it going to fall back on you?"

"No, I wiped the cameras and the bombs aren't traceable. It will probably look like a gas leak." I braced myself for the argument. He nodded and turned away from me. I sighed and followed him into the bedroom. "Don't we have to go to Gemma's?"

"Do you know what would have happened if you and our kid died during that shit today?" He sat on the bed and looked up at me. I frowned, wishing he would just yell and be angry. "I would have nothing, Kat. You always tell me to be careful and bitch at me for sticking my neck out, then you pull this shit."

"I just kind of lost it, Happy. That dog was innocent and that piece of shit mutilated her." I shook my head, unable to get the image out of my mind.

"Our kid is innocent, Kat. You should have called me or waited for me. I could have gotten the same results for you without putting our daughter in danger." He clinched his fist and I saw the vein in his temple start to pulsate. "Next time you want to try and get yourself killed, go ahead and kill me first."

"Happy." I felt about two inches tall. I never wanted to hurt him or our daughter. "I'm sorry."

"I guess we're even." He sighed. I leaned down and kissed him softly. He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss and bringing me onto the bed with him. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. "I don't want to leave you, Kat. I sure as hell don't want to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere. I don't care if it's one month or twenty years. I love you and we'll both be here when you come home." I kissed his cheeks between every sentence. He nodded and carefully rolled me onto my back. "So, we're skipping dinner?"

"Yeah, we are." He confirmed. I couldn't say I was disappointed. Makeup sex was rough but he was careful. His thrusts were hard and he kept his hand around my throat but he didn't apply any pressure. He kept me on the verge of finding my release for an eternity. When he finally pushed me over the edge, I could barely breathe from the pleasure.

"You missed a terrible dinner last week." Tara said as I walked inside her house. I was watching Abel so she could take care of a few things at the hospital. The original plan was to have Gemma watch him but, Tara had said she was under the weather.

"Yeah?" I paused and grabbed at my stomach as Carina kicked out violently. I tried to breathe through it but my ribs felt like they were going to explode. Tara frowned and helped me to the couch. "I'm fine. Sorry."

"I'm cancelling my appointments. You can't pick Abel up all day, Kat. When did it start hurting this much?" Tara was in doctor mode. I breathed through another volley of kicks and shook my head. "Have you had any bleeding?"

"No. The doctor said this would probably happen because-"I winced and gripped the side of the couch, "because of my size versus hers."

"Does Happy know?" She asked, pursing her lips. She already knew the answer so I didn't bother responding. "I haven't seen your scans or labs but I really think you should be on bed rest, at least modified bed rest."

"I can't be on bedrest right now. Happy has enough to worry about." I caught my breath and starting breathing a little slower. Tara frowned and put her hand on my ribs. I hissed and jerked away from her.

"Your ribs are bruised at the very least." She said. I nodded, knowing that for days. "Are you still having sex?"

"Don't even think about telling me I can't have sex with my man when he's going to prison soon." I shook my head and rubbed my stomach, trying to calm Carina down. Tara laughed and patted my leg.

"I'm not telling you not to but you need to be on your back more than your sides." She raised her brow when I laughed. "What?"

"I really don't think you want to start discussing sex positions with me. Just, don't worry. I stay off my sides and stomach." I laughed. Her cheeks blushed a little as she nodded.

"Will you please take it easy? It's only going to get worse over the next months." Tara smiled when I agreed.

"Speaking of the next months, have you heard when they'll be going inside?" I asked, hoping she had some insight from Jax. She shook her head. "I just really want him to be there when she's born."

"Hopefully he is, Kat." She answered her phone and mouthed a silent sorry. I felt my own phone start to vibrate and knew something was wrong.

"Hey baby." I answered the phone, looking forward to hearing his voice for the first time that day.

"Hey. We're going on lockdown. Are you still at Tara's?" I could barely hear him over the motorcycles in the background.

"Yeah, Havoc is with me. Do you want me to go pack or are you going to stop by there?" I winced as Carina started kicking again. Happy told me to stay put and wait for Kip. I was given strict instructions not to leave Tara's before Kip got there. Happy was already on his way home to get some clothes and dog food. "Okay, I'll see you at the clubhouse."

I forced Tara into letting me help her get things gathered up for Abel as she started packing a bag of clothes for both her and Jax. I packed diapers and outfits for Abel, looking forward to having little outfits and diapers for Carina. I had bought a few outfits so far but mostly stuck to necessities like diapers and wipes so far.

"Would you be furious if someone threw you a baby shower?" Tara asked as we waited for Kip. I bit my lip, torn about my answer.

"I wouldn't be mad but I don't want anyone to feel obligated. You all have already done so much for me." I said. Tara smiled and I knew it was already in the works. "At least do me a favor and don't invite Happy. He would be miserable."

"Oh, he's definitely not invited." Tara laughed. I smiled just as Kip pulled into the driveway. Tara stood up and pulled her bag onto her shoulder. "Well, let's go get this lockdown started."

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably as we waited at a traffic light. Kip was behind me and his head was on swivel, constantly scanning to the sides and behind us. The anxiety of unknowing and my physical discomfort had me on edge. Whatever the club was going on lockdown for had to be connected to Zobelle, Happy had told me things were getting worse. I didn't expect it to come to a head so quickly though.

"You look terrible." Kip said, offering me a hand. I took it and slowly climbed out of the jeep. He nodded, "Yeah, you just took my help. Something is definitely wrong."

"I'm carrying the child of someone a foot taller than me. It's not the most comfortable situations to be in." I grumbled. He whistled for Havoc to follow us into the clubhouse. Just as Kip opened the door, a sharp pain hit my lower back. I doubled over, squeezing Kip's arm tightly.

"Hey! Go get Tara!" Kip yelled to no one in particular. Hot tears started rolling down my cheeks as Chibs came over to help me to a couch. Havoc growled and tried to keep him back until Kip snapped at him to back down. I tried breathing through the pain but it wasn't subsiding. Lying on the couch didn't do much to alleviate the pain either.

"Everyone back up." Tara ordered as she rushed to me. Kip stayed next to me, holding my hand despite the pain I must have been causing him by squeezing so hard. Chibs shooed everyone away from us and pulled out his phone. "Exactly where does it hurt, Kat?"

"My lower back, just above the base of my spine." I squeezed Kip's hand even tighter as Carina started kicking. "Arrrgh, fuck."

"Is she kicking or did it feel like pressure?" Tara asked, pushing on my stomach. If Kip hadn't been holding my hand, I may have reflexively punched her.

"She kicked." I rasped, wishing the pain would stop for even a second. Kip shuffled around and gave me his other hand, shaking the one I had been squeezing until that point.

"I need to examine you and check the baby, Kat. Best case you pinched a nerve but I can't know without at least checking her." I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could just have a normal pregnancy with no excruciating pain or lockdowns. "Chibs, either help Kip move her to a room or get everyone out of here."

"We shouldn't move her." Kip said. I gritted my teeth as pain shot through my back again. "Tara, I'm not losing my niece or my sister. Help them."

"Everybody out! Get outside or in a back room! Go!" Chibs yelled. The few people remaining in the clubhouse scrambled to leave. Juice paused on his way out.

"Can I do anything?" He offered. I squeezed Kip's hand and whimpered.

"Take Havoc and keep everyone but Happy out. Everyone." Chibs said. Tara reappeared with a medical bag and some towels. Chibs took the bag from her and started unpacking it. "Do you need me?"

"Yep." Tara pulled a pair of latex gloves on and looked down at me. "I'm going to start examining you, okay? Try to relax."

"Yeah, my brother and Chibs are about to get a full view of my vagina. Totally relaxed." I snapped. Kip looked like he was going to be sick. I raised my hips to help Tara pull my yoga pants and underwear off. I stared at the ceiling, refusing to look at Kip or Chibs.

"You're not bleeding, that's good." Tara said. I breathed a slow breath out as she started feeling around. "Chibs, hand me that light, please."

"What's going on?" I was tempted to answer Happy's question sarcastically but I didn't have the energy. He took Kip's place squatted down beside me. "Kat, what happened?"

"Fuck." I squeezed his hand tightly as the pain in my back flared. He grimaced and I heard Kip laugh.

"Glad you're here man. My hand might be broken." Kip said. Happy didn't even seem to hear him.

"The baby doesn't seem to be in distress right now. Your blood pressure is a little high but not too high. I'm telling you as a doctor, you need to be on bedrest. Your back pain is most likely a pinched nerve but you're already starting to dilate a little. The more stress you put on your body, the sooner this baby is going to come." Tara stood up and discarded her gloves. I looked over at Happy and bit my bottom lip. The pain was starting to subside and fear was starting to take over.

"Do we need to go to the hospital?" Happy moved closer and pushed my sweaty hair off my forehead. Tara shook her head with a sigh.

"Not yet. If the pain doesn't get better or if she starts dilating more then she may need medication to stop an early labor." Tara slid my pants back up and gave me a small smile. "We aren't there yet though. I'll recheck you every couple of hours unless you start feeling worse."

"Thanks, Tara. Sorry you had to get to know me this well." I tried to help my fear with humor but it wasn't working.

"It's okay. Happy, can I talk to you for a minute?" Tara nodded her head towards the chapel. I wanted to object but he kissed my forehead and followed her quickly. Kip brought me a glass of water and a pillow.

"You'll probably want to move off the couch but I figured a pillow couldn't hurt for now." He said. I leaned forward so he could put it behind my back. It did feel a little better than the hard couch arm. I caught his arm before he stood back up. He leaned in.

"If something happens to me, make sure they save the baby. Happy will choose me over anything but I need to you keep her safe. Please." I whispered. He scowled and started to shake his head. "Kip. Please."

"You're both going to be fine. I'm not making that decision." He stepped away and balled his fists. "How could you ask me to do that?"

"Because it's what I want and Happy will never do it." I said, wincing as Carina moved around. Kip sighed and eventually nodded. "Thank you."

"Just make sure I don't have to make that call, Kat. If that means laying in a bed for the next two months then do it. I don't want to lose you and Happy will kill me for doing what you said." Kip leaned over and kissed my forehead as Happy and Tara walked out of the chapel.

"Do you want to move to a bed or stay here for a while?" Happy asked. I breathed out slowly.

"I don't want to move but it's going to get crowded really soon. I would probably be more out of the way in a bed." I admitted. He shook his head and readjusted his belt.

"You don't have to be out of the way, Kat." I appreciated the sentiment but I knew it wasn't the actual truth. "Kip, go open my room."

"Alright. You got her?" He asked, pausing before doing as Happy said.

"Yeah." Happy slid his arms beneath me, one under my knees and one around my shoulders. I winced and wrapped my arms around his neck. He stood up as if he was picking up a loaf of bread instead of a very pregnant woman. Being carried was uncomfortable but it didn't hurt. He laid me down and helped me get comfortable. "I have to talk to Jax. I'll send Havoc back here."

"Okay." I swallowed hard. "Hap?" He paused at the door and turned around. "I'm sorry this is happening right now."

"Don't apologize, baby. You two are the only people that matter." He crossed the room and kissed me gently. "I'll be right back."

Havoc ran into the room a minute later. He whimpered and shoved his head into my hand that was on the edge of the bed. I invited him up and welcomed his warmth and cuddles. I felt something wet on his muzzle and pulled my hand back. There was a little bit of blood on my fingertips.

"Who'd you bite, buddy?" I shook my head, wondering who he had thought was hurting me or keeping me from him. "I guess we need to work on your separation anxiety, huh?"

"He bit Juice when he tried to tie him to a post." Happy said, closing the door as he walked back in the room. I shook my head, knowing Juice would have been better off putting Havoc in the jeep or just letting him run around the lot. "He's fine. Probably should have bit him harder."

"Why would you say that?" I knew there was something going on between Happy and Juice. That wasn't the first remark he'd made about Juice deserving something painful. He sat down on the bed and started pulling his boots off. "I thought you would have to leave?"

"Jax is going to call me if he needs me. I'm staying here with you." Happy laid down beside me and slowly placed his hand on my stomach. I turned my head and looked at him, making it apparent that I was waiting on an answer to my first question. "I'm not talking about Juice when I'm in bed with you."  
"Fine but you're going to talk about it eventually." I fussed. Happy nodded, though I didn't think he was agreeing so much as telling me to move on from the subject. "I'm scared, Happy."

"Me to, Kat." He scooted a little closer and rubbed my stomach. I could hear the uneasiness in his voice. "Get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

****Hope you all are still enjoying. Please, please review so I can decide whether or not to continue with a second installment. Thank you so very much!


	18. Chapter 18

Tara checked in on me every two hours throughout the night. While I was able to get some sleep in between her visits, Happy seemed to stay awake the whole time. He would get out of bed while Tara did her thing but never left the room. She assured us both that things were looking okay but it did little to calm Happy or I. Havoc even felt the anxiety and he couldn't settle down. He would move from his bed to the foot of the bed we were in, to the bathroom floor, never staying in one place for more than 10 minutes.

"What time is it?" I scooted up so I wasn't lying so flat on the bed. Happy looked over at the clock and set his coffee mug on the nightstand.

"Just after 9. How do you feel?" He searched my eyes and I knew there was no point in trying to lie or sugarcoat anything.

"I'm sore from my shoulders down and I'm worried about the baby." I admitted. He nodded and stood up. I was about to ask him what he was doing when he walked out of the room, phone in hand. A couple minutes later, he walked back in. "What's going on?"

"We're going to see the doctor. Do you need help getting dressed?" He asked, hoisting a backpack onto the bed. I shook my head and started pulling clothes out. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him walk into the bathroom and throw the door shut without a word. I frowned, wishing he would talk to me about what he was dealing with. Knowing that I couldn't force him to talk, I focused on changing into a black maxi-dress and a pair of flats. Happy emerged from the bathroom and stepped aside so I could finish getting ready.

"What about the lockdown?" I asked, waddling down the hall beside him. Kip hopped off a barstool and joined us.

"He's going with us and we're coming straight back. Lockdown or not, I'm not risking you or the baby." Happy said. Kip gave me a big smile. I didn't argue, although the idea of leaving during a lockdown made me a little nervous. Kip helped me into the Jeep before vaulting into the backseat. Happy gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were going pale. I wondered if there was something going on with the baby that Tara hadn't told me about.

I started feeling nauseous while we were on the elevator. It wasn't morning sickness but anxiety over what could be wrong. The whole ride to the office, I had been thinking about the worst case scenarios. Kip sat in the waiting room as the nurse took Happy and I straight back. She led us into a room and quickly started getting my vitals. My blood pressure was up, of course, but everything else was normal.

"Katerina, Happy, I'm sorry you have to come in for this." The doctor said. It wasn't even three minutes since the nurse left the room before the doctor came in.

"Yeah, I'm honestly worrying myself sick right now. Can I get a garbage can or something?" I felt lightheaded and sick to my stomach. She handed me a special plastic bag with something looking like a paper funnel on it. "I've been hurting in my hips and ribs for the past couple weeks and yesterday I had very sharp pains in my lower back."

"Yes, Dr. Knowles called and filled me in before Happy requested the appointment for you. I agree that you need to stay on bedrest for the remainder of your pregnancy. Today we're going to check everything out and make sure we go with the best option to keep mom and baby safe, okay?"

"Okay." Happy and I said in unison. I felt my bottom lip start to tremble uncontrollably as she pulled out the stirrups for my feet. Happy took my hand and squeezed it firmly. I looked anywhere but at him, knowing that if I saw any fear from him, I would lose it. I pulled my dress up and out of the way and waited for the bad news. Happy never let go of my hand.

"The good news is, your baby doesn't seem to be in distress. Her heartbeat is strong and steady. The cord isn't twisted or in any dangerous position." The doctor said, wiping the ultrasound gel off my stomach. It was the first time she spoke since the lengthy exam started. I breathed in through my nose and let it out slowly through my mouth.

"That means there's bad news." Happy said. The doctor sighed and looked from Happy to me.

"Your blood pressure is concerning me and I'm fairly certain you have at least two bruised ribs. I know you are in a lot of discomfort and I'm afraid it won't get any better as your pregnancy progresses." She paused and took my free hand. "I know you wanted a natural birth on your own terms but if we wait too long, we would be putting you in a lot of pain and unnecessary risk. We need to schedule a c-section, Katerina."

"That's the only option?" I said, tears filling my eyes. She nodded and gave me a sad smile. I took a deep breath. "How early will you have to take her?"

"At least four weeks, Katerina. Dr. Knowles can monitor you at home and we will hold off as long as possible. The baby may have to stay in the hospital a few extra days but it's the best option for both of you." She stepped towards the computer as I tried to digest everything she had said. Happy pressed a kiss to my forehead and nodded. Before we left, we set a date for the c-section and took lists of instructions for Tara and I.

"What did they say?" Kip asked, practically jumping out of his chair. I couldn't bear to tell him. The tears I had been holding back for over an hour started pouring down my cheeks. Happy kept an arm around me as he told Kip everything that we had found out. Kip seemed completely invested, asking questions and putting my c-section date into his phone.

"Where have you been?" Clay barked as we walked into the clubhouse. I felt Happy tense up. "We're dealing with too much shit for you to be disappearing during lockdown, Happy."

"Hap, I've got Kat." Kip offered. Happy was hesitant but stepped away from me after a couple seconds. I wanted to stay and give Clay a piece of my mind, but my back was starting to hurt and it wasn't my place. Kip wrapped my arm around his shoulders and slowly led me down the hallway. "Trust me, you didn't want to witness that."

"He didn't get an okay before leaving?" I winced as I sat down on the bed. Kip closed the door and shook his head slowly. Havoc looked up from his bed but quickly laid his head back down.

"He got the green light from Jax. Dude, shit between Jax and Clay is like the Cold War. Everybody's just waiting for it to pop off." Kip said, pulling the office chair closer to the bed. I toed my shoes off and lifted my legs onto the bed. He jumped up and helped me with positioning an extra pillow to prop me up and offered me an extra blanket.

"With everything else that's going on?" I knew strife between Jax and Clay had to be putting everyone else in unnecessary danger. Carina started kicked and turning, so I tried to soothe her by rubbing my stomach. Kip's eyes grew wide.

"Was that her?" He pointed to my stomach, mouth gaping. I nodded with a little laugh. "Kat, I legit saw like a hand or a foot push out of your stomach. That's insane."

"See why it hurts?" I laughed. He rubbed his own stomach for a minute and nodded. "Would you mind to get me a peanut butter sandwich? I'm starving."

"I got you, extra peanut butter and no crust?" He asked, hopping up from the chair. I laughed and nodded, loving that he still remembered from so many years ago. A few minutes later, Happy showed up with my crustless sandwich on a paper plate. He looked pissed.

"Thank you." I said, taking the plate. He grunted and took a seat in the chair Kip had left next to the bed. I took a bite and swallowed it gratefully. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about. I stepped out of the shit they have going on." He stated. I almost choked on my sandwich.

"What? Happy, I appreciate you choosing us over the club but you're going to need them when you get inside." I put the plate beside me and turned my full attention to Happy.

"I'll be fine. I talked to Jax about it." Happy shrugged. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly. "Kat, you could have the baby any day and you need me. Jax would have done the same shit for Abel if he could have."

"Is that what Tara talked to you about yesterday?" The pieces were starting to fall into place.

"Yeah, she said it was important I be here for you." He shook his head and scoffed. "It's not like I didn't know that shit."

"Is everyone else going to be okay without you?" I regretted the question as soon as it left my lips. Happy's eyes flashed as he jumped up from the chair. Havoc raised his head and growled at the sudden movement. "I'm not questioning your choice, Happy. I just don't want anyone to suffer because of me."

"Because of you, Kat? I'm pretty sure you aren't trying to do anything. You didn't bring this arrest down on us. It's not your fault." He snapped. I bit my bottom lip, worried to say anything in case he stopped opening up to me. "This damn power struggle between Jax and Clay has the club ripping apart in two different directions. The bullshit with that arrest? That is exactly what happens when we don't communicate. I shouldn't have to worry about missing my kid's birth or her first fucking steps."

"Happy." My voice broke as he pulled his hand out of the drywall he had slammed it through. Havoc jumped up on the bed and positioned himself between Happy and I, not understanding what was going on. "Havoc, lay down. Happy, look at me. Please."

"Not right now. I'll be back." He jerked the door open and stormed out of the room, taking care not to slam the door closed. I sighed and buried my hand into Havoc's fur. He huffed, moving his head to my stomach.

I wouldn't tell Happy, but I felt guilty for putting him through this. If it wasn't for me, he would still be in Tacoma, far away from all the drama. I knew he preferred the simplicity of the Tacoma Charter, even though he was very talented with his role as an enforcer and had more opportunities to put it to use in Charming. Tacoma had less drama both within and outside the club. There he could primarily be a motorcycle enthusiast and mechanic with occasional bursts of outlaw.

Happy returned sometime later with a bruised cheek and busted knuckles. I didn't turn off the television or ask him what had happened. It was obvious to me that things only got worse when I asked questions. He gave Havoc a pat on the head before disappearing into the bathroom. I heard the shower start and turned the television volume up. As the show I was watching wrapped up, he stepped out with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Do you think we could..." I let my question trail off, knowing the answer. Happy shook his head with a sigh before climbing on the bed with me. I swallowed hard, running my hand down his stomach. He caught my hand and looked me in the eyes. "Please, Happy."

"You think I'm going to look somewhere else if you can't?" He asked, letting go of my hand.

"I think that you're my husband and all these hormones make me horny." I whined. He smiled and I felt some of the tension I had been harboring start to melt away. When he didn't say anything, I sighed dramatically. "A small, irrational part of me could worry that someone in your position might look for services elsewhere."

"That hurt, didn't it? Admitting I was right." Happy didn't wait for my answer. He kissed me and immediately started picking up the pace. He tangled his fingers in my hair pulled me further into his kiss. I felt myself longing for more of him. Making out with him wasn't going to cut it, so I took his free hand and guided it to my rack.

"Happy, please." I moaned loudly while his fingers worked their way beneath my underwear. He finally let me remove the towel around his waist but having him in my hands only made me want more. I heard his breathing start to quicken as my thumb spread beads of his arousal up and down his shaft. He brought his mouth to my neck, sucking and biting aggressively at the sensitive skin. I raised my hips, pushing myself against his hand. Moments later, I was shaking with an orgasm that rippled throughout my whole body.

"Fuck, Kat." Happy whispered as I took his member into my mouth. After doing most of the work with my hand, it didn't take long before he was holding me still and finding his own release. I spun my tongue around his tip one more time, earning myself an animalistic moan from him. He laid on his back beside me for a few minutes, both of us recovering. I enjoyed listening to his breathing change from rapid to slow and even. I whined when he got off the bed. "Just taking the mutt out for a few minutes. Do you want anything from the kitchen?"

"Just an apple or something. I'm going to close my eyes but wake me up if I fall asleep, okay?" He chuckled as he fastened his belt, muttering something about 'if' I fell asleep. I was relieved to see him in a better mood. After pulling his kutte on, he snatched Havoc's ball out of his mouth and jogged out of the room. Havoc followed him into the hallway, barking playfully.

Things with the club started heating up over the next week. Lockdown was lifted but for logistical reasons, I stayed at the clubhouse. As much as I would have preferred our larger, more comfortable bed, the club was closer to the hospital. Despite stepping back from what was going on with the club, Happy started going out with the club to take care things that didn't take him to far from Charming. He was reluctant at first but Tara and I assured him that we would call the second anything changed. As predicted, I started hurting more and my blood pressure was staying elevated.

"Kat, you're not going to make it another three weeks. Your face is swollen and puffy. You look like," Kip stopped when I threw a pillow at him.

"If you finish that sentence I'll shoot you in the knee." I threatened. Tara chuckled and took the blood pressure cuff off. I looked over at her with a frown. "How bad?"

"I don't like it, Kat. I think we need to call Happy and get you over to the hospital." Tara said, writing my blood pressure on the chart she had made for me. I had a feeling she was going to say that. Between not sleeping and feeling restless, I knew I was getting worse. She picked up her phone and looked at me, waiting for the okay.

"Kip, will you get the gray bag from the closet and take it to the Jeep?" I nodded to Tara and started the slow process of getting out of the bed. I started feeling dizzy before I even stood up.

"We're taking my car." Tara told Kip before he walked out of the room. Happy must have picked up the phone a second later, because she started going over the plan we had just agreed upon. She assured him multiple times that he had time to ride back from Oakland. She didn't even put the phone down between ending that call and calling my doctor. Kip reappeared as Tara rattled off my vitals.

"You ready?" Kip asked. I was struggling with my shoes and getting frustrated. He bent down and grabbed the shoe. "Don't be scared, Kat. People used to have babies in the middle of the woods. You've got this."

"She's early and the mortality rate back then was astronomical." I snapped. He seemed to ignore me because he kept smiling and helped me onto my feet. "Don't forget what you promised me, Kip. Please."

"It's not going to come to that, Kat. We're going to get there, you're going to have the baby and everything is going to be great." Kip was talking fast, one of the clearest signs he was scared. He and Tara teamed up and helped me down the hall and out to her car. Gemma rushed out of the garage office, bag on her shoulder.

"I'll follow you!" She called out. I hated all the fuss but there was no point in telling her to stay back. I leaned the passenger seat back as far as it would go and tried to breathe through the pain that had started while I was getting dressed. Tara drove carefully and slowly dodged rough patches in the road.

"Tara, I appreciate you avoiding the shortcomings of Charming's road department but I think my water just broke." I squeezed Kip's hand tightly as pain shot through my body. She sped up and started honking at the few cars that got in her way. "Kip, don't you dare call him."

"Kat, he knows how to make people disappear. I'm not trying to disappear." Kip said, dialing Happy's number. I groaned and gripped the door handle tightly. "Hey, brother. We're on our way to the hospital and I think Kat's water broke."

"No, it didn't." Tara said, yanking the car into the ambulance entrance of the emergency room. "Tell him to hurry up."

"Tara? What's going on?" I sobbed, terrified. I grimaced and moved my hand down to my leg. I looked down and saw bright, red blood on my fingertips.

"Kat, breathe for me. We're at the hospital. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or Carina, okay?" She hurried around the car as several people rushed out with a stretcher. Kip jogged along beside the stretcher, never letting go of my hand. Tara was a completely different person than I had seen at the clubhouse. She was giving out orders and rattling off medical information that I didn't fully understand. "Kip, you've got to stay out here. We're taking her back for surgery and you've got to keep Happy from doing anything stupid."

"Shit." Kip didn't let go of my hand as we came to a halt outside a set of double doors. "I love you, Kat. Don't you dare give up. Don't even think about it, okay? We're all going to be here when you wake up."

"I love you." I choked out. My vision was getting blurry. Kip let go of my hand, but I caught it just in time. "Tell Hap to."

***Happy's POV***

I paced the waiting room, almost begging someone to try and stop me. My shoulders were tight with anxiety and breaking someone's face would have been a good, temporary release. When I got to the hospital, Kat was already in surgery and the nurses claimed not to know how she was doing. If it wasn't for Kip, the nurse's computer would be in a hundred pieces.

"How fucking long does it take to know if she's okay?" I asked no one in particular. Gemma frowned and started to say something until I looked over at her. I turned at the sound of someone running, terrified that it was Tara or another doctor coming to tell me that Kat and the baby were gone. It was just Juice. I ground my teeth together and resisted beating his face in.

"Is Kat okay?" He asked, looking at Kip. I cracked my neck, trying to remind myself that Kat considered him a friend. Kip told him what little we knew. "Shit. I hope she's okay."

"You get she's pregnant with my kid, right?" I snapped. Juice looked up at me and blinked. "They're both back there."

"Happy, we know they're both in surgery. Everyone is praying for both of them." Gemma said softly. I grunted, knowing better than to tell her what I thought about her prayers. The clock caught my attention as I turned away from everyone. I had gotten there over two hours ago.

"Someone needs to get off their ass and go check on my wife and daughter." I told the nurse behind the desk. She stood up quickly and took three steps back. "Don't stare at me, bitch. Go find something out or get someone out here."

"Happy!" I looked away from the chair that I had kicked across the room to see Tara standing in the waiting room. She was in scrubs that still had blood on them. It was too much blood. I almost choked trying to swallow my breakfast back down. I shook my head, taking a step back from her. "Do you want to meet your daughter or not?"

"What about Kat?" I wasn't okay. My vision was tunneling and I felt like my insides were on fire. "Tell me."

"She's still in surgery. She lost a lot of blood but I think she'll pull through. They should be finishing up within the hour." Tara took a step towards me and I could smell the metallic odor of blood. "Carina is doing great. She's breathing on her own and just barely underweight."

"Kip, come on." I snapped. I knew he'd want to meet his niece and I honestly didn't want to be back there alone. He sidestepped me and followed Tara down the hall. We stepped into a small room with dim lights. The room looked like something out of a cheap SciFy movie. There were large monitors and wires connecting all of the machines in some tangled web. In the middle of it all was my daughter. She was small and had several bands and tubes hooked up all over her body. I pinched the bridge of my nose, refusing to cry.

"She's just over five pounds. She has a feeding tube and we've got monitors watching her closely. She is a little fighter." Tara explained. Kip was smiling and standing closer to the little bed than I was. "You can touch her but don't pick her up yet. Make sure to scrub your hands and use sanitizer. She's early so immune system is a little weak."

"Hey, baby girl." I had done as Tara said and reached for Carina's hand. My hands were shaking. As soon as my finger touched her palm, she closed her hand around it and started moving her feet. I smiled and felt a tear on my cheek. "You look like your momma, little girl. She's going to be excited to meet you."

"Dr. Knowles? Mrs. Lowman is out of surgery and moving into recovery." A nurse whispered. I smiled for the first time in hours.

"We're never going to let anything bad happen to you, Carina. I swear." As she squeezed my finger again, my blood ran cold. She was perfect. She might be early and little but she was ours and she was perfect. I had a brand new daughter and a beautiful wife that I was going to be leaving for years. My teeth ground together and I moved to step away. She wasn't having it. Her hand didn't let go of my finger and she started crying. Her cry's were tiny, almost silent.

"Happy, I'm going to check on Kat. I'll come get you as soon as she's settled." Tara whispered as I stepped back towards Carina. She stopped fussing immediately. I nodded, anxious to see Kat.

"She's pretty perfect." Kip said, lightly touching Carina's arm. "How's it feel to be a dad?"

"Ask me after I see Kat." I muttered. As in love with Carina as I was, I still needed to see Kat. I needed to know she was going to be okay. She was the best part of me and I had no doubt I would be a terrible father without her. Our kid deserved better than that. She deserved both of her parents. "I don't want to go inside and leave them."

"I know, brother. I know." Kip patted my shoulder and I regretted saying anything to him. He could be sensitive like Kat and I hated it. I looked away from him and saw someone standing in the hallway, looking in at us.

"Stay in here." I told Kip. Carina started fussing when I carefully took my finger out of her hand. Kip offered her his thumb but she didn't seem to care. I couldn't resist smiling a little. Agent Stahl managed to wipe the smile right off my face. "Why are you here?"

"Just checking in. Heard your family was down here." She shrugged. I cracked my neck and positioned myself between Stahl and the window she'd been looking in. "It's a shame about the timing. I'm sure you don't want to leave your daughter."

"Don't talk to me about my family. Why are you really here?" I snapped. She smiled and shrugged her shoulders a little.

"I was hoping to talk to you about what your family meant to you. You seem like a man that would do anything to stay with them." She was obviously trying to get me to flip on the club. I would be lying if I said it wasn't the least bit tempting. Eight months ago, I would have told her to shove her offer up her ass without hesitation. Now, having just met my daughter and waiting to see my wife, the idea of making a deal to stay with them was almost tempting.

"I'm not a rat." I wished I didn't have to be given the option. She pulled a blue folder out of her bag and offered it to me. I knew not to touch it, I didn't trust myself after the day I'd been having.

"Excuse me. This area is restricted to family and hospital staff only. You need to get out." Tara snapped as she walked up on Stahl and I. Stahl dropped the blue folder back in her bag and apologized to Tara. Tara waited until she was out of earshot to speak. "She's in a room now. We're still waiting on her to wake up but the surgery went relatively well. I need to run a few more labs for Carina, so you and Kip can go see Kat."

"Was Stahl trying to offer you a deal?" Kip asked as we sat in Kat's room, waiting for her to wake up. We had sat in silence for over and hour. Her swelling was starting to go down but she still looked pale. I was determined to stay right by her side, holding onto her hand. I cut my eyes over to Kip, wondering why he was bringing it up. "I know you're worried about leaving them, Hap. Kat is strong and I'm sure Carina is to. I'll make sure they're okay until you get back."

"I appreciate it." I gave him a nod, thankful that he would be there for my family. It wasn't what I wanted but it would have to do. "I don't mind having you as a brother."

"Careful. I might start thinking you actually like me." Kip teased. I rolled my eyes and put my forehead on the hospital bed. All I needed now was for Kat to wake up, anything else I could deal with. I felt her hand move and looked up. She was finally starting to open her eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

"Look at those cheeks!" Gemma said with a bright smile. I pulled the blanket away from Carina's face so she could see everyone who had come to see her. She was discharged from the hospital two weeks ago and was doing great. She had Happy and I wrapped around her little fingers. "She's beautiful, Kat."

"Thank you. She's a great baby." I felt lucky, despite everything we had gone through during her birth and immediately following it. Due to complications with her birth, I was unable to have any other children. They were certain this time. As hard as it was to hear at first, it seemed that we had hit the lottery with Carina. She rarely threw fits and was in perfect health, despite being a little early.

"There's our little girl." Tara gently shook Carina's foot. "You weren't supposed to be at this party, sweetie."

"She's stubborn like her parents. She probably heard there was a party and didn't want to miss it." Kip laughed as he tied a balloon to Havoc's collar. Happy grunted and took Carina into his arms so I could set the diaper bag down. He swayed back and forth, looking down at her with a smile. In all the years that I had known Happy, I had probably seen him smile more than anyone else but it was nothing compared to his smiles since our daughter was born.

"Alright boys, out. This may not be a normal baby shower but it's still ladies only." Gemma said, shooing Kip and Happy away. Happy rolled his eyes and kissed Carina's forehead before passing her back to me. I took a rawhide out of the diaper bag and handed it to Havoc so he would have something to do while I opened gifts.

"Why are there so many gifts? I didn't even register anywhere." I said, noticing all the wrapped boxes and gift bags for the first time. Gemma laughed and shook her head as if my question was just silly. She took Carina as Tara handed me the first gift. Havoc abandoned his rawhide and approached Gemma slowly. He was uncomfortable with anyone but Happy, Kip or I holding Carina. "Havoc, it's okay. Go chew on your bone."

"You two aren't worried about him hurting her?" Gemma asked, leaning away from him. I snapped to get his attention and pointed sternly at the bone he had abandoned. He huffed and returned to his spot on the couch.

"No. He is extremely gentle around her." I explained as I opened the first gift. It was a set of pink, light purple and yellow onesies with tiny motorcycles printed on them. I laughed and knew Happy would love them. Twenty-minutes later, I had opened all of the gifts from Tara, Gemma, Luann and a couple of the crow eaters. Everyone had gone above and beyond. I wouldn't have to buy diapers, clothes or toys for the foreseeable future.

"Really, you all didn't have to do this. It means more than you could ever know." I smiled and nearly started crying. Carina started fussing and I knew she had to be hungry. Havoc leapt off the couch and ran over to Luann who was holding her. She took a couple steps back, obviously scared of him. "Havoc, down. She's fine. I'm going to nurse her but please, go ahead and start in on the cake."

I carried Carina back to Happy's dorm that had been converted into a nursery of sorts. Gemma had purchased a rocking chair and crib the day Carina was born. Havoc slipped into the room behind me and hopped onto the bed. I got comfortable in the chair and started nursing my bossy daughter. She never had any problems latching onto my breast, despite being premature.

"She looks drunk." Happy laughed quietly as he walked in. I smiled down at her nearly closed eyes and rosy cheeks. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

"You've mentioned it once or twice." I knew how much he enjoyed the curves I still had but they made me self-conscious. He begged me to keep a little of the baby weight on. "Have you heard anything yet?"

"Twelve days. Jax just got off the phone with the lawyer. I took a deep breath and nodded slowly. It was better than we had expected, especially since we didn't know if he would even meet Carina outside of prison visitation. Still, I wasn't ready. "I need to talk to you about something. I'm not supposed to know and you can't say anything to anyone, especially Tara or Gemma."

"What is it?" My heart rate picked up, hoping it had something to do with a lighter sentence. He explained a deal that Jax was making with Stahl. At first, I thought he was crazy. If the club found out that Jax made a deal with the ATF, they would kill him. Happy didn't stop there. He filled me in on a complicated, detailed plan. The more he told me, the more holes I saw in the plan. Still, if they managed to pull it off, Happy would be home well before Carina's second birthday. It was better than I could have expected.

"Does this have anything to do with Stahl's visit in the hospital and Tara's pregnancy?" I almost whispered, unsure how thin the walls really were.

"I'm not part of it, Kat. Jax just told me about it. I'm sure Tara has something to do with the reason he's risking his life on this shit." He took Carina as I cleaned myself up and pulled my top back up. I told myself not to get too excited yet. It was a risky plan. I watched as Happy started burping Carina like a pro. He was exceptional with her, never even needing to be asked to help. She burped and he scrunched his nose. "Her burps are worse than Tig's."

"Aw. Did you hear what Daddy said about you?" I knew she was too young but it looked like she smiled up at us. "I probably need to get back out to the baby shower. She's already being spoiled by everyone."

"I'll put her down. I'm just waiting on you." Happy said, rocking Carina gently. I nodded and quietly slipped out of the room. I didn't bother taking Havoc with me. He preferred to be close to the baby if we weren't at home.

"Seriously, have you seen him with the baby?" I almost didn't hear the girls whispering in the laundry room but the word baby caught my attention. "He's always been hot but now he's got the daddy thing going for him."

"You're barking up the wrong tree. Happy hasn't even touched another woman since Kat showed up. You would have better luck with Jax if you just needed to try and get your Daddy fix." I recognized Lisa's voice and smiled. I trusted Happy, but it was nice to hear how jealous the crow eaters were. I didn't bother listening to any more of their locker room talk.

"Took you long enough. Sneak in a quickie?" Gemma teased. I sighed and shook my head. I still had doctor's orders to avoid heavy lifting or sex for another week. I started getting frustrated after my second day home. As much as I hated to agree with the gash, she had a point; Happy was an incredibly sexy father.

"Sadly not." I pouted. Tara laughed and handed me a piece of cake and a fork. The party wound down after another hour. Happy and one of the new prospects loaded all of our gifts into the jeep. He was wearing the baby monitor on his belt and kept threatening people if they were being too loud. I couldn't help but laugh a little. Seeing him transition to his role as a father was amazing. He was still his intense, loyal self but now he seemed to have a whole new reason to live.

One night, before we left the hospital, he had told me that he was worried everyone would see him as soft. I had earned a harsh scowl when I laughed at the idea of anyone thinking he was soft. It turned out, I had been right. No one thought he was going soft or losing his edge. If anything, he was more focused and ruthless than ever when it came to the things he had to do to protect his family, both blood and brothers. I wouldn't tell him, but if I was worried about anything in the beginning, it was rather or not he could switch from enforcer to daddy every day. Luckily, I had been wrong that time.

"Kat, will you rub my shoulder?" He asked after we got Carina settled down in her crib. I climbed behind him and stretched my legs out on either side of his waist. As I massaged his shoulder, focusing on a tight muscle knot, he started rubbing my leg. I was glad he couldn't see me bite my bottom lip to hold back a moan. He continued rubbing my leg and I started losing the ability to focus on my task. "Are you ever going to let me put ink on you, baby?"

"What do you want to put on me?" He must have heard the lust in my voice because he twisted around to look at me. I swallowed hard. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" He repositioned himself so he was facing me and smirked wickedly. I shook my head slowly. "Don't wake her up."

"What?" Instead of answering me, he kissed me quiet. I moaned against his lips, wanting everything I couldn't have from him. His kiss was so deep and passionate, I didn't even notice him pulling my underwear off. When he touched me, I felt every nerve in my body coming to life. He trailed kisses down my neck and chest, all why gently rubbing my center. "Happy, you don't have to…oh."

I was still trying to catch my breath when he kissed me, letting me taste my arousal that he had seemed to thoroughly enjoy. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip as he pulled away. I pulled myself together and slid out of the bed, grabbing his hand as I walked into the bathroom. He stepped out of his jeans and I turned the shower on. The water was hotter than I normally showered with, but I knew it would help his sore muscles. He let me push him under the water so I could repay the favor without drowning.

After the shower and feeding Carina, we went to bed together, both exhausted and somewhat satisfied. He held me close, so it was easy for me to tell when he fell asleep. His breathing evened out and I carefully rolled over to face him. The skin around his new tattoo of our daughter's name was starting to heal. He had just enough room for the tattoo in the bend of the serpent's body and said it was the best place for it as it was close to his heart. I gently caressed his face and closed my eyes, savoring one of the last nights I would have with him.

"What's wrong?" I had woken up to an empty bed and Happy's kutte missing from the back of the door. I found him in the kitchen feeding Carina and waiting on a pot of coffee to brew. It would have been a sweet scene to walk in on had his face and body not been so tense. He didn't answer. With a sigh, I let Havoc outside and then filled his water and food bowls. Happy still didn't say anything, despite following my every move with his eyes. He eventually poured his cup of coffee and passed Carina off to me. I decided to let him enjoy his coffee before trying again.

"Since when do you not want me to go down on you?" Happy growled. I blinked, wondering where his question had come from. He had finished his coffee and I had given Carina a bath before he ever spoke to me. "Last night, you were going to tell me to stop."

"No, I told you that you didn't have to." I corrected him. He rolled his toothpick between his teeth for a few seconds and scowled. "I didn't want to leave you unsatisfied."

"Fuck that." He snapped. I didn't understand where his anger was coming from. He seemed fine when we went to bed. "Where are you going?"

"To take a shower before Carina wakes back up, Happy." I kissed him on the cheek and left him brooding in the kitchen. While I let the shower warm up, I put a towel on the rack and turned the bluetooth speaker on. My phone was always on my nightstand, so I was confused when it wasn't laying there when I tried to start some music for my shower. I looked behind the nightstand and under the bed but it was nowhere to be found. My blood started heating. I turned the shower off and walked back into the kitchen with my robe on. Happy held my phone up, obviously he had been waiting for me to come looking for it. "May I have my phone?"

"Yeah." He tossed it at least three feet short. I grimaced when the screen cracked. He didn't even seem to care, even though it was going to cost at least two hundred dollars to fix it.

"Childish games aren't you, Happy. What's your problem?" I snapped, tired of his uncharacteristic tantrum. "Since when do you go through my phone?"

"You said there was nothing going on with Juice." He shook his head slowly. I threw my hands up, waiting for something that made sense.

"Yeah, because there isn't. He's a friend. You should have figured that out by the text messages since you obviously don't trust me." I felt angry tears start to build up and it made me even angrier. "I have never done anything for you to treat me this way."

He picked the phone up from the floor and started reading messages off. As he spat them at me, I became angrier and angrier. Havoc walked into the kitchen and leaned against me. I stepped away from him, unwilling to be comforted. "Do you think he knows?"

"You aren't stupid but you're acting like a fucking idiot. I don't know what I've done to you to make you treat me this way." I yelled, immediately regretting my volume. He slammed the phone down on the counter and crossed the floor towards me.

"What do I not know? Have you been with him or were you waiting until I go inside?" He was searching my face and waiting for my answer, but I refused to dignify his accusations with a response.

"I went on one date after you left me. One. The guy tried to kiss me and I slugged him. I had to beg him not to file charges. How many women were you with after you left? What about before?" I was crying, unable to hold the tears back.

"This ain't about that shit." He growled. I rolled my eyes and he kicked the cabinet door. "Just fucking answer me, Kat. Tell me I'm going to have a fucking family to come home to and that our daughter isn't going to call that idiot daddy."

"I shouldn't have to answer you, Happy." My anger started giving away to pain. It physically hurt knowing that he didn't trust me. I couldn't control the sobs that started shaking me. "I love you, you fucking asshole. I have never had feelings for anyone else since I met you and I would never do anything to hurt you like you're hurting me right now."

I walked away from him to comfort Carina who had started crying during our argument. Picking her up and holding her against my chest gave me some comfort. She was proof that Happy and I had been through worse and made it through together, even if it didn't feel like it at the moment. She quieted down quickly and started falling asleep again. I kept holding her, not ready to put her down again.

"Kat." I had my back to the door and bit my lip. His voice was tight but all of the anger was gone. My name sounded like a plea from him. "I'm not ready to leave you two."

"We still have time but you're spending it mistrusting me and accusing me of ridiculous sh-stuff." I kissed Carina's forehead and laid her back down in the crib. Happy nodded. With a heavy heart, I brushed my lips against his. "Don't come home until you get your head straight. I love you and I'm going to miss the hell out of you but you can't hurt me like that again. I don't deserve it and it's not who you are."

"Kat, come on. I'm sorry." He caught my wrist but didn't fight me when I pulled away. He left a few minutes later, so I got in the shower and let my tears mix with the water. I cried for my pain, I cried for his fear of leaving us, I cried for Carina losing at least a year with her father and I cried for the damage that had been done to our relationship that morning. Things weren't going to be fixed easily or quickly.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have had Juice help me with a surprise for Happy. Despite how misplaced his resentment was, things were rocky between them. Still, Juice was my friend and was much better at keeping secrets than my beloved twin brother. I slid my rings off my finger and wished things would go back to how they were the day he'd given them to me. Sure, we were still facing the same challenges then but we didn't have a dark cloud of mistrust above our heads. I put the rings back in place and forced myself off the bed.

"Come on." I called for Havoc to get in the jeep, my will power crumbling. I was running out of time with my husband and I didn't want to spend it fighting. Carina was wide awake and looking around with her big brown eyes as I secured her car seat. Havoc took his position in the front passenger seat, having lost the back seat to the diaper bag and car seat. As I backed out of the garage, a tiny part of me worried that showing up unannounced would result in me finding Happy with a crow eater or sweet butt. The thought popped in my head as fast as I shook it out. That wasn't us. We didn't mistrust each other. I wasn't going to let his irrational concerns about Juice influence my fears.

"You've got to be kidding me." I groaned. When I pulled up, Happy was standing shirtless in the middle of the boxing ring. Opie and Jax were standing outside of the ring with cigarettes. I watched Juice climb into the ring from the side farthest from Happy. Havoc noticed and started growling. I had kept him away from the ring whenever Happy was boxing. He didn't understand and saw anyone fighting Happy as a threat. Gemma walked up as I got Carina out of her car seat. "Thank God. Can you take her?"

"Of course." Gemma smiled and took Carina into her arms as I tried to decide what the best way to control Havoc would be. Happy and Juice were already dancing around in the ring, so there was no hope of getting him inside the clubhouse. I regretted abandoning his training over the past few weeks. He was a good dog but he had a high drive to protect us and that could be hard to control when he was out of practice.

He started growling louder and pulled hard against the lead as we approached the ring. The leather was digging into my hand. Happy didn't seem to notice us as he pinned Juice against the ropes and assaulted his stomach. Jax offered to take Havoc but I knew he would get himself bitten. I was going to be lucky if marks from the lead was the worst injury I got. Juice landed a right hook to Happy's temple and Havoc lunged. The lead tightened down on my hand even more.

"Hey! Enough!" Jax yelled, sliding into the ring and pulling Happy off of Juice. Havoc was standing on his back feet, slobber flying as he snapped his jaws shut with every bark. Happy jumped out of the ring as soon as he saw us. Havoc didn't take his eyes off Juice, even when Happy made it to us and tried to calm him down.

"Havoc! Enough!" I pulled the lead back with a snap and he sat down, ears flat to his head. His whole body was tense with misguided anger. I looked at Happy and shook my head. "I would have called ahead but something happened to my phone."

"Why are you here?" He pressed the back of his hand to his split cheek, pulling it away to look at the blood. I rolled my eyes, considering going back home instead of going through with my plan to smooth things over with him.

"I have less than two weeks left with a complete family." I shrugged. He hung his head and closed his eyes. "Do you still not believe me about Juice?"

"What?" I motioned towards the boxing ring. He shook his head. "That's been a long time coming. He chose going to the ring over telling me what you're trying to surprise me with."

"You're ridiculous." I sighed, stepping forward and pressing a kiss to his sweaty lips. "I don't want to fight with you before you leave but this isn't me saying what happened this morning is okay now."

"Alright." He moved a hand to the back of my head and held me close as he kissed me. I felt Havoc relax at the end of the lead. Happy kept the kiss brief. He seemed to understand he was on thin ice with me. "Will you tell me what the surprise is?"

"You finally get to put ink on me. I was getting your machine and stuff brought to the house tomorrow." I shrugged. He frowned and kissed me gently. "Do you still want to do it?"

"Of course, I do." He nodded. "Don't worry, it's not a crow. I've had it drawn up for you for months."

"Good." I felt familiar butterflies start to dance in my stomach. They only happened with him. He called Gemma over, telling her he wanted his baby back. I laughed and leaned into him. No matter what fights we had before he left, we were going to be there for him when he got home.

"I love you." He whispered. I looked up at him and saw the Happy I knew and loved. He seemed to relax as he held Carina.

"How much?" I asked with a little smirk. He laughed and rested his forehead on mine.

"Like, a lot." He smiled.

***We'll have one more chapter before I start Part 2! I'll probably take about a week off between the completion of this to the beginning of the next installment. Thank you for all of your reviews, follows and favorites!***


	20. Chapter 20

"Kat?" I looked up from the letter I had been writing. Happy was leaning against the door with a sad smile. He crossed the room and pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest. I swallowed the lump in my throat and rested my head on his shoulder, savoring the moment. "It went well."

"You're sure?" I pulled back to look at him and immediately regretted it. He nodded and kissed me gently. The news should have made me feel better, he would be gone for just over a year instead of nearly twenty. I didn't feel better though, not in that moment when I had to start saying goodbye. He was due back at the clubhouse and was adamant that I not be there when the officers came to take them into custody. "Here, I wrote you something but I don't want you to read it until tonight."

"Trying to make me cry, girl?" He waited for me to fold the letter and stuff it in an envelope, which I did incredibly slow as I talked myself out of crying. It felt like all I had done the past week was cry. I turned back to him and I knew he saw the tears in my eyes. "Just think of it as a deployment, only I'm getting shot at a lot less."

"Hopefully I'll see you more than I would on deployment." I was doing my very best to look on the bright side but it wasn't one of my many talents. He smiled and nodded, tucking the letter into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Don't forget to keep lotion on that for a couple more weeks." He ran his thumb over the snake tattoo that wrapped around my wrist. It was the same pattern and colors as the snake on his chest. Having him tattoo me at home turned out to be a great idea, even if the surprise had been ruined. He took his time to make sure everything was perfect and I got to focus on watching him concentrate on his art. His artistic side was something few people every really got to see.

"I know." I felt my chest start to tighten. He sighed and laced his fingers in with mine. "I love you, Happy."

"I love you." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Carina had just laid down for a nap, but I led him to her room anyways. He was hesitant to walk in, so I left him at the door and picked her up out of her crib. He was crying silently as I put our daughter in his arms. "You be good for your mom, okay baby girl?"

He held Carina for several minutes but when his phone started vibrating, it didn't seem long enough. We got her settled back down and I followed him out to the living room and towards the front door, all the while begging myself not to cry. Havoc brought Happy his rope and shook it playfully. Happy squatted down and scratched him behind the ears instead of taking the rope.

"I'll see you in a couple weeks. I need you to hold onto this for me." He shrugged his kutte off and handed it over to me. I lost all the will power I had been mustering and broke down in tears. The thought of being without him made me physically hurt. His arms wrapped around me again. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll make this up to you somehow. I swear."

"Just come home to us, Happy. Keep your head down and don't do anything to get your visitation pulled. I'll write you every week to." I pulled his mouth down to mine and kissed him deeply, memorizing his smell, his taste and the feel of his lips.

"I've got to go." He choked. I pulled myself together just long enough to nod and watch him ride down the road. As soon as he was out of sight, my heart shattered and I fell to my knees on the driveway. I struggled to catch my breath, gasping for air as tears choked me and sobs shook my whole body. Havoc whined and laid next to me, refusing to leave me alone.

*Two Months In*

Sweat dripped off my forehead and my muscles screamed as I pushed out three more pushups. On the last push, I collapsed onto the floor, my arms shaking. Instead of bothering with getting up, I just rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. The ceiling fan needed to be dusted and one of the three lights were burnt out. I closed my eyes, choosing to ignore it. Havoc's collar and tags rattled as he stood up.

"I thought you were going to take a rest day." Kip said, squatting down beside me. I shrugged. "Where's Carina?"

"With Gemma." I sat up and stretched my arms out. My shoulders ached and I could tell I didn't put enough deodorant on that morning. Kip handed me a bottle of water with a frown. "What?"

"You're obsessing with this shit and you're going to get yourself hurt." He walked over to the shelf and threw a towel at me. I barely got my hand up fast enough to keep it from hitting me in the face. "How are you going to take care of your kid if you don't take care of yourself?"

"I am taking care of myself. I'm not drowning myself in liquor and cigarettes. I had a baby and I'm losing the baby weight. It's fine." I snapped. I finished the water and hurled the empty bottle at him. "Don't tell me how to be a parent. My whole life revolves around her."

"I know, Kat. I just think you might be avoiding dealing with Happy being gone." I nodded and left the gym, headed anywhere that he wasn't. I was dealing with Happy being gone, there was no possible way I couldn't. I was raising our daughter. I was paying what bills I could. I was doing everything, alone.

*Six Months In*

Carina started fussing as we sat in the waiting room. The receptionist said there was a lockdown in Happy's cell block but wouldn't tell me why or how much longer it was going to go on. We had been waiting over an hour already and the rest of the families waiting to see prisoners had already left. I dug a bottle out of the diaper bag and Carina took it eagerly. She was eating more and more. All of her doctors were pleasantly surprised with her growth.

"Mrs. Lowman, you can come back. They're bringing him to visitation now." The receptionist refused to call me Kat, regardless of how many times I asked her to. She was there every week that I had come to visit Happy and didn't even have to ask me for my identification or who I was visiting anymore.

"Hey." Happy grunted as I sat down across from him. It seemed like the lockdown had frustrated him as well. "What happened to your arm?"

"Well, I actually needed to talk to you about that." I let him take Carina and noticed his stress starting to fade. I hoped it would keep working. "I had to get a job, Happy. The hospital bills and everything else were too much."

"Okay. A job doing what?" He paused in making silly faces at Carina and glanced over at me. I bit my bottom lip and took a deep breath.

"I'm training dogs for Oakland Police." I said quickly. He scowled and shook his head quietly. "It took a lot of work to convince them to give me the job, Happy. The money is good and I only work four days a week."

"You should have talked to me first, Kat." His voice was low and gravelly. Carina kicked her feet up and down happily, unaware of our quiet argument. "Are you working with the cops or just the dogs?"

"The dogs, Happy. I don't see why it would matter." I snapped. He raised his brow and laughed a little. "I have to do what I can to provide for her, Happy."

"I know that." He growled. I took a deep breath, reluctant to waste our weekly visit on an argument. "So, you got bit?"

"Yeah. It's not bad. It was just a Malinois puppy." I shrugged and smiled at Carina when she looked back at me. "Is everyone doing okay?"

"Yeah. Some dumbasses got in a fight this morning." We changed the subject and talked about new things Carina had been learning and doing. Carina was gabbing away to him when I saw him glance up at the clock above my head. He frowned. "These visits are too damn short.

"Is it that time already?" I felt my shoulders drop forward as he nodded. He gave Carina a kiss before handing her over to me. My hand brushed his and I felt heat rush up to my cheeks. He sighed, glancing at the guard that was watching us closely. I shook my head as he leaned in. "Happy, they'll pull your visitation."

"I hate this shit. Prison was a lot easier when I didn't have a wife and kid." He said. I blinked, taken by surprise by his comment. "Kat, I didn't mean it like that. I just mean it's hard missing you."  
"It's not easy for us either, Happy." The guard stepped forward, signaling the official end of our visit. Carina started fussing, knowing what was coming. "I love you."

"I love you, Kat." He took a step back and Carina started crying and reaching for him. I rubbed her back while Happy dropped his chin to his chest. The guard reached for his arm and he jerked away. I shook my head, shushing Carina. The guard reached for Happy again. Happy turned towards the man and stared down at him. I had seen that look before. He was ready to snap. All it would take was one little push. "Give me a fucking second to say goodbye to my daughter."

"Time is up, Lowman. You know the rules." The guard said, placing his hands on his belt. I noticed how close his left hand was to his baton. Happy probably noticed as well but he wasn't fazed.

"Babe, I've got her. I'll see you next week." I locked eyes with him and shook my head, begging him to stay calm. He cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders angrily but let the guard lead him out of the room. I moved to the door and waited to be buzzed out. I would never tell him but every time I saw him, it was that much harder to go home without him.

*Nine Months In*

"What are you doing here?" Juice asked, inviting himself to sit on the empty barstool beside me. I downed the double shot of vodka and shrugged, uninterested in talking. "You usually go to visitation on Wednesdays."

I nodded and poured myself another drink. He took the bottle and slid it away from me. Instead of arguing with him, I finished my drink and left the bar. I heard him following me down the hallway. When I turned around to tell him to back off, we were nose to nose. My breath got caught in my throat and I couldn't move. His Adam's apple jumped up before sliding slowly, back down into place.

"What's wrong?" He took half a step back. "Why aren't you down at the prison?"

"He got his visitation pulled for a month." I needed more vodka and I needed Juice to leave me alone. He was looking at me strangely, half sad and half…something else. "I'm going to get more vodka. I don't get many nights off from being a single parent."

"Is that a good idea?" He cleared his throat and pulled at the collar of his shirt. "I mean, you haven't drank in a while. You might get sick."

"She'll be fine." I silently thanked Kip for his timing. I used the moment of surprise to move past Juice and back towards the bar. I heard Kip following me, though he walked a lot lighter than Juice. "Kat?"

"Kip. See, I know your name as well." I snapped, grabbing the bottle of vodka. He caught my arm when I tried to pass him. "Let me go."

"What's going on?" It was a simple question but it felt like he was accusing me of every vile thing in the books. I jerked my arm away from him and shoved him away from me. He seemed surprised by how far I could push him. "Stop. You aren't dealing with shit, Kat. You haven't dealt with anything since Happy went to prison."

"No, Kip. I haven't dealt with that shit because I've been raising a child by myself and drowning in bills." I put the bottle of vodka to my lips and turned it up, taking a couple, long drinks. "I don't need you, of all people, judging me for how I'm coping with Happy being gone."

"Yeah, you do. I know you, Kat. You bottle it all up and then you fucking explode." Kip snapped, yanking the bottle away from me and throwing it into the sink. "Just talk to me. Don't do something you can't take back."

"Like what? You think that I'm going to cheat on my husband because I'm sad and lonely?" Kip grabbed my arm and yanked it towards him. "Ow."

"No, Katerina. I don't think you'd cheat on Happy. I'm talking about this." He twisted my arm so my wrist was facing up and narrowed his eyes at me. I knew he was talking about the scars. They were old and barely visible underneath the tattoo Happy had given me but Kip knew exactly where they were. I rolled my eyes and looked away from him, fighting the emotions bubbling up beneath the surface. "The obsessive workouts, weight loss, irritability, drinking? You think I don't know the fucking pattern?"

"I'm alone, Kip. I try to do everything right and things keep getting worse. Carina hates me half the time, I'm under a microscope at work because of my last name and I might have to sell the Jeep to keep the power on." I shook my head, angry that I had let him make me cry. "I have never wanted anyone's help, Kip. Never. Now I don't even know how to live without Happy."

"Kat, just breathe. You're doing a good job. Carina is healthy and happy." He pulled me into a forceful hug and kissed my forehead. "Talk to Opie, Kat. Happy still gets his cut from the club's profits. Did he not tell you about that?"

"Yeah, but it's his money." I muttered. Kip sighed and pushed me back so we could see each other. "I know, I know."

"No, you obviously don't know. Stop trying to do everything yourself. It's not brave or independent, it's stupid. You're not on your own just because Happy's in prison." He lowered his arms to his sides and shook his head. "I'm supposed to keep you safe, Kat. How am I supposed to do that when you're the biggest danger to yourself?"

"I'm not. Just give me tonight, okay? I'll talk to Opie tomorrow." I hiccuped and took another drink. He rolled his eyes and raised his hand, palm up.

"At least share so you aren't drinking alone like some psycho." He grumbled. I laughed and handed the bottle over. "We're already half way through. Everything will be back to normal before you know it."

**That's a wrap for Part 1! I've got a lot going on in my personal life right now so it may be a week and a half or two before I can get the first of Part 2 up. I'm planning on calling it Golden Hour**


	21. Chapter 21

Golden Hour

Chapter 1 has been posted for your reading pleasure. I hope you enjoy continuing our journey together!


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